Alan Turing

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Acrimonious, Parsimonious, and Sanctimonious Headlines FEDS FINALLY ACKNOWLEDGE “KNOCKOUT” GAME Although incidents of the “knockout game” have been documented across America for years"€”with the perpetrators almost always being black and their ...

Peter O'Toole

The Week That Perished

The Week's Most Lurid, Florid, and Horrid Headlines A VERY CRIMINAL CHRISTMAS As the world girds itself for another Christmas"€”with quirky regional twists on the festivities such as Catalonia’s scatological Yuletide, a giant flammable Swedish goat, and a mad rush for KFC in ...

The Week That Perished

The Week's Most Septic, Dyspeptic, and Narcoleptic Headlines GROUNDBREAKING NEW RESEARCH ON OBESITY If you"€™re a black woman who eats tons of hamburgers and guzzles gallons of sugary soft drinks, you may want to pay heed to a new study released by Boston University’s Slone Epidemiology ...

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Galling, Appalling, and Caterwauling Headlines WHITE MALES FILE DISCRIMINATION COMPLAINTS In a cultural milieu so utterly inundated with negative stereotypes about white males that it may qualify as the closest America has to true “institutional” racism and ...

The Week That Perished

The Week's Most Fractious, Fatuous, and Vacuous Headlines AMERICANS LOSE FAITH IN ONE ANOTHER, CONTINUE BRAWLING AT WALMART According to a press release on the AP-GfK poll site, only a third of Americans now say that most people can be trusted, while nearly two-thirds agree with the statement ...

Martin Bashir

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Dystopic, Myopic, and Entropic Headlines NEW STUDIES, SAME OLD EVOLUTION A slew of new studies were released last week, many of them only confirming what was already common wisdom. Has there ever been a study to determine whether such studies benefit anyone except those paid ...

Rob Ford

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Thankless, Chancrous, and Cantankerous Headlines FINALLY, A WHITE MAYOR WHO SMOKES CRACK The Toronto Star released video of the city’s mayor, a corpulent slab of sweaty ham named Rob Ford, throwing a conniption and making violent death threats against an unnamed ...

Naomi Campbell

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Hellacious, Sebaceous, and Mendacious Headlines THE MOST UPTIGHT HALLOWEEN EVER This year’s All Hallow’s Eve brought with it yet another autumnal harvest of infantile racial hysteria and misguided cultural outrage. TIME magazine published an unintentionally ...

Hillary Clinton

The Week That Perished

The Week's Most Criminal, Subliminal, and Aboriginal Headlines TRIUMPH OF THE LEECHES According to recently released Census Bureau data, more Americans received means-tested government benefits in the final quarter of 2011 than were employed full-time throughout that year. Whereas fewer than 102 ...

Kesha

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Incredible, Inedible, and Regrettable Headlines POLITICS: GOVERNMENT REOPENS, RESUMES OVERSPENDING The federal government reopened for business last week and wasted no time dumping another $329 billion atop the public debt, finally nudging the total over $17 trillion. The ...