The Week’s Most Disaster-Heading, Needle-Threading, and Matzo-Breading Headlines PALM BLEEDINGS Remember Dionne Warwick’s Psychic Friends? Well, Danielle Cherakiyah Johnson was a psychic enemy. A self-described “black astrologer, psychic, and recording artist” with 100,000 followers, ...
The Week’s Most Gayish, Grayish, and Patriots’ Dayish Headlines TAKING IT UP THE BUTT(ERFLY) There was a time when leftists demanded that the entire world stand still for a bug. In 1995, when Steven Spielberg of Schindler’s List fame, Jeffrey Katzenberg of Disney fame, and David Geffen of ...
The Week’s Most Bitter, Glitter, and Eid al-Fitr Headlines WE INTERRUPT YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAMADAN... Canadians are like sloths. It’s hard to hate sloths. They’re cute, funny, and no threat to man. Also, they’re dumb as bricks. By all physical appearances they don’t even ...
The Week’s Funniest, Runniest, and Easter Bunniest Headlines GENTILE CLUBS, JEWISH BALLS In early-1900s West L.A., the WASP elites spent their leisure time at the Rancho Country Club golf course. Whites only, except for the Japanese gardeners who routinely blew themselves up to take out gopher ...
The Week’s Clingiest, Stringiest, and Springiest Headlines SXSS The South by Southwest (SXSW) film and music festival in Austin is no stranger to disruption. In 2014, a man named Rashad Charjuan Owens plowed through the crowd in his SUV, killing four. Why’d he do it? It was springtime; there ...
The Week’s Most Bah, Blah, and Erin-Go-Bragh Headlines AN APPLE A DAY KEEPS THE TEACHER AWAY (HOPEFULLY) The Long Beach (California) Unified School District has paid $900,000 to a group called “Californians for Justice,” which bribes students $1,400 each to participate in “racial and ...
The Week’s Most Glowering, Empowering, and Lose-an-Houring Headlines HEAP BAD DECISION The Telegraph has declared Americans “in revolt” against “green energy,” thanks to the mass killing of bird species courtesy of wind farms. But a better example of environmental mismanagement occurred ...
The Week’s Most Scion, Zion, and In-Like-a-Lion Headlines KURDS AND WHY Mohammed El-Kurd bills himself as “the first-ever Palestine correspondent for The Nation.” Though technically, that’s not true. There’ve been others, but they’ve always blown themselves up on day one because they ...
The Week’s Most Vile, Worthwhile, and Bissextile Headlines MARCUS STARVEY According to The New York Times, there’s a growing movement of American blacks relocating to Africa. The black participants are calling it “Blaxit.” Fast-food workers, subway riders, Asian pedestrians, and Super ...
The Week’s Most Torrential, Deferential, and Presidential Headlines NUTS TO YOU A guy walks into a doctor’s office. Though normal from all outward appearances, when the man speaks, out comes the most appalling sound—a screeching, lispy monstrosity of a voice. “Doctor,” he says, ...
