The Week’s Most Remembered, Dismembered, and Decembered Headlines WOE-PENING CEREMONIES A dictatorship where slavery is commonplace, homosexuality is illegal, and women are subjugated, Qatar saw the World Cup as an opportunity to prove that it’s even worse than its reputation. The greatest ...
The Week’s Most Romping, Stomping, and Turkey-Chomping Headlines UNKINDERTRANSPORT Not since the Holocaust or the Seinfeld finale have Jews had such a bad week. First, there was Dave Chappelle, who surprised everybody in the world except anyone who knows Dave Chappelle by making fun of Kanye, ...
The Week’s Most Perming, Squirming, and Midterming Headlines GUNFIGHT AT THE O.G. CORRAL In The Little Mermaid, Hans Christian Andersen described Ariel as “white,” with “pale skin” and “blue eyes.” The character was specifically Caucasian; after all, she could swim. Plus, that time ...
The Week’s Most Glowering, Empowering, and Gain-an-Houring Headlines COUNTING (JIM) CROWS Orwell was a genius. Prescient, prophetic, a visionary. Well, in everything but title choices. Because while you’ve certainly heard of 1984 and Animal Farm, it’s less likely you’ve ever come across ...
The Week’s Most Randying, Bandying, and Halloween Candying Headlines HAPPY HITLERWEEN! With Halloween parties and trick-or-treating back in full-swing post-pandemic, the woke scribes who make a living telling white folks how to dress for the season are back too, to tell you what costumes to ...
The Week’s Flukiest, Kookiest, and Spookiest Headlines AFRICAN-AMERICAN SNIPER NewsOne bills itself as “Breaking News for Black People.” It carries headline stories of national importance (“Black woman receives cold fries; a nation mourns”), entertainment news (“Netflix to turn cold ...
The Week’s Most Snatching, Hatching, and Pumpkin-Patching Headlines IT’S THE GREAT PUNKIN’, GNARLY BROWN History has a habit of repeating itself, especially for those too stupid to learn from their mistakes. Like the GOP. The 2010 New York gubernatorial race became goober-natorial when an ...
The Week’s Most Ailing, Failing, and Columbus-Sailing Headlines RAM-COM Journalist Chloe Angyal of Marie Claire holds “a Ph.D. in media studies with a focus on romantic comedy.” What are the odds she’s really hoping for student loan forgiveness? In 2019 she was asked to define what makes ...
The Week’s Most Supernova, Apache Cordova, and Shana Tova Headlines YO’ MAMA KIPPUR For Jews, these are the High Holy Days, the period of getting atoned between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. For blacks, these are the Wholly High Days, the period of getting stoned with kush, hash, and a young ...
The Week’s Most Griefing, Debriefing, and Autumn-Leafing Headlines PRINCESS OF WHALES Nobody’s saying Rolling Stone film critic Katie Rife is fat, but her dress size is IMAX. Nobody’s saying she’s heavy, but any theater she enters becomes an underground cinema. Nobody’s saying she’s ...
