When Educators Wind Up Incarcerated

You"€™ll notice pretty quickly if you tune in to underclass sideshows such as Judge Judy that the hapless participants, whatever their age or color, have one thing in common: "€œIncarcerated"€ is the biggest word they know. They pronounce it so proudly, too, clearly chuffed about their ...

Don”€™t Tug on Lucifer’s Cape

In his first letter to "€œGod's elect, exiles scattered throughout the provinces,"€ the apostle (then Pope, later Saint) Peter warned his flock: [Y]our adversary the Devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour. The vague yet troubling notion persists, voiced by ...

Alec Baldwin

Alec Baldwin Sticks His Foot up His Ass Again

The double-edged sword called the Internet spreads and then debunks myths at head-spinning speed. So despite attempts on all sides to erase the evidence, we know with absolute certainty that actor Alec Baldwin experienced yet another one of his infamous Twitter meltdowns last week. What makes ...

Sarah Palin

It’s the Fertility, Stupid

Sarah Palin can"€™t raise your taxes. She can"€™t send your children to war. Yet almost five years after her failed bid to occupy Number One Observatory Circle, Palin's Pavlovian effect on rabid liberals (and not a few conservatives) is only slightly diminished. I don’t quite understand ...

The Last Gay Youth Club on the Left

I’ve heard it all my life: “If some pervert ever laid a hand on my kid, I’d kill them!” Yet how frequently is such blowhardiness translated into action? I can think of a grand total of three cases: last year’s Texas dad, that shady-sounding California mom, and this ...

Nothing Toulouse

If only the Nazis had “come for” Reverend Niemoller sooner. Maybe then we’d never have to hear his stupid “poem” again. “First they came...” is well past its stale date anyhow. Here’s my 21st-century update: First they came for the right-wing ...

Ladies: Start Your Engines!

Japan: Nuked too much, or not enough? It's a question I grapple with at least once a week. One minute I"€™m watching a BBC documentary about Hirohito and some harmless-looking old Japanese guy in a suit and tie is calmly explaining that he"€™d smashed in his mother's skull with a rock ...

Enoch Powell

Dear Luftwaffe: Come Back! All Is Forgiven!

Has anybody apologized to Enoch Powell yet? The British establishment declared the Conservative MP a nonperson back in 1968 after he warned that unchecked Third World immigration would engender catastrophic domestic unrest. His address was dubbed the “Rivers of Blood” speech. Powell, ...

Feeding Shirts to the Homeless

Only last week, I railed against the masses’ naïve and patronizing compulsion to embrace dubious lower-class “heroes” such as Cleveland’s Charles Ramsey. Now another one of these instant Internet saviors is sporting a busted halo. Remember “Kai,” the ...

We Don”€™t Need Another Antihero

"€œWe don"€™t need another hero,"€ sang Tina Turner in an otherwise forgettable Mad Max franchise outing. The 1985 song was a hit for reasons I"€™ll never fathom. Like the worst James Bond themes, it awkwardly squeezes the movie's bombastic title into the lyrics, so the word ...