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Trump’s been called “Hitler” for, what, nine years now? And always unfairly. Even with the dude’s many (many) faults, he’s not Hitler.

And in my nine years of covering Trump in this column, I’ve always been quick to slam the Hitler analogies.

Well, congratulations, J.D. Vance, for finally giving me a Hitler analogy I can go with. And in the last lap of an election, no less.

The Haitian cat-eating thing is so imbecilic, I get angry just thinking about it. You have immigrant criminals raping, killing, and assaulting Americans in documented attacks—hundreds of ’em—all across the country. Real incidents, with real dead people, real grieving families, and real perps.

And what has MAGA done? What have Trump and Vance chosen? To send us on a wild-goose chase to back up Trump’s cat-eating claims, once again making everything about riding to Trump’s rescue instead of riding an issue to victory.

This is a MAGA specialty: deploying side skirmishes to distract from winning issues.

It’s the most bizarre thing I’ve seen in a lifetime of observing politics. Typically, politicians distract from issues on which they’re soft. Only MAGAs distract from issues on which they’re strong.

I’ve written about it more times than I can recall. From the “Unite the Right” retards in 2017 killing Trump’s momentum by bringing about the totally avoidable “very fine people” side skirmish, to 2022 when Newsom, who has a thousand exploitable liabilities, was instead slammed for blackouts and power grid failures that never occurred, thus creating a side skirmish that favored Newsom because on that one issue he was being truthful (don’t dare hit him on issues where he’s weak), to the “groomer” mess of 2022 in which MAGAs, ineptly trying to defend DeSantis’ commonsense school policies regarding trannyism, shifted the focus to a debate over the definition of groomer and the “fun” of “cheesing off the libs” by calling everyone the “g” word, when the focus should’ve been on DeSantis’ effective school policies.

So now here comes Vance and Catturd and all of rightist Twitter, taking the focus off the human toll of Third World immigrant crime, instead creating yet another side skirmish about whether a Haitian ate a cat. Two weeks ago, Vance tweeted “It’s possible, of course, that all of these [cat-eating] rumors will turn out to be false,” but nevertheless he told his followers to “keep the cat memes coming!”

Unsurprisingly, last week Hillbilly Jim yodeled the quiet part out loud in an interview with CNN’s Dana Bash:

The American media totally ignored this stuff until Donald Trump and I started talking about cat memes. If I have to create stories so that the American media actually pays attention to the suffering of the American people, then that’s what I’m going to do, Dana, because you guys are completely letting Kamala Harris coast.

Get it? The fake stuff’s necessary to put the focus on the real stuff.

And by gum, that put me in a Hitler kinda mood. In the 1920s, before Hitler came to power, he was gifted a book by Ernst Schertel, a German modern dancer, dance troupe director, sexologist, nudist, and occultist.

And yeah, he was friends with Hitler.

Can you imagine the parties those guys threw? Lots of assless, crotchless black leather chaps.

So Schertel gave Hitler an inscribed copy of his book Magic: History, Theory, Practice, and it became one of the future Führer’s most annotated tomes. The copy from Adolf’s library still exists today. And one particular line that fascinated Hitler, to the extent that he highlighted it on the page, was “False images are necessary for the recognition of truth.”

“False images are necessary for the recognition of truth.” That’s not just Vance’s MO, but that of MAGA. Fake memes, made-up conspiracies, clumsily crafted rumors, unfounded charges against opponents—it’s only through spreading false images that we can uncover truth!

How? Well, ask the Underpants Gnomenschen to explain phase 2. All I know is that phase 1 is “lie” and phase 3 is “victory!”

To be crystal clear, I’m not saying Vance is Hitler. But he’s obsessed with the same bullshit principle that Hitler was. And both men are/were wrong. “False images” (in this case, memes about cat-eating) are not necessary when you have more effective real images (immigrant crimes against humans). But I know I’m not gonna be able to convince you of that, and I’ll explain why.

You’re having too much fun.

Too much joy.

The idiotic Democrat party line that Kamala isn’t a bimbo with an annoying Joaquin-Phoenix-as-Joker cackling tic but rather a candidate absorbed in “joy” ain’t foolin’ no one. The “joy” talking point isn’t gonna make anybody who’s put off by her irritating manner stop being irritated. Of more concern to me is the “joy” on the right. Whereas the Dem leaders screaming, “It’s not annoying; it’s joy!” won’t move the needle on the election, your joy might.

With all your wacky cat memes and viral jokes and tweets, you’ve made the immigrant crime issue funny. And by doing so, you’ve robbed it of its power.

Great job. Congrats.

Watch these three Lee Atwater Willie Horton ads (here, here, and here). Did you laugh once? Did they bring you “joy”? Were they wacky?

No. All they did was work.

You don’t fucking make violent crime funny. That MAGAs have to be told that, and that even after having been told, they’ll still do it anyway, lays bare the combination of ignorance and self-indulgence that plagues the movement.

