California State Capitol

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Did I ever tell you about the time one elderly Nazi took on and beat the entire U.S. government, the neocons, the military-industrial complex, and Israel?

It’s a hell of a tale!

In 1943, at age 16, German patriot Hans Schmidt joined the Waffen SS as a corporal in Division Leibstandarte. Wounded in battle, he was taken prisoner by American troops and held in a POW camp. After the war, he relocated to Chicago, where he became a naturalized citizen, did well in business, and in the 1980s launched a Holocaust denial org called GANPAC—the German-American National Political Action Committee.

Mind you, it was a committee of one, but what’s numbers compared with good old-fashioned German moxie (sorry, machzie)?

Because of his wealth, he was always welcomed at the Holocaust “revisionist” events I attended in the early ’90s. I interviewed him once…not about the Holocaust, but about his wartime experiences (I’d always interview WWII veterans, even the “bad guys”). Of course, he started talking about the Holocaust anyway; poor chap couldn’t help himself.

I never did anything with the footage…I suppose I’ll put it on eBay.

Oh, right, Nazi ban…okay, anyone interested reach out to me on Substack.

Anyway, when the Gulf War started, Schmidt declared in his GANPAC newsletter that the supposed premise of the war, to “liberate Kuwait,” was a false flag. The real purpose was to kill Saddam Hussein. Bush, the neocons, Israel, and Jews everywhere had hatched an elaborate plot to trick Hussein into invading Kuwait in order to give cover to what was essentially a targeted assassination of one man. Sure, millions of American soldiers were about to die, but what’s a few dead grunts to the Rothschilds?

I ran into Schmidt in D.C. a month or so after the war’s successful conclusion. I reminded him that the war had ended with a minimal number of American casualties, and Hussein was still alive. Indeed, not just still alive, but still ruling Iraq.

“Ja,” Schmidt said, stroking his chin, “I expozed zehr plan, so ze Jews had to retreat. I alerted ze worldt und saved Hussein’s life!”

Ain’t that something! Hans Schmidt altered the course of history with his home-printed newsletters!

Now, what lesson can we learn from that little anecdote?

Battling invisible foes on an imaginary battlefield is the easiest war to wage. As a teen, Schmidt fought real-life enemies on a real-world battlefield, and he got his kraut ass kicked. The Allies wiped the floor with him and his kameraden. But now, as an old man, living comfortably, he realized that he could fight larger, more important battles completely in his mind, without leaving the comfort of his home or breaking a sweat.

Do you find Schmidt laughable? Pathetic, even? Well, sorry, folks, but that’s how I view some of you who’ve traded fighting real-world political contests for Tucker’s imaginary “MAGA vs. the invisible CIA world controllers” battlefield.

Yes, this is a continuation of last week’s column.

Imaginary battles are where you go when you’ve had your ass kicked in terrestrial ones. Tucker’s descent into “it’s all an illusion; events are being manipulated by behind-the-scenes puppet masters,” which aligns his views with those of Alex Jones and, to a great extent, Trump himself, and the enthusiastic response to this escapism on the part of ordinary MAGAs, indicates a right wing that’s fast giving up on terrestrial fighting.

Didja hear? Charlie Kirk is now battling the CIA by telling his followers not to watch movies, because movies is how they getcha with their psyops!

Kirk could not deliver Arizona for the GOP. All his bluster, all his supposed “activism,” all the donations he rakes in, he could not score a single real-world electoral win in his own state. Still, he’s gotta do something to excuse that $6.5 million Scottsdale mansion. So he’s fighting the Battle of CIA Movie Psyops, and you know what? I think the kid might win that one!

It’s The NeverEnding Story! And Kirk is riding Falkor, naming princesses, and saving Fantasia.

Funny enough, when that film came out in 1984, it was widely derided for its ending in which the bullied protagonist boy gets revenge against his tormentors in his imagination, while his real-world lot remains as desperate as when the film began. We were like, “Is it really a happy ending that the boy’s taken refuge in fantasy?”

What fags we were. What irredeemable cucks. The imagination is where all the best wars are waged.

On the other hand—and hear me out on this—perhaps you’re not helpless pawns being moved around a chessboard by Baron Rothschild. Maybe the right’s misfortune is its own doing.

I’ll give you one example, locally.

It’s easy to blame California’s transition to deep blue stronghold on immigration. “The Dems dun imported a new electorate!”

Okay, so here’s a brainteaser for ya. In the 1990s, our governor for two terms (the limit in this state) was Pete Wilson, a Republican with strong views against illegal immigration. He handily won twice.

Then, after Wilson, we got Gray Davis, a pro-immigration open-borders Democrat, for one full term. He was recalled after starting his second term, and we got Arnold Schwarzenegger, a Republican who ran on stopping illegal immigration and ending special treatment for illegals. He easily beat Davis and the other Democrat challenger, bald bean Cruz Bustamante (Davis’ lieutenant governor). In 2006, Schwarzenegger cruised to reelection.

