Jerusalem

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I’ve no next of kin. When I die, I have no idea what’s gonna happen to my house. Not that I don’t have a plan: After I stroke out on my bedroom floor, my corpse will putrefy and the stank will be absorbed into the floorboards, so when Persians buy my house for a song, they’ll soon realize that the master bedroom is permanently soaked with eww de Dave.

I don’t believe in ghosts, but I do think there are ways a dead motherfucker can haunt a house.

So here’s a question for Palestinian fanboys: Let’s say I decide to leave my house to “the rightful owners of muh lah-yund,” the people from whom the “lah-yund” was stolen.

Who gets named in the will?

If you think all “stollen land” should be returned, what group should be the beneficiary of my pricey Westside dirt?

The Tongva? That’s the Injun tribe that lived here in hunter-gatherer times. But they never developed the dirt; they just fought bears and danced around going ugh-amugh-ugh.

Then their lah-yund was taken by the Spanish, who were the first to bring European-style “civilization” to the place. Then they got kicked out by the leaders of the very nation they spawned, the Mexicans, who declared formal ownership of California…only to get their asses kicked in the Mexican-American War. Cali was taken from them through violence! A violation of international law!

So who gets my house? Who’s the rightful owner? Do I leave it to the Tongva Nation, the government of Spain, or the government of Mexico?

If “stollen land” must be returned to the rightful owner, who’s the rightful owner in my case? Here I am, at my attorney Shmuelly Krinkelblitzen’s office on Rodeo Drive, and I gotta choose a beneficiary.

Tell me, Buford…what do I write?

If you can’t answer that question, then perhaps your knee-jerkism regarding “give them akbars back thar lah-yund” arises not from a sincere desire to see old wrongs righted, but from something much darker.

Far-rightists are exceptionally easy to read, and much of the hatred expressed by the far-right toward Israel comes from pure envy.

“Israel gets a wall! Why can’t we have a wall?”

“In Israel, Jews get to carry guns everywhere! Why can’t we carry guns everywhere?”

“Israel deports African illegals. Why can’t we do that?”

The current sight of Israel kicking the living shit out of browner, dumber, uncivilized, pathologically violent border transgressors births a fire in the far-right belly, an anger that Israelis are getting to do what rightists would love to be able to do here. I mean, where else in the world today but Israel do intelligent lighter-skinned people get to beat the crap out of ignorant darker-skinned people? Israel is the last white-ish nation on earth where it’s okay to actively hate the darker-skinned, and not just take an eye for an eye, but take out an entire neighborhood for an eye.

American rightists get angry—understandably—by seeing their president and Congress cheer Israelis as they do shit that’s forbidden to American whites. Daquan rapes and murders your grandma, and even your own Republican congressman yells at you if you call him an animal or demand vengeance. You have to shut up and watch a judge give Daquan a light sentence because 1619! Meanwhile, that same congressman cheers Israel: “You have a right to defend yourself against those dusky animals who harmed you! Kill! Kill! Kill!”

I understand the frustration. You want to lash out, which leads to the retards of TPUSA and Groyperville sharing viral videos of Alex Jones begging “the Jews” to “let us do what you do! Give us control of our country! Stop keeping us down while you allow your own people to do the things you forbid us from doing!”

And now, unintentionally, you’ve become Daquan. You see Jews as blacks see whites: one big-ass conspiracy of oppressors. That Alex Jones video, which has garnered millions of views on Twitter over the past weeks, is pure insanity (it’s a cobbled-together clip, so I’m not sure if it accurately reflects Jones’ views; what matters for this discussion is how rightists are presenting it). Jones acts like there’s one central Jew who can end the white man’s torment with the flip of a switch, as if the “shut it down” meme is not a joke but political reality.

As it’s Halloween, I’ll invoke a horror film. The 1982 misfire Halloween III was written by a Brit, Nigel Kneale, who didn’t realize that, unlike in the U.K., American television stations aren’t government-owned. So at the end of the film, the lead character calls “the number” to have “the bureau of television” take all channels off the air at once. It’s a ludicrous ending, based on the writer’s ignorance of how the U.S. TV industry works.

The gist of that Jones video, that you can ask “the bureau of Jews” to stop the torment, is equally reality-detached.

But this time it’s not a movie; it’s idiots playing retard for real.

And again, I get it. It’s a time of terrible frustration. The border’s wide open, millions of Third Worlders are flipping you the bird as they flood in, American blacks are shielded from consequences as they kill your kin, and even the GOPs who are supposedly “on your side” are letting you down.

Yeah, if I were you, I’d be tempted to check out of reality and be like Jones and look for “the Jew” who can call it all off. It’s not any worse than thinking Trump is still president and everything since 2020 has been a brilliant op to expose the Deep State.

