October 31, 2014
Source: Shutterstock
Gays and lesbians, it’s time to circumcise your acronym, because its foreskin is homophobic. What’s the matter with identifying as gay? What’s so gross about being a lesbian? You don”t need a sex change, and you don”t need to reinvent the language. You”re straight or gay. To reject these terms is an insult to both. It’s as if someone was in the Hells Angels and he said, “I”m not an Angel. I just enjoy riding my bike with these guys and I hang out at the clubhouse and I wear the vest.” Sorry, dude. If the Mongols attack, we need to know you”re on our side. You might as well put on blackface and go to an NAACP meeting to complain about the white man.
I know of a lesbian couple where one identified as male and the other accepted her fate as a cis woman. They wanted to have a kid and had the money for insemination, but the woman was too old so the “man” decided to hang up his mustache for nine months and be female so they could have a healthy baby. That’s not “fluid.” That’s cheating. You can”t wash off your blackface when you want a job at J.P. Morgan.
This obsession with rejecting the norm has created a racist, sexist, cis-scum environment that renders the idea of what a woman is virtually meaningless. Lesbians are being criticized as homophobic because they don”t want men at their all-female festivals, even if said men swear up and down that they”re female. When a woman who identifies as a white male campaigned to become the multicultural affairs coordinator at Wellesley College, other students protested because they don”t like white males. We accepted an MMA fighter as a woman, and now he beats the living shit out of cis women for a living. This isn”t tolerance of the gay lifestyle. It’s normalization of the wildly deviant. These people aren”t anyone’s “allies.” They”re posers. In college, we used to call them LUGs (Lesbians Until Graduation).
The Western world is ready to wrap its arms around the gay community. The only thing preventing this couple from being brought together in holy matrimony is a heaving mass of confused mental cases who speak now and will never hold their peace. Cut them loose, ye unambiguous homosexuals, and we”ll stick with you in sickness and in health.
