June 19, 2015
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An Asian dude walks into a bar. “Pour me a jigger, nigger,” he says to the black bartender. “Come on, man,” the bartender responds, “that’s not cool.” The Asian ain”t havin” it. “Oh, fuck off,” he says indignantly, motioning for his drink. The bartender continues, “No, seriously, how would you like it if you worked here and people spoke to you like that?” The Asian laughs and says, “I wouldn”t give a shit.” The bartender is getting angry now. “Oh, yeah?” he says. “Why don”t you put on this apron and try it?” The Asian says, “I”d love to,” and happily marches behind the bar where he dons the apron as the bartender heads outside to return as a patron. Immediately after, the black bartender struts into the bar exactly as his friend just did and cheerily calls out, “Pour me a drink, Chink!” The Asian bartender has his head down as he scrubs the counter with a bar towel. “Ahem,” the black bartender says, raising his voice, “I said, pour me a drink, Chink!” The Asian appears surprised as he looks up. “Oh, sorry. We don”t serve niggers in here.”
It’s one of my dad’s favorite jokes, but the only way to tell it today is to check to see if the coast is clear first. The coast is rarely clear in comedy these days as racial epithets, rape, homosexuality, and everything else funny have become verboten. However, there is hope. While alternative comics have been bitching for years about the end of comedy, especially stand-up comedy, the mainstream is finally clueing in. Almost-billionaire Jerry Seinfeld recently told ESPN that PC is ruining comedy. “I hear a lot of people tell me, “Don”t go near colleges. They”re so PC.”” he told Colin Cowherd, before adding, “[Students] just want to use these words: “That’s racist;” “That’s sexist;” “That’s prejudice.” They don”t know what the fuck they”re talking about.” He later doubled down and told Seth Meyers it’s starting to affect his own, squeaky-clean comedy. The example he used was criticizing people who are always on their phones scrolling upward in fey sweeping motions like a “gay French king.” This joke bombs because it’s now homophobic to criticize imaginary monarchs. Welcome aboard, Jerry. As Colin Quinn said on Don Lemon’s show last week, “It’s been like that for 20 years.” Here are nine more comedians saying their profession is under siege. I remember hearing Dave Attell back in 2004 say the entire genre was dead. Jim Norton is another who’s been warning us about the death of jokes for at least a decade.
We are now becoming so unified on this front, the PC holdouts are exposing themselves as the humorless bummers they truly are. Hopelessly liberal demagogue Alex Wagner asked if Seinfeld is just “out of touch” while the supremely dull Annie Lowry rolled her eyes because “you know, he’s a billionaire” (women aren”t great at math). The Young Turks is always a great place to watch the Left flounder, and some vapid cow over there is still clinging to the war on fun, claiming we can”t laugh until we learn “who is saying it” and “what is the context.” Sounds hilarious. I”m guessing sexual intercourse with her also involves a litany of disclaimers and permission points.
