The Week’s Most Toxical, Paradoxical, and Equinoxical Headlines WAIL, WAIL, THE GANG’S ALL HERE Remember when America’s “backyard” mattered? When people were obsessed with nations like El Salvador, Nicaragua, and Panama? Well, who needs that anymore? Not with Ukraine being the new ...
The Week’s Most Blah, Nah, and Erin-go-Bragh Headlines OSCAR AIN’T GOLD; HE’S YELLA Americans might remember Judge Lance Ito from the O.J. Simpson criminal trial, but few recall that the judge in the O.J. civil trial was Asian too (Hiroshi Fujisaki). That both trials had Asian judges ...
The Week’s Most Arching, Starching, and Ides-of-Marching Headlines JEW-F.O. Between Tucker Carlson’s UFO obsession and the recent spate of “flying objects” shot down by the Biden administration, interest in space invaders is at its highest level since the time Jimmy Carter spotted a UFO in ...
The Week’s Most Mayan, Achaian, and In-Like-a-Lion Headlines BOSTON MAR-ATHON If a foreigner from some remote part of the world, with no knowledge of the U.S., were to watch American TV and online commercials, he’d think the nation is 90 percent black (and any whites are married to ...
The Week's Most Bent, Spent, and Given-Up-For-Lent Headlines BROWNIE V. BOARD OF EDUCATION The final week of Black History Month is upon us, and peanut butter inventors are going from smooth to crunchy in their forever-war against fast food. Last Wednesday, two women were shot in a ...
The Week’s Most Spaying, Slaying, and Presidents’-Daying Headlines I GOT YOU, BOOB California’s 31-year “year of the woman” is finally coming to an end (that was one looooong year). In 1992 two female Democrats—Barbara Boxer and Dianne Feinstein—became first-time senators. While ...
The Week’s Most Narrowing, Harrowing, and Cupid’s Arrowing Headlines UP, UP, AND HUAWEI IN MY BEAUTIFUL BALLOON The Chinese just can’t help stealing intellectual property. And as always, their pilfered remakes are of inferior quality. Like the Chinese version of The Red Balloon, which ...
The Week’s Rootinist, Tootinist, and Shootinist Headlines THE JOY GLOCK CLUB Tiger mom? Meet Luger gramps. Old Asian men are so over the stereotype of the wise elderly Oriental. “Wax on/wax off” has become safety on/safety off, as America sees a gleatest genelation of Mister Miyagis embrace ...
The Week’s Most Swarming, Norming, and Storming Headlines THE FINAL SOIL-UTION It’s a popular meme: A wolf, spying a bunch of hunter-gatherers, muses, “Maybe I’ll befriend those humans; what’s the worst that could happen?” Cut to an image of a toy poodle dressed up like a pansy by its ...
The Week’s Most Creamy, Steamy, and I-Have-a-Dreamy Headlines SHRIMP ON THE KLAUS BARBIE In this week’s edition of “you can’t win fer losin’,” Australian whites tried to do the right thing for their people of color, only to discover that the right thing is the wrong thing. And the ...
