January 14, 2011
Oh, my God. More than white chicks say, “like.” You hear that every second word in the hall. I don”t allow it in my class, but I don”t think people realize how benign it is to these kids. It’s like “dude.” In fact, it’s even less specific than that, because young girls will say it about other young girls as in, “Is my nigga Neveah still there?” Nigga means “person” to them. Not to me, though. And they respect that.
Sounds like they just think it’s some weird tic you have. Like you banned the word “the.”
Almost. They know white people hate the word, but I”m not sure they get why. In my class they just switch it out with nayba or ninja. “Wassup, my ninja?”
The slang must be almost impossible to keep up with.
Remember that whole debate about Ebonics? There was some merit to that. Of course you”re not going to teach it. That’s nuts, but knowing what these kids are talking about is very important. You need to communicate with them. And when I pull their slang into a lesson, they go nuts. It also makes them want to learn my “slang,” which is just proper English. I had this one kid checking dictionary.com’s word of the day and he actually told me a homework assignment was “nefarious.” He pronounced it wrong, but I was still really proud.
Gimme more Ebonics.
Well, it changes every month or so. And there are guys who are responsible for it in the school. If you can get a word into the local vernacular, you”re a star.
Yes? Come on, out with it.
All right, all right. Lemme see… “You mad dusty and I heard you buns” means “Your clothes are old and you”re soft, like a hot-dog bun.”…”She’s Mona” means she’s beautiful like the Mona Lisa. “Leafy” means he was scared, which comes from “shaking like a leaf.” It’s like Cockney, really. The English call us “Septics,” which comes from “Septic Tank,” which rhymes with “Yank” as in “Yankee.” I”m like a Cockney teacher trying to get Cockney kids interested in learning.
So you teach in Ebonics?
Sort of, but not really. I use it as a tool to pique their interest. Montessori schools do the same thing. That’s their whole philosophy. If a kid is into sharks, they do the math about sharks. If he’s into trains, the literature he’s assigned is train-related.
I don”t know if you remember being 13, but school can be really boring when it’s all stuff you don”t care about. If I was going to talk about the Duke of Windsor, for example, I”d tell them he was “dipped in fresh” because he dressed well. Now they want to hear more.
The poor dress well in 2011, don”t they? Remember when Archie Bunker said he was called “Shoe-Booty” in school because he could only afford one shoe and one boot?
I don”t remember that one but yes, even the poorest kids in my class dress better than me. They look “crispy burnt,” which is about as good as you can get. Bacon is big with clothing descriptions. If you look “greasy,” that’s pretty good, but you want to be as “crisp” as possible, ideally burnt.
You”re starting to make it sound fun.
Every day I come home, I say to my wife, “You are not going to believe this.” For example, we were just doing a series of classes on sexual reproduction and when I ask a kid to define it he says, “That’s when a man and a woman do they business and the woman goes, “Oh, snap!””
Which, technically, isn”t incorrect.
It’s lacking some scientific specifics, but he’s on the right track. My kids aren”t dumb by any means. In fact, they”re really quick. I was talking about To Kill a Mockingbird recently and the need for fairness, and we got into the difference between a need and a right, and when I asked a kid to explain he goes, “Well, Mr. T, you definitely need to go get your ass some Just For Men but I”m not sure it’s your right,” and everyone was hysterical. Even I was laughing.
You let them get away with that? I mean, you are graying a bit on the sides.
You have to draw the line sometimes, but my job is to take that adolescent energy and not let the class turn into a zoo. We get into it. It’s like a workout. And they like it.
What do you think of all these New York Times liberals pushing diversity in schools when they would never consider sending one of their kids to your school?
Honestly, I don”t have time to think about that kind of stuff. I come home and spend time with my family and then I crash. Then it’s “on to the next one,” as Jay-Z would say. I”ve got too much to do to be discussing things over coffee. In fact, I kind of have to go right now.
