The Week’s Most Decaying, Soothsaying, and Dog-Daying Headlines BLACK IS FLAMMABLE “Burn baby burn” is all fun and games until someone makes it literal. The African People’s Socialist Party is a black separatist hate group dedicated to killing whitey and establishing a black ethnostate at ...
The Week’s Most Sniping, Griping, and Stars-and-Striping Headlines MORE THAN A WOMB ’UN The womb is back, and wetter than ever. After years of stern lectures from leftists about how “woman” is a social construct and biological “parts” are irrelevant to gender, the end of Roe has made ...
The Week’s Most Mummering, Bummering, and Summering Headlines JUNETEENTH PICNIC: FREE KNUCKLE SAMMICHES! In the U.K., the day after Christmas is Boxing Day. In the U.S., the day after Juneteenth is Bagging Day, in which the gunfire casualties from the previous day’s celebrations are ...
The Week’s Most Eeny, Meeny, and Juneteeny Headlines 31 FLAVORS A SLAVE Juneteenth, a Texas-originated celebration marking the end of slavery, had traditionally been a regional, minor jubilee. But in June 2020 craven government officials needed figurative pork rinds to toss the ravenous BLM ...
The Week’s Most Flaying, Fraying, and Flag-Daying Headlines WET BACK TO WHERE YOU ONCE BELONGED It’s back! The parade no one wants. No floats, just flotsam. The marching band is marching bandidos. No drill squad, but a mile of clowns. Yes, it’s another “migrant caravan,” shambling from ...
The Week’s Roomiest, Zoomiest, and June Gloomiest Headlines THE LONG CON Not since the wife in Gone Girl has someone made such vindictive use of their death. Jimbo Jackson was the principal of Fort Braden K–8 school in Tallahassee, and during the pandemic he became Florida’s public face ...
The Week’s Most Flaying, Spaying, and Memorial Daying Headlines OKAY, WHO CAUSED A TEMPORAL PARADOX? In the Bizarro 1980s (an inverted-reality dimension), Philip Michael Thomas became an A-list movie star after Miami Vice. Bobcat Goldthwait launched the most successful sitcom of all time (“a ...
The Week’s Most Burying, Ferrying, and Primarying Headlines ENOUGH WITH THE POLACKS ALREADY Call it the Museum of Intolerance. New York’s Museum of Jewish Heritage has banned Florida governor Ron DeSantis from speaking on its grounds. DeSantis was scheduled to give a talk on “the vibrancy ...
The Week’s Most Ellipsing, Eclipsing, and Apocalypsing Headlines SKULLED LABORERS There are many indicators that you may be living in a crappy country. Frequent coups and juntas, plagues of diseases born of poor hygiene, streets running with human excrement, towns controlled by warlords, famines ...
The Week’s Most Spaying, Swaying, and Mother’s Daying Headlines WORDS ARE VIOLENCE! (SO IS VIOLENCE) America’s trannies rank among the greatest inventors of our time. True innovators, like George Washington Self-Carver, Androgene Polley, and Pedophilo Farnsworth. Look at all the genders ...
