December 24, 2010
6. GEORGIA CONGRESSMAN THINKS ISLANDS CAN CAPSIZE
The fact that we have someone in office who thinks Guam will tip over if we send over too many soldiers is…spellbinding. What else does he not know? Do we have to watch what we say about Santa around him?
7. ALVIN GREENE
Greene is unique in that his very existence is a cosmic mistake. Every word that comes out of his mouth, from threatening to sue the press for interviewing him to saying he’s running for president, every decision from making action figures of himself to showing college students pornos, is a mistake. Even his green T-shirt is a mistake.
8. SARAH PALIN THINKS WE LIKE NORTH KOREA
Palin-bashing is usually a Hollywood liberal feeding frenzy rooted in contempt for the average American, but come on. She said we have to stand by our North Korean allies. Can you imagine saying that even after 1,000 beers?
9. “RENT IS TOO DAMN HIGH” GUY
Besides the endless comedic opportunities this guy provided SNL, the best part about the “Rent Is Too Damn High” guy is that HE HASN”T PAID RENT IN TEN YEARS! I”m no math buff, but if you think zero is a lot, you”re no math buff.
10. A VERY BASIL MARCEAUX CHRISTMAS
This Southern gubernatorial hopeful became popular after crushing Alvin Greene in the WTF? category by declaring himself Tennessee’s next governor live and on-camera while under the obvious influence of Down syndrome.
Most recently however, he blessed us with a Christmas song that is so bad, it’s left many wondering if he’s in on the joke:
So we should all learn this Christmas season that Democrats, Republicans, liberals, conservatives, and libertarians are all one people, united, under God, indivisible, and ruled by the absolute bottom of the human barrel.
A toast to all of us and some phlegm for all of them. Merry Christmas to our Jewish friends, and Happy Hanukkah to everyone else.
