The Week's Most Steroidal, Negroidal, and Hemorrhoidal Headlines WHITE MEN, WRONG WORDS Two elderly white men got in trouble last week for making the sort of comments that people who hate elderly white men expect them to make. This led to outrage (and possibly a sense of relieved vindication) ...
The Week's Most Suspicious, Seditious, and Meretricious Headlines NANCY PELOSI's FOOT FETISH Last week in San Francisco, former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi got down on her knees"which, for all we know, may be cosmetically enhanced"to humbly wash the feet of a pair of immigrant ...
The Week's Most Regrettable, Lamentable, and Unforgettable Headlines HAPPY TAX FREEDOM DAY! As Americans scramble to file their 2013 tax returns by tomorrow's midnight deadline, let us never forget that on average, we work from January 1 to around April 15 merely to give the government the lunch ...
The Week's Most Momentous, Horrendous, and Portentous Headlines THE WORLD's MOST HOMOPHOBIC WEB BROWSER The Pink Hydra has slain another Web titan. Although Brendan Eich is the creator of the ubiquitous programming language JavaScript, he lasted a little more than a week as CEO of the Mozilla ...
The Week's Most Fallacious, Vexatious, and Ostentatious Headlines THE NOBLE CAMPAIGN TO FIGHT (SPECIFIC FORMS OF) RACIAL STEREOTYPING Who would have thought that you could take people of widely divergent racial and religious backgrounds, cram them together"often against their will"and ...
The Week's Most Wasteful, Disgraceful, and Distasteful Headlines DEATH OF A HOMO-HATING LION Westboro Baptist Church Pastor Fred “God Hates Fags” Phelps, perhaps America’s greatest performance artist of the past generation, has gone creaking into the afterlife. The former lawyer, ...
The Week’s Most Abominable, Improbable, and Unconscionable Headlines IT’S HARD OUT HERE FOR AN ASPIRING RAPPER Although one can’t swing a baseball bat these days without accidentally hitting a hip-hop artist who’s been convicted of a violent crime, imagine how much harder ...
The Week’s Most Contentious, Pretentious, and Sententious Headlines INTERSECTIONAL SQUABBLING AT THE OSCARS This year’s Academy Awards ceremony"cohosted by Ellen Degeneres, Karl Marx, and Herbert Marcuse"was the most aggressively PC such event in history. However, the ...
The Week’s Most Defamatory, Declamatory, and Derogatory Headlines PUTIN PULLS A POWER MOVE Fasten your seat belts and take your heart pills, because we may be on the brink of World War III. Late last week, “men in military uniform without national insignia” were spotted at an ...
The Week’s Most Political, Hypocritical, and Sodomitical Headlines WILD IN THE STREETS Police and antigovernment protesters clashed on streets across the globe last week. In all instances except one, the police emerged victorious. Violence continued in Venezuela in protests that so far ...
