NEW YORK—The problem with the Supreme Court is not any of the things being talked about today during the millions of monologues, speeches, network stand-ups, interviews, accusations, political analyses, lies, statistical analyses, character defenses, and third-party narratives involving Brett ...
LEXINGTON, Ky.—Two hundred years from now an anthropologist will go through the digital archives of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences and he’ll write a paper (although there will be no “paper,” so he’ll call it something else), and his paper will be about how a defunct ...
LITTLE ROCK, Ark.—If you party hard enough in Little Rock, you eventually end up at a converted warehouse deep down in the Arkansas River bottoms at the end of a gravel road where there’s a combination disco/rave club/beer garden/Latino dance party/drag show emporium where traditions of the ...
NEW YORK—So I’m riding the downtown E train somewhere between 34th and 4th when one of New York’s mentally deranged performance artists starts reading loudly from a tattered typewritten manuscript that he’s obviously been carrying around with him for years. His recitation is full of screeds ...
NEW YORK—I have zero tolerance for anybody who keeps saying “zero tolerance.” You see it on signs at bars. You see it on signs at schools. You see it in press releases. I can’t even count the number of CEOs who have used it in the past few months to talk about sexual harassment in the ...
NEW YORK—Okay, since there are 500 million plastic straws used every day, we need to stop using plastic straws. Wait. What? First of all, if there are 500 million plastic straws being used every day, that means there’s an obvious demand for plastic straws. People like plastic straws. They ...
CHARLOTTE, N.C.—For those of you who are new to BDSM, let me explain a few of the basics. The letters BDSM stand for Bondage Discipline Sadism and Masochism. These are the four principal elements involved in commercial airline travel. I was reminded of this while enjoying my second of three ...
NEW YORK—So I have to admit, I’m one of the people who would wear the “Fake News” T-shirt that was on sale at the Newseum in Washington. But you can’t buy it anymore. After 24 hours of press attacks that amounted to “You’re making a mockery—a mockery, I say—out of the profession ...
NEW YORK—So I’m standing behind a guy at the drugstore who says, “I’m sorry, I don’t have anything smaller,” and he pulls out a roll of hundreds. In any other city this would be a drug dealer. But I live a few blocks from Wall Street and I’m looking at his shoes. You can always tell ...
NEW YORK—Is probiotic a real word or did somebody make that up just to be a smart-ass? I mean, antibiotics I understand—pesticides for the body, they slide down your throat and napalm anything in sight until every germ is exterminated. But when did everybody and his ugly sister start popping ...
