The Week’s Most Austere, Unclear, and Insincere Headlines BARKING MANATEE LENA DUNHAM CALLS FOR THE EXTINCTION OF WHITE MEN Lena Dunham is an unforgivably overweight and savagely unattractive alleged comedienne who blithely makes false rape accusations and once wrote glowingly of diddling ...
The Week's Most Phallic, Gallic, and Microcephalic Headlines HILLARY GETS SCHLONGED BY WEINER After a week that had already seen her lead over Donald Trump in the polls rapidly shrinking, Friday’s news that the FBI was reopening its investigation into Hillary Clinton’s private email ...
The Week’s Most Unreliable, Unverifiable, and Unjustifiable Headlines JOURNALISTS PUT THEIR MONEY ON CLINTON Despite reams of evidence that American media is tilted heavily leftward, everyone knows that the idea of a "liberal media" is a paranoid myth peddled only by elderly white ...
The Week's Most Global, Immobile, and Ignoble Headlines DREAMING OF A WHITE PUMPKIN As the air grows cooler and the days grow shorter, we gather together this holiday season to confront the uncomfortable fact that Western education has become a stinking cesspool of insanity and nonsense. Witness ...
The Week's Most Spastic, Drastic, and Plastic Headlines BILL CLINTON’S FEMALE ACCUSERS GO BONKERS ON SOCIAL MEDIA While the bombshell news story over the weekend was the possibly campaign-sinking release of a tape where Donald Trump says the words “pussy” and “tits,” ...
The Week's Most Dysgenic, Unhygienic, and Inauthentic Headlines UNITED NATIONS: "STOP TRUMP" The United Nations is a wonderful organization that was built upon World War II’s ashes and exists to assure that Adolf Hitler never, ever EVER rises from the grave. And as everyone on Planet ...
The Week's Most Neurotic, Narcotic, and Sclerotic Headlines DON KING: “THE WHITE WOMAN” SHOULD VOTE FOR TRUMP Legendary boxing promoter Don King is known for his colorful language, wild hair, and the fact that he once stomped a man to death. On Wednesday at a church in Cleveland, he ...
The Week's Most Conspiratorial, Dictatorial, and Accusatorial Headlines MEXICAN NEWSPAPER: WE NEED TO BUILD A WALL A newspaper in that wondrously vibrant, spicy, technologically challenged, and intellectually deprived nation directly south of the USA has declared that Mexico needs a border ...
The Week’s Most Pathetic, Splenetic, and Phrenetic Headlines HILLARY CLINTON: STILL NOT SICK In order to silence the endlessly paranoid conspiracy theories spawned like demon seedlings from the right-wing fever swamps that have been insisting without any evidence that Hillary Clinton may be ...
The Week's Most Seductive, Instructive, and Counterproductive Headlines NIGEL FARAGE BOARDS THE TRUMP TRAIN Nigel “Mr. Brexit” Farage joined Donald “Our Lord and Savior” Trump last Wednesday evening before a roaring crowd of 15,000 or Trumpeteers in Jackson, MS. ...
