Catherine Palace, St. Petersburg

Another thing the West cannot abide with is Russia’s turn toward Christianity since the collapse of Godless communism. Our elite view this as a backward step, Christianity being their favorite whipping boy nowadays. The big corporations, of course, are anti-Russian and anti-Putin because they’re refused total access to the land’s mineral wealth and natural resources. Russia is not Guatemala and does not sell her lands to Western investors. The big crooks, as in oligarchs, are already settled in the West, Britain, France, and Israel. They stole everything they could, bought football teams, laundered their moolah, and are now our problem, not Russia’s. We bow and scrape to these barbarians the way we bow and scrape in front of the Saudis and Qataris, camel drivers who should never be allowed on European soil because of their human-rights violations back home against minorities, women, gays, and foreign workers. Yet it’s Putin who wears the black hat.

Oh yes, I almost forgot: Baroness Ashton, the EU’s foreign minister, I believe—although like in all cons the EU uses different phrasing—is pissed off that Putin is leaning on Ukraine to stop it from listening to the EU’s siren song. Russia is a great power and is looking out for her interests. How dare she? Let’s face it. The EU is the greatest con ever perpetrated, as is the hypocrisy involved in the Winter Olympics and Sochi. As of this writing, the Games have been a great success and all the naysayers have been proved wrong.

Next week I will be Émile Zola—without the talent—and tell you about how class warfare and the British judicial system have railroaded a member of the aristocracy in a manner reminiscent of the Soviet Union.