January 12, 2011
Dear Delphi,
I am a 40-year-old man and about six years ago I told my then-girlfriend to abort our unborn child, which she did. Now I would really like to find someone and become a father. I feel like I lost my chance, but more than that I feel really guilty about telling my ex to get an abortion. I feel like it is my entire fault. Should I call her and tell her I made a mistake and am sorry”maybe that would generate some good karma?
“Dumb Daddy in Dunkirk
Dear Dumb Daddy in Dunkirk,
I understand you think this is all your fault and you want to make up for it somehow. Unfortunately, there is no way to make up for it unless you”ve mastered time travel. You made what you now think was a mistake, and you have to accept it and try to move on. However, you also have to accept that it was not all your fault unless your ex-girlfriend wanted the baby but you refused her the money she”d need to raise it.
If she wanted the baby and had means of supporting it by herself or with family help, she could have kept it. Abortion is the woman’s decision, as it should be. A man has the luxury to walk away from a child and a family at any point if he so desires.
Sure, call her and tell her how you feel, but don”t think it will somehow magically change your present predicament.
Dear Delphi,
I really want to buy one of those fake Fendi bags on the street because I can”t spare the money to buy the real thing. I cannot make up my mind about whether it is in bad taste or not to walk around with a wannabe bag. Any thoughts?
“The entire concept of buying expensive material goods just to show your neighbors, colleagues, and friends that you can”that is bad taste.”“Bag Blues in Berlin
Dear Bag Blues in Berlin,
Why not? If you like the bag, buy the bag. So what if it is fake? So what if you can”t afford the real thing? That is not a sin or in bad taste. The entire concept of buying expensive material goods just to show your neighbors, colleagues, and friends that you can”that is bad taste.
As long as you don”t buy it with the intention of passing it off as the real thing because all your friends have a real one, i.e., becoming as fake as the bag and telling people, “Oh, look at my new bag, I am so excited, I bought it with my Christmas bonus,” I don”t foresee any problems.
