Tina Brown

Most of us Westerners are a happy bunch despite our countries being wracked by debt, rising prices, and job losses. Still, I know 4,700 people with no sense of humor whatsoever. I refer to those hardy souls who complained to the BBC concerning on-air remarks about shooting the strikers. What made me laugh out loud was Ed Miliband posing as Labour leader rather than the human biohazard he really is, complaining in his nasal monotone about how the remarks were disgraceful and disgusting. Miliband might have a British passport, but he looks awfully foreign to me, like a Transylvanian bloodsucker.

He sure doesn’t have a Brooklyn sense of humor—unlike that old queen Brian Sewell, profiled in The Spectator by Freddy Gray. Sewell claims to have bedded 1,000 men over a period of five years, which I suppose is easier if you’re Josephine rather than Napoleon. Still, his remarks about phonies such as Tracey Emin, Damien Hirst, and Anish Kapoor are right-on, which means those three untalented freaks will soon also be complaining.

Victimhood is de rigueur in today’s politically correct culture. Take, for example, a real outrage—aid for Africa to fight so-called “climate change.” It is beyond belief that as Britain teeters on bankruptcy and cuts pensions, the usual claptrap is being bandied around and one billion pounds are supposedly on their way to that unhappy continent. How many Range Rovers does one billion pounds buy? How many yachts, how many large houses on the Riviera or in Switzerland? Because that’s where the billion pounds will end up, and I’ll perform a sex act on Brian Sewell if it doesn’t.

And what about those bullies blustering about the euro and having summit after summit to try and save it? I have it on impeccable sources that most of these summits consist of EU biggies having nonstop sex with animals—mostly goats and donkeys, depending on the summit’s location. Some of the pictures I have seen are hilarious, although the ASPCA would not be best pleased. The image of that fellow Barroso underneath a Greek donkey could be straight out of the scene in The Odyssey when the great Ithacan escaped yet one more monster on his way to Penelope’s loving arms. The EU biggies keep jerking us off as if we were a bunch of donkeys—which they also do during summits if there are donkeys around.