The Week's Most Temperamental, Detrimental, and Occidental Headlines BRUCE GENDER Last Friday night, nearly 40 years after establishing himself as the world's greatest athlete by winning the Olympic decathlon, Bruce Jenner became what is easily the world's most famous man who thinks he's a ...
The Week's Most Maddening, Saddening, and Fattening Headlines THOSE DARNED GAYS AND THEIR DAMNED CAKES In what is unquestionably the most urgent and compelling civil-rights issue in world history"namely, that tense and troublesome intersection where homosexual behavior and the ability to ...
The Week's Most Bilious, Supercilious, and Punctilious Headlines COVER YOUR BALLS, GENTS: HILLARY CLINTON IS RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT A stern warning to the white males who comprise roughly 99.95687% of our readership: If you thought it was tedious being bludgeoned with accusations of ...
The Week's Most Dreadful, Fretful, and Regretful Headlines GAY-KILLING DUO GETS GAY-MARRIED IN PRISON It is perhaps darkly poetic that the "UK's first same-sex prison wedding" occurred between two men who are serving time for murdering gay people. Marc Goodwin is serving life in prison ...
The Week's Most Peerless, Fearless, and Cheerless Headlines SPRING BREAK 2015: MASS SHOOTING AT FLORIDA HOUSE PARTY The normally placid Gulf Coast town of Panama City Beach, FL, was rocked by gunfire early Saturday morning during a house party in celebration of Spring Break. Seven partygoers were ...
The Week's Queerest, Dearest, and Severest Headlines BLACK FEMALE RAPPER: "I HATE FAT WHITE AMERICANS" The Harlem-born muff-diving female rapper named Azealia Banks has a reported net worth of $3 million, which is roughly $2,999,500 more than it would be if she had been born in Africa and ...
The Week's Most Kinetic, Splenetic, and Frenetic Headlines THE QUESTION THAT REFUSES TO DIE: DOES MICHELLE OBAMA LOOK LIKE AN APE? Racists, Republicans, Tea Partiers, libertarians, Fox News watchers, Koch Industries operatives, and basically all white people throughout history have some sort of ...
The Week's Most Dreadful, Fretful, and Regretful Headlines GAY ACTIVIST FAKES HIS OWN ABDUCTION Adam Hoover has been a vocal"or, if you prefer, shrill"gay-rights activist in Ohio since before he was legally an adult. Shortly after midnight one night last week the self-proclaimed "equal ...
The Week's Most Vapid, Rabid, and Acrid Headlines TV ANCHOR SUSPENDED FOR SAYING "JIGABOO" The term "jigaboo""which Urban Dictionary describes as “the funniest sounding racial slur known to man”"nearly cost a female broadcaster in Cleveland her job. Last Monday, ...
The Week's Most Resounding, Astounding, and Confounding Headlines THEIR KAMPF Despite the fact that they lost"and 70 years ago at that"it's hard to think of a vanquished group that retains so much staying power in the popular imagination as the Nazis. To hear the modern narrative, one ...