Let’s examine this puzzling pattern: Immigration restrictionist GOP wins two terms. Democrat open-borders extremist wins one term. He’s recalled, and an immigration restrictionist GOP wins two terms. How can you blame that pattern on a changed electorate? Did Mexicans move here during Wilson’s term, elect Davis, then move out before the recall, so Schwarzenegger could win? In 2003, did they all travel back to Zahapotecajuacan to pick up their mail?

That’s imbecilic. The gubernatorial pattern is easily explicable by the stupidity of the state GOP. Not Baron Rothschild, not the Elders of Zion, but the very real, very visible, very retarded GOP.

Wilson was anti-immigration and pro-choice on abortion. A perfect combo for a state that was pro-choice before Roe.

Wilson won and served his two terms.

But then the state GOP decided, “Hey, let’s run an anti-abortion lunatic (Dan Lungren), a guy who says, ‘Put pregnant moms in jail and force childbirth!’”

And Lungren lost soundly to Davis. Then, when Davis ran for reelection, who’d the GOP put up against him? Another anti-abortion extremist! And Davis won again.

At that point, Richard Riordan of blessed memory—a genuine hero, the pro-choice GOP mayor of L.A. who’d even managed to win our bean vote—stepped in and was like, “Fuck this bullshit” (he said it more eloquently). He helped engineer the recall with the intent of running himself, but Schwarzenegger stepped in and Riordan stepped aside. And Schwarzenegger—same as Wilson: pro-choice, anti–open borders—kicked Davis’ ass.

That gubernatorial pattern had nothing to do with a “changing electorate.” It had to do with idiots running the state party, failing to recognize the importance of abortion here, failing to understand that anti-immigration rhetoric, popular as it was statewide, must go hand in hand with pro-choice.

Of course, once in office, Schwarzenegger, due to a combination of ego, inexperience, and various other personality defects, reneged on his immigration pledges, lost every battle with the Dems, and finally gave in and spent his second term pardoning criminals because, as he so eloquently put it while boning his hideous Guatemalan housekeeper, “Glauuaauuurgaaaaurggh.”

And now the state may very well be too far gone. But if so, it was lost by humans. Visible, flesh-and-blood, fallible humans, not some invisible psyop conspiracy.

In California, the GOP killed the GOP. There was no grassy-knoll gunman. Dumb people were dumb and did dumb things and dumbness ensued.

Like that’s a surprise or something. That’s the story of mankind.

On a national level, Trump fucked things up for Trump. Sure, he had enemies. So did LBJ. So did FDR. But they prevailed anyway. It was Trump who killed the Trump presidency. And it’s the national GOP that’s mired in dysfunction. The CIA, the Rothschilds, and Adam Weishaupt aren’t involved. They don’t need to be.

You have every right to be angry. Insane MAGAs on one side, Con Inc. establishment weaklings on the other. But retreating into fantasy won’t help. Indeed (to repeat a point from last week), it won’t just “not help,” it’ll actively harm.

Because I hate to say it, as it sounds scoldful (not sure that’s a word but I’m going with it anyway), but you bear some responsibility if you obsess over Deep State specters while ignoring the flesh-and-blood villains directly in front of you. Case in point: Steve Bannon. He stole the “build the wall” money. Stole it right from under your nose. The term “grift” is thrown around a lot on the right, but the fact is, even the Shapiro/Boering “change the culture” movie scams are still money-for-goods-and-services trades, which are straightforward, if foolish. Bannon did actual theft, like, a real crime, but he was pardoned by Trump. Tucker wants you to worry about invisible foes so that you’ll keep rewarding “he’s waving to you from the yacht you bought him” foes like Bannon.

I know a hundred guys on the right who continue to support, financially or via other forms of patronage, people they know are crooked, or toxic to voters. These real-world bad guys are the ones who profit from the right’s drift toward imaginary foes. The more you believe there are invisible vipers aligned against you, the more you’ll ignore—or embrace—the visible ones.

Consider fighting the visible ones first. There’ll always be time to get Baron Rothschild. He ain’t goin’ anywhere, what with being immortal and all.

See, the ultimate gag is that it’s the belief you’re in invisible shackles that puts you in invisible shackles. Tucker, Jones, all these con men tell you on a daily basis that you’re not “free.” The deck is stacked against you; “they” control everything. “They” have shackled you! You can’t see the bonds, but they’re there.

Once you start believing you’re in invisible shackles, you’re in invisible shackles. The guys telling you that some nameless force has invisible-shackled you are the ones who’ve actually invisible-shackled you.

As I said, a good gag.

And as Tucker and so many high-profile rightist influencers keep leaning into the invisible-enemies trope, I fear it’s gonna become the defining gag on the right.

Hans Schmidt lost an actual war but won an imaginary one. He died forgotten and unknown, having had no actual impact in the world.

But he died happy, because his virtual victory was real to him. You can choose that path. Fight the Illuminati in your mind, win the war, and award yourself a medal like a good little boy. And die happy.

Surely a more humane death than the painful, tortured one of the nation you supposedly love, DOA because those fighting for it fled to Fantasia.