The Week’s Most Souring, Glowering, and April-Showering Headlines TODAY’S SESAME STREET IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE NUMBER 1488 Back in the 1970s, Sesame Street introduced Mr. Snuffleupagus, an absurd elephantine/anteater-esque beast that only Big Bird could see. Oh, the mockery that Big Bird ...
The Week’s Floppiest, Stroppiest, and Corn-Poppiest Headlines SWASTIKY WICKET It is said that as Hans Frank ascended the gallows at Nuremberg, Joseph Kingsbury-Smith, the lone American press representative at the executions, posed a question: “How does it feel, having ruled all of occupied ...
The Week’s Schmooziest, Booziest, and Ooziest Headlines SPEAK THE TRUTH, BLAME THE BEDEVILED Poor Sandy Sellers. The adjunct professor of mediation and negotiation at Georgetown University Law Center found herself in a jam that even she wasn’t able to negotiate her way out of. Momentarily ...
The Week’s Most Bitchy, Kitschy, and Twitchy Headlines HOT (WATER) FOR TEACHER Kids are such delightful scamps! Gettin’ into all kinds of Dennis the Menace-style trouble. Trampling mom’s flower bed, walking through the house with muddy feet...getting a man beheaded. That last one is the ...
The Week’s Most Parading, Upbraiding, and Gasconading Headlines GREEN EGGS AND HARAM The ayatollahs of racial wokeness have come for Dr. Seuss, who thirty years after his death has been accused of infidel-ity because he dared to draw characters who are not white, which makes him a white ...
The Week’s Most Lucrific, Morbific, and Tenebrific Headlines CPAC’S PHARAOH PLAGUES THE JEWS The black vote. Is there anything more important to conservatives? No, there isn’t. The black vote wins elections for the GOP and proves with finality that people on the right are not racist. Well, ...
The Week’s Most Parthenic, Sirenic, and Pyrogenic Headlines WHILE MY JAMAR GENTLY WEEPS Beverly Hills has become a kind of trophy to BLM thugs. Ever since the terrorist org began its national campaign of violence and intimidation, “activists” have repeatedly targeted the Westside city with ...
The Week’s Most Teachable, Reachable, and Unimpeachable Headlines ILL-STARRED INTERSECTIONALIST Somebody get that sista a rabbit’s foot! There’s bad luck, and then there’s Dr. Crystallee Crain, the urban contemporary version of Schleprock. Last week, the Portland Tribune announced that ...
The Week’s Most Leveled, Bedeviled, and Disheveled Headlines ACRONYMS ARE ANTI-BLACKRONYMS WTF OMG SMH. It’s only February and already the people who do the stuff that makes you say, “It can’t get any stupider than this” have gone and done something stupider than this. Yes, the leftist ...
The Week’s Most Velocious, Ferocious, and Braggadocious Headlines PRAISE RHESUS FOR A BOUNTIFUL HARVEST! Not every country is lucky enough to be situated next door to Mexico. Indeed, illegal immigration would be far less of a problem in the U.S. if not for the marriage made in heaven of an ...
