The Week's Most Bodacious, Perspicacious, and Trepidatious Headlines SORE WINNERS IN GLASGOW By a margin of 55-45, Scottish voters elected on Thursday to remain in the United Kingdom. One possible explanation for the results is that elderly voters were afraid of losing welfare benefits should ...
The Week's Witchiest, Bitchiest, and Kitschiest Headlines ASK NOT FOR WHOM THE BAGPIPES BLOW On Thursday, voters in Scotland"a cold, craggy, blustery nation with fewer inhabitants than the Atlanta metropolitan statistical area"will vote on a referendum declaring whether or not they ...
The Week's Most Monumental, Detrimental, and Excremental Headlines NAKED FEMALE CELEBS LEAK FROM THE CLOUD Female Hollywood celebrities and the pissants who worship them as saints are shocked, outraged, incensed, and flabbergasted at what is being called "the biggest celebrity hacking scandal ...
The Week's Most Bureaucratic, Problematic, and Symptomatic Headlines FEDS TO MONITOR ONLINE "HATE SPEECH" If you ever doubted that the concept of "hate speech" was designed primarily to prevent any criticism of the government, cast your doubts into the ocean. The federal ...
The Week's Most Pathetic, Emetic, and Herpetic Headlines THE ISLAMIC STATE CLAIMS ANOTHER HEAD The 9/11 attacks were possibly the most striking and well-orchestrated act of political theater in world history. Modern jihadists may be sorely outgunned and underfinanced compared to their Western ...
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The Week's Most Eugenic, Schizophrenic, and Hallucinogenic Headlines TRAYVON AND RODNEY: THE SEQUEL Our post-racial nation has found its new Trayvon Martin"albeit one bigger, fatter, and possibly even dumber"in the form of 18-year-old Michael Brown of Ferguson, Missouri. Brown is also ...
The Week's Most Erratic, Dramatic, and Traumatic Headlines O-BOMBING IRAQ In 2008, Barack Hussein Obama ascended to the US presidency on chocolate butterfly wings not solely due to the fact that he is 50% black, but also because of his staunch opposition to the Iraq War. On Thursday, he ordered ...
The Week's Geekiest, Freakiest, and Cheekiest Headlines EBOLA COMES TO AMERICA! The USA is a nation of immigrants, and this includes viruses capable of causing widespread death. On Saturday, with a level of fanfare not quite approaching that of The Beatles when they landed on these shores in 1964 ...
The Week's Bloodiest, Muddiest, and Cruddiest Headlines THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE: A WHITE SUPREMACIST? White people in the Anglosphere are so mentally beaten down these days that they dare not make a peep about being white without automatically welding it to an apology signed in their own blood. ...
The Week's Most Hideous, Insidious, and Perfidious Headlines ISRAEL PISSES OFF THE WORLD In response to the thousand or so glorified firecrackers that Hamas has lobbed into Israel from Gaza, Israeli ground forces entered the open-air concentration camp to commence bombing hospitals and murdering ...
