I don’t want to come off as lacking empathy, even though I do indeed lack empathy. The assassination of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson is reassuring. Not because he deserved to die. Certainly he didn’t. And not because it’s cool to make a political statement by murdering someone. It ...
Ah, the most wonderful time of the year! In 2024 Christmas Day coincides with the first day of Hanukkah. And for you far-rightists, you know what that means: Christian children ripping open presents, Jews ripping open Christian children (the preceding was a paid message from the Candace Owens ...
You need to start taking semen more seriously. As in, not wanting to ingest it. Unless, of course, that’s your thing. But enough about Nick Fuentes. An unfortunately common type of story in the news these days involves food delivery drivers defiling orders with everything from spit to ...
The thing that made Kamala’s cackle so irritating was that she’d do it when nobody else in the room was laughing. “I know, right? It’s hilarious, RIGHT? Guh-GLACK-guh-GLACKLE!” but nobody else was with her on the joke. From a comedy perspective, it’s fine to laugh at a joke that the ...
I have a question for MAGA following Trump’s blowout victory against a cackling cretinous curry-stained flesh-and-blood Thalia mask: How could it have happened? According to the rule you’ve lived by for four years, a rule that made you storm the Capitol, assault cops, destroy property, and, in ...
Our long national nightmare is over. Or is it just starting? I’m writing this at 5 a.m. on the 6th. A few postelection notes; nothing heavy. Angel George Floyd earns his hot wings Thanks to the fentanyl-fueled check kite-flyer, the Dems forced Biden to choose a black woman for his VP in 2020. ...
Having a column that runs Monday/Tuesday means I’m forever doomed to post the evening before/day of elections. And today? You’re on edge. Everyone is. So I’ll take my cue from Sting, January 19, 1991. He had the unenviable task of hosting SNL right as the Desert Storm ground offensive began ...
Remember Charles Rothenberg? Hopefully not, as it’s a most unpleasant memory. In the early 1980s, Rothenberg was locked in a bitter custody dispute with his wife, Marie, over their 6-year-old son David. Charles and Marie lived in New York. Rothenberg had visitation rights, but he was convinced ...
You think I enjoy talking about Hitler? Like, I have some bizarre fetish for the guy? Believe me, it annoys me as much as it does you. I’m fatigued by it. But, for better or worse (spoiler: worse), we’re neck-deep in Hitler this election, with a half-dozen GOP candidates (not fringies but ...
Sometimes it’s beneficial to break down a bad argument. To dissect it, deconstruct it, disassemble it. Get to the heart of why it stinks. To put it more crassly, a dog turd looks bad enough on your front lawn. But bring it in the house, chop it up, examine it under a microscope? It looks much ...
