The Week’s Most Bitter, Aglitter, and Eid al-Fitr Headlines REPARATION OUCH Attention, Walmart clobbers! Blue Ash, a Cincinnati suburb, became black-and-blue ashy after 37-year-old Karen Ivery soul-trained her way into a local Walmart and demanded $1,000 in free groceries as “reparations” ...
The Week’s Most Boxing, Outfoxing, and Easter-for-the-Orthodoxing Headlines LARDO CALORIESSIAN Celebrity fetishes are nothing new. Rousseau liked getting spanked (hence his “Discourse on the Arse and Sciences”), James Joyce sniffed farts (his masterwork was originally titled Pewlysses), and ...
The Week’s Most Begging, Bootlegging, and Easter-Egging Headlines HOSTAGE NEGROTIATOR Mark Taylor might be the ballsiest lawyer ever; dude’s trying to score cash by purposely antagonizing black folks. Last September, white-guy Taylor was appointed superintendent of Virginia’s Spotsylvania ...
The Week’s Most Ghoulish, Coolish, and April-Foolish Headlines CONSERVATIVE DING-A-LINGS Imagine a Ron DeSantis conference call with Florida conservatives... DeSantis: “You know how I’m out there every day fighting to keep our schools free of transgender propaganda and pornographic, ...
The Week’s Most Toxical, Paradoxical, and Equinoxical Headlines WAIL, WAIL, THE GANG’S ALL HERE Remember when America’s “backyard” mattered? When people were obsessed with nations like El Salvador, Nicaragua, and Panama? Well, who needs that anymore? Not with Ukraine being the new ...
The Week’s Most Blah, Nah, and Erin-go-Bragh Headlines OSCAR AIN’T GOLD; HE’S YELLA Americans might remember Judge Lance Ito from the O.J. Simpson criminal trial, but few recall that the judge in the O.J. civil trial was Asian too (Hiroshi Fujisaki). That both trials had Asian judges ...
The Week’s Most Arching, Starching, and Ides-of-Marching Headlines JEW-F.O. Between Tucker Carlson’s UFO obsession and the recent spate of “flying objects” shot down by the Biden administration, interest in space invaders is at its highest level since the time Jimmy Carter spotted a UFO in ...
The Week’s Most Mayan, Achaian, and In-Like-a-Lion Headlines BOSTON MAR-ATHON If a foreigner from some remote part of the world, with no knowledge of the U.S., were to watch American TV and online commercials, he’d think the nation is 90 percent black (and any whites are married to ...
The Week's Most Bent, Spent, and Given-Up-For-Lent Headlines BROWNIE V. BOARD OF EDUCATION The final week of Black History Month is upon us, and peanut butter inventors are going from smooth to crunchy in their forever-war against fast food. Last Wednesday, two women were shot in a ...
The Week’s Most Spaying, Slaying, and Presidents’-Daying Headlines I GOT YOU, BOOB California’s 31-year “year of the woman” is finally coming to an end (that was one looooong year). In 1992 two female Democrats—Barbara Boxer and Dianne Feinstein—became first-time senators. While ...
