The Week's Most Belated, Overrated, and Decapitated Headlines BEHEADING KATHY GRIFFIN Kathy Griffin is a post-menopausal comedienne with the face of a brontosaurus who was labeled a "shrieking orange cunt-monster" in these very pages over six years ago. To say that she is an attractive ...
The Week's Most Improficent, Insufficient, and Inefficient Headlines STUDY: ONLY WIMPS SUPPORT SOCIALISM Conventional wisdom has always dictated that socialists tend to be weak, conformist, lily-livered, yellow-bellied, thumb-sucking, lollipop-licking, low-testosterone mammy's babies who view the ...
The Week's Most Devastating, Irritating, and Isolating Headlines IS YOUR PUG A NAZI? Because racism is problematic"easily the most problematic problem on the planet"it is important to eradicate it not only in humans, but in the animal kingdom. This bitter lesson is being shoved down the ...
The Week's Choppiest, Floppiest, and Sloppiest Headlines TRUMP FIRES FBI DIRECTOR On May 2 of this year, Hillary Clinton"the sorest loser in political history"blamed FBI Director Jim Comey's letter to Congress last October 28th for her devastating and hilarious loss to Donald J. Trump. ...
The Week's Most Mannish, Spanish, and Klannish Headlines BATTLE OF NEW ORLEANS: THE SEQUEL As you read this, there may be blood flowing in the streets of New Orleans. Two years ago after the Charleston Massacre was exploited as an excuse to start razing all Confederate monuments and symbols ...
The Week's Most Detestable, Suggestible, and Indigestible Headlines POP SUPERSTAR ACCUSED OF ENABLING ANTI-SEMITISM Baby-faced pop singer Justin Bieber has earned a quarter-billion dollars and sold 45 million records merely by dint of being a white male who pretends to be black. Three years ago ...
The Week's Most Hurried, Worried, and Curried Headlines FRANCE VOTES ON WHETHER TO COMMIT SUICIDE Today French voters go to the polls in the first round of their presidential election. The outcome may determine whether France still has a chance of remaining French. Almost as if he was ...
The Week's Snappiest, Crappiest, and Unhappiest Headlines "MOTHER OF ALL BOMBS" ACCUSED OF SEXISM Fulfilling Donald Trump's campaign promise to "bomb the shit out of" ISIS, US forces dropped an 11-ton Massive Ordnance Air Blast (MOAB) bomb on an Islamic State stronghold in eastern ...
The Week’s Most Abusive, Intrusive, and Exclusive Headlines HAS TRUMP GONE FULL NEOCON? We regret to inform our readers that last Thursday, Donald Trump authorized the US military to fire 59 Tomahawk missiles at a Syrian airfield that was suspected of launching a chemical-weapons attack ...
The Week's Most Dogmatic, Prostatic, and Schismatic Headlines CONGRESSWOMAN's HAIR COMPARED TO JAMES BROWN's, WORLD RECOILS IN RIGHTEOUS HORROR"¨Since 1991, Democratic Congresswoman Maxine Waters has represented much of southern Los Angeles, a wonderfully vibrant community which has gifted the ...
