Rev. Al Sharpton

I propose the calculation of a Contribution Factor, or CF, for each race, creed, sex, etc. The CF would be a function of such things as number of patents taken out by the group, number of entries in the list of the world’s greatest mathematicians and chess grandmasters, number of winners of the Nobel Prize in real subjects (the sciences, but not Peace or Literature, which are political baubles), number of engineers graduated annually, of companies started, and mean IQ. This laudable measure would be scaled to lie between zero and ten. Thus if, say, Korean Americans scored eight, each would be allowed eight votes in elections. Groups that scored .5 would get half a vote each. They could vote in teams.

What could be more socially progressive? Policy would then be made by the brightest and most productive, by those with a proven track record of contributing to society instead of being breast-fed by it.

Continuing my salutary reflections along this fertile line, it seems to me that we should reform the voting laws further. For example, convicted felons should not be permitted to vote. True, this would disenfranchise the NFL, but I believe that the republic could withstand this shock. (Those familiar with Washington will point out that laws invariably are made by felons, to which I respond that they have usually not been convicted. They are at least felons of the better sort, smart enough not to get caught. Call it felonious Darwinism.)

Further, illiterates should be denied the vote on the obvious grounds that people too stupid (not many) or too lazy (most of them) to learn to read should not be permitted within five hundred yards of a ballot box. Only a complete lunatic or a Democrat could believe otherwise.

Further, no one living on welfare should be allowed to vote. People who take much, give nothing, and demonstrably cannot function in a First World country are not desirable shapers of policy. Granted, this provision would give rise to questions of definition. Should federal bureaucrats be regarded as being on welfare, or just in day care? The legislation would have to be carefully drawn.

These are my thoughts. I hope that the Reverend Sharpton, a man of the cloth, will get in touch with me. I would like to get his scholarly insight regarding theological matters, such as the eschatological significance of the kerygma and whether he knows what book of the Bible follows Judges. I am aware that the uncharitable regard him as a race hustler and extortion artist. I for one will have no part of such slander.