The Week’s Most Teeming, Scheming, and I-Have-a-Dreaming Headlines A SCOOBY JEW MYSTERY! Today’s episode: The Case of the Haunted Brownstone. Crown Heights, Brooklyn: For weeks, people living in the area were hearing voices coming from their walls and floorboards. “Honey, I think we have ...
The Week’s Most Shaking, Baking, and Resolution-Breaking Headlines PLATE OUTTA COMPTON As Governor Newsom rolls out statewide free healthcare for all illegals, Californians who complain are scolded about how immigrants are needed because their “food is better.” Well, immigrants giveth and ...
The Week’s Most Hopping, Bopping, and Champagne-Popping Headlines AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, AUTOPSIES MATTER In 2024, immigration would be the No. 1 winning issue for the GOP, so don’t count on Republicans to touch it with a ten-foot pole. Still, if any GOPs do want to play their party’s winning ...
The Week’s Most Dollying, Volleying, and Boughs-of-Hollying Headlines ART-IS-ANAL CHRISTMAS Sometimes conservatives come across like flat-earthers, in that they fail to see the curve. Last week’s outrage-du-jour involved a video posted by Her Lordship Dr. Jill Biden Ph.D. Ed.D. Esquire ...
The Week’s Most Hopping, Bopping, and Last-Minute-Shopping Headlines MAGILL, A GORILLA In a coda to the disastrous congressional testimony by U Penn president Liz Magill and Harvard Affirmative Action zombie Claudine Gay during a hearing on anti-Semitism on college campuses, it turns out that ...
The Week’s Most Skimming, Brimming, and Tree-Trimming Headlines BAYSQUASH For blacks, swimming in the ocean can be hazardous. So can sitting on the beach, apparently—odd as that may seem, what with their factory-installed sunblock. In 2019, Jerrid Powell was sunbathing on the Santa Monica ...
The Week’s Most Embering, Dismembering, and December-to-Remembering Headlines BLACK MAGICAL KINGDOM For the first time since 2014, not a single Disney film this year has earned a billion dollars. Following last week’s crash-and-burn of the female-led LGBTBLM flop The Marvels, the House of ...
The Week’s Quirkiest, Jerkiest, and Leftover-Turkiest Headlines GOING COLD TURKEY Another Thanksgiving come and gone. And, as every year, a cavalcade of op-eds about how the holiday is “genocidal.” Although, when you think about it, while Native Americans are generally portrayed as the ...
The Week’s Most Wasting, Pasting, and Turkey-Basting Headlines RICKET SCIENTISTS Welcome to this weekend’s edition of Lowclassterpiece Theatre. When Minot, North Dakota, resident Steven Riley, a “son of the soil” who’d dedicated his life to learning how to open beer cans from the ...
The Week’s Most Hissing, Prissing, and Armisticing Headlines ALL THAT FRITTERS IS NOT GOLD Patrisse Cullors is the BLM zeppelin who embezzled millions of George Floyd bucks before being kicked out of her own bankrupt org. And now she’s reinvented herself as a “performance artist,” raking ...
