The Week’s Most Shameless, Aimless, and Blameless Headlines JAMES WATSON: STILL GLOOMY ABOUT THE PROSPECT OF AFRICA Nobel Prize-winning biologist James D. Watson helped decode the double-helix structure of DNA and was perhaps the world’s most respected scientist until he stated the plain ...
The Week’s Stinkiest, Kinkiest, and Dinkiest Headlines LEBRON JAMES APOLOGIZES TO JEWS FOR FALSELY SUGGESTING THEY HAVE A LOT OF MONEY Superstar basketballer and Rhodes Scholar high-school graduate LeBron James is multilingual, as evidenced by the fact that his first name refers to an obscure ...
The Week’s Rudest, Crudest, and Shrewdest Headlines RUDOLPH THE RACIST, SEXIST, HOMOPHOBIC REINDEER Yuletide is upon us, oh ye rosy-cheeked readers, and it wouldn’t be a major holiday without progressives claiming that innocent and beloved emblems of the holiday season be dragged through ...
The Week’s Most Profane, Insane, and Inhumane Headlines HURRAH! WEEKLY STANDARD SHUTS DOWN Ding-dong, the bloated neocon witch is dead! Bill Kristol, best known the world over for making our “Most Annoying People” list two years in a row, is a drippy sack of smirking suet who has ...
The Week’s Most Demonic, Sardonic, and Chthonic Headlines POPE TO GAY PRIESTS: TAKE A HIKE In a new book based on an interview he gave in August, Pope Francis paused briefly from being a communist to say that the Catholic clergy must purge itself of all rump-wranglers and bone ...
The Week’s Cruddiest, Muddiest, and Bloodiest Headlines TWITTER’S GRAND INCREDIBLE TRANS DELUSION If you’re worried about getting banned from Twitter, hard experience has shown us that you can do any of the following and remain unscathed: • Say Christianity and Christians are ...
The Week's Most Defective, Subjective, and Corrective Headlines DOG ACCUSED OF RACIST HATE CRIME Since “hate” is an entirely subjective term, it should never be used in legal proceedings. However, since most people are so stupid and emotional that they can’t tell the difference between ...
The Week’s Most Diverse, Averse, and Perverse Headlines MICHELLE OBAMA: PRETTY, YOU KNOW, LIKE, DUMB Michelle Obama is easily the most famous and beloved big-shouldered transgender black male in the entire solar system. As a Man of Color who transitioned to a Woman of Color, Obama knows ...
The Week’s Most Pornographic, Typographic, and Demographic Headlines NEVADA VOTERS ELECT DEAD PIMP As the proprietor of Nevada’s Moonlite Bunnyranch and six other legal brothels, Dennis Hof was America’s most famous pimp. Last Tuesday he became America’s most famous dead pimp public ...
COLLEGE PROGRAMS TEACH MEN TO BE LESS MANLY We live in a world where men, especially white men, feel as if they are entitled to just walk into any McDonald’s or Burger King and start violently raping every woman he sees. Not only is this horrifying and terrifying, it is completely problematic ...
