December 20, 2014

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Another good tip is to flirt with the girlfriend of the one resisting you. Not too much, just enough to allow her (the object of your affection) to go further. Be thoughtful, be yourself, be passionate, be light and funny. Do all of the above and it will guide you to Nirvana.

Which brings me to the ultimate weapon for seducing a woman, the written word. Desire in a woman has many faces—she can be moved by a smile, an image, a phrase—but nothing moves her more than a declaration of love. Even from a stranger.

Saying it out loud does not work, at least for the kind of woman I like to pick up. Forty years or so ago I wrote to one resisting me the following: “Dear X. There’s a marvelous line in Romeo and Juliet when Romeo, having avenged Mercutio’s death, is advised to flee Verona. ‘But Heaven’s here, where Juliet lives,’ he cries. However sudden this may sound, or corny, this is how I’ve felt about you since the moment I met you last night. Love, Taki.” It worked.

Repetition dilutes the meaning, and after the original success, I overdid it. There are hundreds of these letters getting yellower by the minute, and someone even suggested that the original one could be worth a lot, but never mind. The R&J letter, as I call it, is the artillery to soften up the target. When it’s nice and soft, the cavalry charges with the following: “Heaven without you would be too much to bear, and hell would not be hell if you were there.” If she can resist that one, give up and stop wasting your and her time.

Having said all that, I am the man who failed miserably where the deputy editor of the Spectator is concerned, and that’s because women, thank God, are above all unpredictable. Have a very happy Christmas and New Year.

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