April 01, 2014
I’m surprised Wilson hasn”t yet been virtually gang raped by “intactivists,” those odd fellows campaigning for the abolition of circumcision when they aren”t practicing “manual tugging routines” to restore their schlongs to mint condition. After all, Wilson’s pocket penis only comes in “cut,” at least for now. #FORESKINIST!!
For once, I”m the one who needs to lighten up. “Bring Your Dick To the Table” is basically a cross between a naughty milagro and a Pet Rock”a Pet Cock, as it were. It’s a cute, kind of clever novelty item. Women complain about men who “think with their little head”; I should stop overthinking about one.
Would I purchase one, though? Nope. Contra Freud, I”ve never, even briefly, wished I”d been born with a penis. Nor would I want to be a man for a day, just to see what it was like.
Pampered first world women have very little to actually complain about, but that doesn’t stop them, as I’ve said before.
Yet consider this: A few years ago, copywriting guru “James Chartrand” revealed that he was a she. No, this isn”t another tedious tranny tale; as a struggling freelance writer, she began applying for gigs using that male name”changing nothing else about the way she conducted business, mind you”and her income skyrocketed overnight. She also “received fewer requests for revisions”often none at all,” and far more compliments and referrals.
This happened in this century, not the previous one, or the one before that.
Why? Partly because”sorry, my fellow ladies”too many of you ruin it for the rest of us. Wilson admits that her encounter with that dodgy gallery owner left her shaking and tearful, and indeed, lots of females are perpetual emotion machines who, however bright and talented, are too much work to work with.
Plus, women wordsmiths in particular notoriously undercharge and underdeliver, which makes life harder for serious working stiffs like me.
I don’t know what will fix that, but it probably isn’t a peck of pocket peckers. That’s just nutty.
