NEW YORK—Ever since his setback before the Supreme Court, I’ve been walking around New York City looking for inviting mud puddles where the Dusky Gopher Frog might be temporarily relocated for some wild dusky gopher sex. Sex tourism is not what it used to be—Plato’s Retreat and other famous ...
DALLAS—Not long ago, at a little horror convention in New Jersey, I hosted interviews with some of the most famous stunners in B-movie history—all of the beauties from the Hammer films of the ’50s, ’60s, and ’70s—but the woman everyone wanted to see that day was a veteran character ...
DALLAS—Whoever took the photo of the Covington Catholic High School kid holding that painful smile during the face-down with the Omaha tribal elder at the Lincoln Memorial should receive the Pulitzer Prize and the photograph itself should go into the Smithsonian Institution as a portrait of ...
NEW YORK—Okay, the easiest solution to this whole college admissions controversy is to send all the applications to me and I’ll go through them and tell you which students should go to Harvard and which students should go to Texas A&M and which students should go to Agnes Scott College and ...
NEW YORK—Well, the neo-Puritans have struck again. A few weeks ago my old friend Nina Hartley was blogging about how she’d just spent a pleasant couple of days in La Crosse, Wisconsin. She wrote about a little weeknight talk she gave to 70 students at the university there, but mostly her ...
NEW YORK—My only conversation with Herb Kelleher happened in the mid-’70s, before he was famous, when he hunted me down through my editor at Texas Monthly magazine to find out how I felt about the emergency landing in Waco. I had been on a Southwest Airlines flight from San Antonio to ...
NEW YORK—The journalists are furious. (For those of you just tuning in, I don’t defame the reputations of real reporters and newsmen with the froufrou French word. I’m only talking about the posers.) As I say, the journalistes are furious. They’re furious because Trump has nominated ...
DALLAS—What if the country shut down and nobody gave a flip? Entering day 6 of “The United States Is Closed,” I’m not seeing much evidence of panic or, for that matter, interest. The most likely citizens to get their panties in a bunch—literally—are families who picked this week ...
KATY, Tex.—The most amazing thing about Federal Judge Pamela Chen’s ruling on Monday that nunchakus are a legal weapon in America is that they’ve been illegal in New York State for the past 44 years. She was striking down a law from nineteen fricking seventy-four! First of all, nunchakus, ...
NEW YORK—Everyone’s talking about the article in the Huffington Post that has shown us the racism, homophobia, child abuse, bullying, sexism, and exploitation of the handicapped that lie at the bigoted heart of the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Christmas special, but I don’t think it goes ...
