The Week's Most Daring, Uncaring, and Overbearing Headlines “RENT A JEW” PROGRAM LAUNCHED IN GERMANY Do you have any Jewish friends? If not, have you ever considered renting one? A new program in Germany enables you to “Rent a Jew” at will. For a designated cost, you will ...
The Week's Most Convoluted, Persecuted, and Prostituted Headlines OUT, DAMN"D RACIST SPOT! Amid the national moral panic that’s been engineered and whipped up subsequent to the recent Charleston church shooting, dunderheaded moral crusaders everywhere are buzzing around like brainwashed ...
The Week's Most Bombastic, Sarcastic, and Iconoclastic Headlines THE MEXORCIST Although few will admit it, everyone secretly knows that Mexico is infested with demons. There are the drug gangs and the prostitutes and the human slaves and the underpaid mariachi players and the mass graves and the ...
The Week's Sauciest, Glossiest, and Mossiest Headlines A NEW WAY TO KEEP HOLOCAUST SURVIVORS ALIVE FOREVER When they said, "Never forget," they weren"t kidding! Seventy years after World War II ended, the world is facing a dearth of Holocaust survivors. This, naturally, threatens the ...
The Week's Most Abused, Bemused, and Confused Headlines A UNICORN NAMED CAITLYN World champion Olympic athlete Bruce Jenner revealed to a jubilant and enthralled world last week that he has finally crossed a magical rainbow bridge and is now actually a unicorn named "Caitlyn." Although ...
The Week's Sappiest, Crappiest, and Nappiest Headlines BALTIMORE, BLOODY BALTIMORE What's been referred to by the Pansy Press as "unrest" in Baltimore"which makes it sound like insomnia rather than violent mayhem"continues unabated. Over Memorial Day Weekend in Charm City, 29 ...
The Week's Most Daunting, Haunting, and Taunting Headlines ERIN GO GAY The arc of the moral universe bent over, grabbed its ankles, and accepted “justice” into its rectum on Saturday as 62% of voters in Ireland approved of a gay-marriage referendum. The vote was historic, with the ...
The Week's Most Audacious, Tenacious, and Salacious Headlines CAN AMERICA STOMACH HARRIET TUBMAN's FACE ON THE $20 BILL? It’s hard to imagine a universe in which Harriet Tubman would be considered an attractive woman. But even though she's been dead for 102 years"which would presumably ...
The Week's Most Humorous, Ludicrous, and Unscrupulous Headlines THE JIHADISTS WHO COULDN"T SHOOT STRAIGHT From all appearances, the anti-jihadist polemicist Pamela Geller is a shrieking, howling, barking, baying, talon-wielding, attention-seeking yenta who tolerates no criticism of Zionism. ...
The Week's Most Panderous, Scandalous, and Slanderous Headlines ENGLAND's NEXT JEWISH PRIME MINISTER? Ed Miliband's parents were Jewish refugees to England who"d escaped Nazi persecution. And now, less than a week before the general elections, he is a slight favorite to become the nation's ...
