Roger Federer

Now about the disgusting one and why he should take a powder sooner rather than sickening us even more than he has up to now. Anthony Weiner, running for mayor of New York City, resigned his Congressional seat a couple of years ago when caught texting pictures of his willy to numerous women. Politicians are not known for their dignity, and the paronomastic Weiner and the very concept of dignity were and are poles apart. He is a very ugly man to begin with, so I’d hate to imagine the horror contained in those pictures he proudly texted to those unlucky women recipients. Not even two years went by before Weiner was back in the news, declaring his run for mayor and in no time at all leading the motley field. His spiel was that mortification at what he’d done had made him a new man. When I read about it I instantly lifted the cuffs of my trousers in a Pavlovian reaction at not getting them dirty with the bull—-t. Now I’m glad I did. Weiner was caught doing it again and again and again as women emerged from the filth that’s the Internet exposing him as a habitual flasher and some other things I cannot mention in the elegant pages of my own organ, no pun intended.

This time, however, Weiner has not resigned but has compared himself to Nelson Mandela and FDR. No, he has not said that they went around sending pictures of their private parts to women. Instead he asked, “Would they have been so great had they not had those obstacles?” He was referring to prison in Mandela’s case and polio in FDR’s. So being flung into prison for speaking out or being afflicted with polio are the same as sending pictures of one’s aroused organ according to the most disgusting man in the great city of New York. Go figure, as they say, and if you’re a woman recipient, reach for the cleavers, says I. If anyone deserves castration it has to be Weiner, but then we are a tolerant society, and his wife does work as a gofer for ghastly Hillary Clinton, and she does happen to be a Muslim and we do have to be careful about that, as well as of Weiner being Jewish, and if he manages to discover an African-American connection then his problems are over and he will be forever known as His Honor.

Quit while you’re ahead has always been my motto, but I haven’t always followed it. I was a very bad frontrunner in tennis because rules do not permit one to quit when ahead. As the great Yogi Berra stipulated, it’s not over ’til it’s over, and for me tennis took much too long to be over. One needs to concentrate for long periods, which never suited my personality. Karate and judo are over in a jiffy; hence they’re my favorite pursuits. Weiner has been around for much too long. If he gets to be mayor I swear I’m moving to Qatar. Either that, or I will start keeping company with Tamara Ecclestone and her ilk.