The Week’s Most Lyrical, Empirical, and Satirical Headlines SAUDIS BAN ONLINE SATIRE Saudi Arabia is a proud and noble kingdom known for throwing homosexuals from rooftops, crucifying petty thieves, flogging migrant workers, and orchestrating the 9/11 terror attacks. What it is decidedly ...
The Week’s Most Psychotic, Despotic, and Quixotic Headlines U.N. URGES FACEBOOK TO FIGHT “HATE SPEECH” The United Nations was founded after a bad man with an evil mustache named Adolf Hitler tried to steal the rest of the world’s lunch money, and it will forever serve as a bulwark ...
The Week’s Most Informal, Abnormal, and Paranormal Headlines MIAMI HERALD ENDORSES CANDIDATE WHO SAYS SHE WAS ABDUCTED BY NORDIC SPACE ALIENS Bettina Rodriguez Aguilera is a chubby, middle-aged Latina who appears to dye her hair red. She insists that when she was but a wee lass of seven, ...
The Week’s Most Captivating, Titillating, and Nauseating Headlines ARGUMENT OVER “QUEEN OF SOUL” LEADS TO SHOOTING Aretha Franklin passed into the giant donut shop in the sky last week, causing many to remember her as one of the 20th century’s most electrifying voices for female ...
The Week’s Most Reptilian, Vaudevillian, and Crocodilian Headlines WEST HOLLYWOOD VOTES TO REMOVE TRUMP’S “WALK OF FAME” STAR The City of West Hollywood is a world-famous Homosexual Mecca where gay men who are tanned to the point of carcinoma run around in pink panties infecting one ...
The Magical World of African Journalism Last night I threw the Magic Mouse bones. The long leg bone landed on top of the short arm bone next to three short bones. The skull landed right side up. They all pointed to the north. I have seen this configuration many times. It says…...... We are ...
The Week’s Dumbest, Numbest, and Glummest Headlines TRUMP KEEPS CALLING PEOPLE DUMB It has been firmly established beyond the mildest whisper of a doubt that Donald Trump is the dumbest man who ever lived, despite the fact that he overcame his tremendous intellectual handicaps to defeat both ...
Mamas, Don’t Let Your Theybies Grow Up to Be Cowqueers Here is the full definition of “gender” from Merriam-Webster, the edition that came out about 16 years ago. Not only is biological “sex” found in the first definition, there is no mention at all about “cultural constructs.” ...
The Week’s Most Kissable, Transmissible, and Impermissible Headlines “PROUD BOYS” FALSELY DRAGGED INTO OAKLAND STABBING MURDER Last Sunday night in Oakland, an 18-year-old black female named Nia Wilson was approached from behind as she stood on a BART platform and slashed in the throat, ...
London Squalling From today’s article London Squalling comes this gem: “ITS LIKE THEY SAY, SMALL HANDS…” Dear me, isn’t that an example of hand shaming? But then, the left always excuses it’s nasty remarks, because their causes are just. Roland Maruska New York, ...