Should Trump lose, which will mean you’ll have Third World criminals coming out of your ass (yeah, even in your beloved RAYD STAYT), may the memory of the “joy” you took from the wacky cat memes bring you comfort as you grieve your raped and murdered daughters.

The truly funny thing is, 1932 Hitler didn’t need “false images.” He and his party had the economy and the threat from the Soviets to run on—both very real issues. Hence why (as I’ve mentioned in previous columns) the anti-Jewish thing was downplayed in the election as “the Nazi Party consciously toned down its antisemitic rhetoric in the early 1930s in order to win over middle-class and bourgeois voters” (Simon Unger-Alvi, Cambridge University Press).

Once dictator Hitler no longer needed to face elections, he could “fake away” because votes were now irrelevant. And his imaginary issues took over.

I hate to remind you guys, but votes are not irrelevant in the U.S. And holy shit has MAGA torpedoed one of its best issues with this idiotic but typical cat-eating side skirmish, a self-indulgent creation of Trump, MAGA Twitter, and out-of-their-league inbreds like Vance.

Accordingly, today’s MAGA-adjacent Nazi influencers have retconned the 1932 German election to make it appear that “meme” issues are what won it for the Nazis. As sieg heiler Stew Peters (651k followers and a bottomless coffer thanks to mega-donors) tweeted last week, “The people of Weimar were pushed to a breaking point, and they broke. That’s why MILLIONS supported the rise of the National Socialists. They did what ANY reasonable people would have done, to save their children from pedophelia and perversion. Pretty simple.”

Forget the economy or Soviet expansion; the Nazis won by shouting “groomer!”

The greatest risk MAGA has taken electorally is letting in, and turning a blind eye to, so many Nazis. First, it’s made Trump appear tame. Trump 2016 was edgy! Dangerous! Fierce! But such things exist on a curve. Trump was like heavy metal. Fuentes, Owens, Peters, Shields are GG Allin. Watch enough Allin, immerse yourself in Allin, and metal will seem tame, even outright gay, by comparison.

The obsession with based, the mindless pursuit of based, makes the semi-based appear tepid. But that’s just cause and effect, which MAGAs understand less than a possum understands Heidegger.

Trump rallies lacking energy? Too many walkouts? The level of excitement and engagement lower than in 2016? Well, sure, dummies. Your embrace of Nazis has made Trump look not just weak but like a sellout. Why, he’s not even talking about Jews drinking baby blood, which according to Candy Owens happens every day!

The MAGA geniuses (including Elon Musk) who were like, “Let’s let in every wacky idea! It cheeses off the libs and upends the establishment,” never considered that once you convince enough people that Jews are prowling the streets every night looking to suck the blood from children, discussion of inflation or sentencing enhancements or amnesty reform seems not just dull but a dodging of “the real issues.”

It’s an inversion: The real issues are dismissed as fake and the fake issues are embraced as real.

And the effect of such madness? All those liberal blue-city white people (mainly women) you see on the news who’ve been assaulted, raped, or robbed of a loved one by immigrants-of-color or native blacks, and who proudly proclaim, “I forgive Assabango or Guanomatica or Daquilious—I hope they get the help they need via counseling, not prison”…well, those whites haven’t lost their sense of justice; it’s just been “detoured.” Those “I forgive Jorge because he has better food” whites do still see villains…just not ones they can see literally. Their hatred has been rerouted from the blacks who kill them to the “one percenters” who “keep the world in poverty.” The “climate criminals and polluters” who are “killing Mother Earth.”

Democrats have hijacked their followers’ natural desire for justice (and vengeance) and redirected it toward invisible entities that exist outside the daily reality, the daily lives, of voters.

Theoretically, Republicans exist to re-ground the crime issue—to undo the leftist damage and refocus voters on the in-person villains who physically threaten them. To stay rooted in corporeal reality, not fancy abstracts. But no…now rightist influencers have done their own rerouting—forget street-level wrongdoing; focus instead on Baron Rothschild and the Elders of Zion!

So the crime issue gets torpedoed by “mainstream” MAGAs who drown us in wacky memes and, in doing so, rob the issue of gravitas, and Nazi MAGAs who are the right-wing version of “ignore what’s in front of you; direct your anger toward unseen foes who are melting the ice caps.”

It’s the ultimate corruption of Steve Sailer’s “noticing,” which was originally intended as “notice what your eyes behold on your own street,” now perverted as “notice patterns in the clouds high above.”

Between the MAGA influencers who only care about the “joy” of kooky viral memes, the extremist ideologues who purposely redirect rightists away from worrying about crime to worrying about the Frankists and Jew vampires, and morons like Vance who take a topic filled with real, provable case studies that impact voters and say, “Naw, I’ll rely on fakes instead because only falsity can put focus on truth,” we see the GOP not just repeating but one-upping Trump 2020’s brilliant plan to own the crime issue by tweeting “law & order” a hundred times over.

And that worked so well, didn’t it?

So glad you’re feeling the “joy.”

Sorry I can’t join in.