August 15, 2014
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By noon, the sun is oppressively intense and you can”t wear much more than your underwear and boots (some go nude). This is dangerous because the blackflies and mosquitoes are so dense, they look like clouds of smoke. The amount of DDT you”d need to keep them off would give you cancer, so, after a base tan, most planters just smother themselves in vegetable oil. The bugs stick to your skin and drown in such high numbers you look like you”re wearing full-body fishnet stockings. If you take a shit, they cover your ass and scrotum and the itching from being bit in such unusual places drives you insane. When you eat a sandwich, it’s half bugs. After a while, you don”t even notice them and will casually eat blackflies off the windscreen if you”re lucky enough to ride in the foreman’s truck (one in three taste like raspberries, the others just taste like potatoes). To this day, a millipede can crawl over my foot and I”ll just stare at it like it’s a casual friend on his way to work. I am immune to creepy crawlies.
While suffering, I saw how my boss’s business worked. He promoted me to foreman and we bid on contracts together. I learned how incompetent the government is as the Ministry of Natural Resources would consistently give us just over whatever rating we needed to not get fired.
I barely made enough to stay alive as a bike messenger, and tree planting went from $1,500 my first season to about $7,000 my last. The lessons I learned from all these jobs, however, were invaluable. I was taught the basics: Starting a new business means you are broke for two years. You have to take out the garbage and do your own taxes. Entrepreneurs aren”t awarded a team on day one. They are the team. You have to spend all night sitting at your desk working on a proposal that most likely won”t happen. I have no problem doing this because most offices are climate controlled. No matter how hard things get, I think, “Oh well, at least bugs aren”t crawling up my ass.”
This is why it is so crucial that young people work. It provides them the economic libido they need to survive in the real world. We have evolved to derive pleasure from our accomplishments, no matter how small. The ones who don”t have this trait are extinct. By usurping this natural joy from our children we are denying them self-worth and that’s a form of child abuse. The only thing crueler than saddling a kid with debt and a useless degree is teaching him he’s too good for a shitty job.
