Vladimir Putin

There are now too many events included in the Olympics that are more suited to a circus, with the Flying Wallendas and elephants juggling balls, than on the slopes. The hysterical BBC announcers were also at times rather pathetic. Screaming and calling the curlers “heroes” is a bit over the top. Curling is a nice pastime, reminiscent of those dance contests back in Idaho where couples have to hold up a potato between their necks. Soon we will have Olympic events involving athletes trying to survive manmade avalanches. Slope-style snowboard and cross-country skiing are too extreme and the ramps and jumps much too dangerous. The Americans love it because they sell clothes and fancy equipment to go with such gimmicks. Last year the IOC’s ruling committee tried to do away with Greco-Roman wrestling, one of the oldest sports in the world, and include an event that requires a lot of money and equipment. All one needs in Greco-Roman is a jock strap. I suspect feminists had a lot to do with it. They should stick to mud wrestling in Vegas and leave the Olympics to me.

Last but not least, Obama should be ashamed of himself. He should have attended Sochi or at least dispatched the useless bullshitter Joe Biden to make up for the head delegate of the American team, the professional lesbian and former tennis player Billie Jean King. Turning Putin into a boogeyman plays well back home, where AIPAC next week will deliver 14,000 supporters of Likud to Washington who will blanket Capitol Hill and tell Congress how to vote or else. And worse, Putin now has the 200 mechanized divisions of Ashton and Barroso to deal with. The EU army makes Nazi Germany’s seem puny. Poor old Vlad.