Anne Hathaway

Speaking of Hollywood, we had a hell of a scare last week. Madonna was supposed to visit with a friend of mine. Fortunately only Anne Hathaway did, and friends tell me she was as charming and unassuming as she is on screen. I wish there were more Hathaways around, but unfortunately the new Gilded Age seems to produce only horrors. And it has nothing to do with the one of a hundred years ago, when the nouveaux aped their betters and the old guard still commanded respect. Now it’s billionaire nerds that have the upper hand. Last week two nerds made a remark about the bright red trousers I was wearing, and when I answered them rather roughly, they were shocked. I suppose great new wealth now commands great fame, and that in turn commands obsequiousness. Billionaire nerds are now a dime a dozen, starting with that godawful Facebook founder who is as ugly as he’s rich, and he’s very, very rich.

“He who dies with the most toys wins” is a bumper sticker in America, one that fuels ambition and greed. Along with it comes language inflation: Every bald, fat nerd is described as a genius, as charismatic, and as a nonpareil. What utter crap and bullshit. I’ve never met so many charm-free chumps, starting with London-based aristocrats such as Berezovsky and Abramovich.

All last year there were rumors that the owner of Chelsea Football Club had bought a monstrosity of a chalet near me. The sellers spread the rumors to get other suckers interested. Just imagine. It is now a sales point to be able to live near a Russian oligarch. Uriah Heep lives and is doing well in Gstaad, of all places. Many people suffer from celebrophilia. They derive their self-esteem from their proximity to the rich and famous, even if they are crooks and criminals who have beaten the system. Personally, I prefer the Mark Twain way. He stood up to give a speech in front of a large audience, then sat down. After a while he dragged himself to the podium and reportedly told his fans that he was depressed because “Homer is dead, Shakespeare is dead, and I have the flu and feel as if I’m dying.” No nerd he.