My best friend in high school and I communicated almost entirely in catchphrases from Monty Python’s Flying Circus and SCTV. While not a comedy nerd like me—if Mel Brooks was a scheduled guest on Dinah Shore, I feigned illness to stay home from school—my friend was the funniest girl I knew: a ...

I own a pair of Sarah Palin shoes. Not the “do-me” pumps fetishized by her friends and foes alike. Mine are customized Keds with her face all over them. On the rare occasions I’m brave enough to wear them in public, I feel like a pre-costume-change superhero whose secret powers dwell solely ...

I hated guys like Bill Whatcott when I was pro-choice, and I hate them more now that I’m not. For whatever reason, I don’t play nicely with picketers on either side of anything (photographic proof!); maybe my pregnant mother was traumatized by a pile of sticks. I do know that any measly ...

Immigration is a hot topic up here in Canada right now. It has been that way for decades if you’re a white, working-class “citizen” of Trudeaupia. But by order of our elite betters, our candid chatter about “those foreigners taking over the country” who are “breaking the law” and ...

Here’s how I know the West is doomed. Yeah, the replacement rate is under 2.1 and Chaz Bono is on Dancing With the Stars. But here’s the real reason: Comedians. I heard this all my life, and so did you: Dictators can bear anything except mockery. Like court jesters of old(e), ...

To begin with, it’s white. In an era when “‘black hole’ is the new ‘niggardly’,” you’d think that particular objection to the new Martin Luther King, Jr. statue in Washington, DC would come up more often. The focal point of a $120-million memorial, this 30-foot-tall marble figure ...

“Paul Kersey” was the name of Charles Bronson’s character in Death Wish (1974), the “vigilante” classic about an ordinary man who avenges an attack on his family by picking off the criminal lowlifes plaguing his city. Our hero can only continue his crusade if he remains anonymous. That ...

I’ve met Toronto City Councillor Giorgio Mammoliti only once, at this summer’s Dyke March. (The “real” Pride Parade happens the first Sunday in July, but the Daughters of Lesbos take to the streets the day before. Public blather about “tolerance” to the contrary, separate events are ...

Let’s consider ourselves fortunate that Canada’s Somali settlers—the word “immigrant” is so 20th century—seem more or less content with killing each other. On the last day of July, the Edmonton Journal devoted not two, not three, but seven articles to the latest spate of intra-Somali ...

Writing about the differences between Canadians and Americans isn’t as easy as it used to be. In 2004, for instance, the night before George W. Bush made his first visit to Canada, a panicked Dallas Morning News editor begged me to bang out a quickie piece on just that subject. My submission, ...