The Week's Most Delicious, Nutritious, and Seditious Headlines ONWARD AND N-WORD: SUPREME COURT RULES THAT "HATE SPEECH" IS PROTECTED Relax, America: It's time to start hating again! In a unanimous 8-0 ruling, the US Supreme Court affirmed that so-called "hate speech" is indeed ...
The Week's Neediest, Greediest, and Seediest Headlines SAY "TRANNY" IN CANADA, GO TO JAIL The nation of Canada huddles jealously north of the USA and has all the personality of a frozen dinner. Because its residents are deeply ashamed that America gets all the attention while the world ...
The Week's Leakiest, Sneakiest, and Creakiest Headlines A DELUSIONAL LOSER NAMED REALITY WINNER Yes, her real name is Reality Leigh Winner. Her parents named her that and are perhaps to blame for many of the things that are wrong with her. A little while ago on Twitter, Ms. Winner called Donald ...
The Week's Most Belated, Overrated, and Decapitated Headlines BEHEADING KATHY GRIFFIN Kathy Griffin is a post-menopausal comedienne with the face of a brontosaurus who was labeled a "shrieking orange cunt-monster" in these very pages over six years ago. To say that she is an attractive ...
The Week's Most Improficent, Insufficient, and Inefficient Headlines STUDY: ONLY WIMPS SUPPORT SOCIALISM Conventional wisdom has always dictated that socialists tend to be weak, conformist, lily-livered, yellow-bellied, thumb-sucking, lollipop-licking, low-testosterone mammy's babies who view the ...
The Week's Most Devastating, Irritating, and Isolating Headlines IS YOUR PUG A NAZI? Because racism is problematic"easily the most problematic problem on the planet"it is important to eradicate it not only in humans, but in the animal kingdom. This bitter lesson is being shoved down the ...
The Week's Choppiest, Floppiest, and Sloppiest Headlines TRUMP FIRES FBI DIRECTOR On May 2 of this year, Hillary Clinton"the sorest loser in political history"blamed FBI Director Jim Comey's letter to Congress last October 28th for her devastating and hilarious loss to Donald J. Trump. ...
The Week's Most Mannish, Spanish, and Klannish Headlines BATTLE OF NEW ORLEANS: THE SEQUEL As you read this, there may be blood flowing in the streets of New Orleans. Two years ago after the Charleston Massacre was exploited as an excuse to start razing all Confederate monuments and symbols ...
The Week's Most Detestable, Suggestible, and Indigestible Headlines POP SUPERSTAR ACCUSED OF ENABLING ANTI-SEMITISM Baby-faced pop singer Justin Bieber has earned a quarter-billion dollars and sold 45 million records merely by dint of being a white male who pretends to be black. Three years ago ...
The Week's Most Hurried, Worried, and Curried Headlines FRANCE VOTES ON WHETHER TO COMMIT SUICIDE Today French voters go to the polls in the first round of their presidential election. The outcome may determine whether France still has a chance of remaining French. Almost as if he was ...