Just one more thing to detach the right from reality, dull its effectiveness, and hasten the nation’s decline.

That said, there’s no “King Jew” who can help you. Yes, Jews have always been disproportionately prominent in leftism. But, as I wrote in a column seven years ago, American leftism is at the point now where it’s got a life of its own. College-educated suburban white women are just as much of a menace as Jews (maybe more so). Blacks? Their electoral menace is a given. And Asians? Blacks can beat them senseless—rape their grandmas so hard their ancestors bleed anally—and they’ll still vote Soros.

Speaking of Soros, this whole “give us what you allow yourselves in Israel, Jews” thing ignores the fact that America’s leftist Jews don’t care much for Israel at all (and in Israel itself, leftist Jews despise Netanyahu, or have you missed the, what, 500 attempts to indict him?). Soros despises Israel. He’s a civilization-destroying atheist who sees Israel as too civilized to exist. Soros disciple Mairav Zonszein, who writes for Daily Beast, WaPo, NY Times, and NPR, cheered Hamas’ Oct. 7 slaughter, claiming that the terrorists scored a great victory: “It’s an undisputed fact that Hamas has single-handedly put the Palestinian issue back on the global agenda.” In 2017, Zonszein penned a Times piece bemoaning how Israel has “declared war on George Soros” for his funding of anti-Israel groups. And just last week, the NY Post revealed that Soros has been funding global anti-Israel protests, just as he funded BLM protests.

Now, that’s the fact of it. But once rightists set down the “all Jews are of one mind and I demand they give me my country back” path, in order to preserve the illusion it becomes necessary to deny all realities that challenge that illusion. So if you mention Soros’ anti-Israelism, illusion-obsessed rightists respond, “He’s faking it! They’re all in it together, a hive mind in cahoots! Any disputes within Judaism are just for show; crisis actors with pretend feuds to fool the goyim.”

And again, away from reality you drift, rendering yourself ever more ineffective, ever more counterproductive.

And when anyone tries to speak sense on the issue, they’re dismissed as shills, cucks, “hasbara,” or, if they’re Jewish, traitors whose only loyalty is to “the tribe” (that’s the gist of every DM I got after last week’s column, even though I wasn’t saying anything I hadn’t said in multiple past columns here and here).

If you truly want to be “America First” regarding Gaza and Israel, if you genuinely want to be like Alex Jones and say, “I ain’t against Jews, but I’m worried about my own nation,” then the most important thing you can do is mind your own sanity. As I wrote in a recent column, the right’s obsession with IQ obscures the fact that people who are not necessarily dumb can tarderize themselves, and a movement, or a party, can tarderize itself even if it’s composed of “big-brained whites.” The risk to the right of Gaza fanboying has nothing to do with foreign policy but rather letting in a craziness, exactly what you see with TPUSA going “ZOG” and rightists furiously retweeting Jones’ “let us control our country, Jews” video.

A friend of mine called me out on my claim in last week’s column that Palis need to accept the fact that they lost a war and move on. My buddy tweeted “Isn’t Israel itself the result of Jews refusing to accept that they lost a war to the Romans 2,000 years ago? I mean, if you wanna talk about not being able to let shit go, Jews win the prize. If the Jews refused to take the L, why should the Palestinians?”

The difference is, in the 1930s and ’40s Zionists saw a clear path to victory. In part via strategy, in part via the nature of the British overlords of the territory, in part via brute force, and in part via unforeseen circumstances (Hitler served an eviction notice on all European Jews, creating a tsunami of refugees). The Zionists saw an opening and went for it. And they won. But today there’s no Pali path to victory. There simply isn’t. There’s just continued year-after-year suicidal pokes at a tiger they can’t kill.

Should a path to victory open…should, say, a Tay-Sachs mutation wipe out half the Jews of Israel, I’d fully expect Palis to seize the opportunity and exploit the advantage. That’s fair. But when you have no path to victory, when you just keep inflicting misery on yourself and others, that’s inexcusably stupid.

And it was my friend’s question that helped me see the through line between Palis and MAGAs. Why there’s a kind of kinship there, even if unrecognized. What was J6 if not a bunch of hotheads with no path to victory, indeed, no idea of how they could even possibly achieve victory, suicidally marching into defeat and then whining when the winners showed them no mercy?

Championing the Pali cause exacerbates the worst of MAGA. Failure to understand the destructiveness of futile gestures, and the embrace of reality detachment, be it Q, Moloch, “stollen election,” or Jones’ magical Jew with the “off switch.”

In the end, what matters is how these things corrupt American minds.

In the end, it ain’t about Jew. It’s about you.