Bravo Goldman Sachs. You’ve done it again. As in the U.S. subprime crisis,  this house of ill repute created a deal which helped the Greeks obscure billions in debt from the budget overseers, then charged the Greeks hundreds of millions of Euros for helping them hide the debts.  Classic Goldman Sachs policy, says the great economist Taki, the house of shame having been and being as I write the poster boy for banks behaving badly—exploiting whatever the situation, or rules that it helped to write. The man who led the Goldman Sachs team which helped Greece lie and cheat for so long is Goldman’s president, Gary Cohn, whose mentor is the chairman of Goldman, Lloyd Blankfein.

Cohn, Blankfein, the Greek government, a bunch of asset-stripper hoodlums that even Hollywood couldn’t make up. Mind you, the Greek prime minister, George Papandreou, son of Ali Babandreou, now roasting below, is a decent man who does not take after the great thief, and is committed to fixing things—as long as the Germans are around. Good old Deutschland, even without those great-looking Wehrmacht uniforms, she’s always there when the PIGS need her. The German taxpayer doesn’t count. Angela says pay and they pay. “Jav Wohl mein Fuhrer!”  Then the Greeks head for the beach. So what else is new? Only that the Brits might soon also have to contribute. (Perhaps even for Taki’s yacht.)

Seriously speaking, the fact that so many Greek governments have lied about the magnitude of their spending, that corruption is so rampant at every level of public administration, and that successive governments have proved incapable of purging themselves of such practices, have dealt a serious blow to Greece’s credibility. As things now stand, I cannot think of any foreign investors or international lenders who will take a chance on old Hellas, Bernie Madoff being out of action for the duration. Yet for an individual businessman and even more so for a country, nothing matters more than an honest reputation, which is where Goldman Sachs comes in. These Wall Street hustlers knew the score, yet they chose to pull the wool over our eyes for profit. Goldman Sachs and the rest of the crooks should be disbanded and forced to pay billions in reparations. In fact the opposite happened. The American taxpayer bailed them out. Something very wrong here, as the bride said when she discovered three naked babes in bed with her husband on her wedding night.

In England, of course, things are much, much better. The country was sold out for twenty safe Labour seats, so now it looks like Lahore with a little bit of Lagos thrown in for good measure. But the climate remains the same, and when it rains there are those of us who can still remember an England when English was spoken and when tablecloths were not considered everyday headgear. (Incidentally, did any of you read about Andrew Flintoff moving to Dubai? What did the poor man do to deserve such punishment?)

Britain is now bursting at the seams, and friends of mine ask me why I left the paradise for a dump like Gstaad. Well, out of stupidity and greed. I’m stupid not to appreciate the binge drinking and projectile vomiting of our glorious white youth—those swollen ankles of the slappers passed out on the streets—and I was reluctant to pay for the welfare of those bearded, sandal-wearing types who preach the advantages of Shariah law. Stupidity and greed is a lethal combination which leads to exile and Gstaad.  Poor little Greek boy. Perhaps in the next life I’ll know better. But the Brits are also a bit like Taki, stupid and easy to sway. Both the Iraq war and the ten years of unrestricted immigration were foisted on them by deceit, yet the architects of these great lies, the Blairs and Browns and Straws are still prancing around using official limos and getting on the telly to tell us how great their plans are for our future. How idiotic can a race get? These people would have been hanged and quartered in a more civilized time, but now they are still running for office. This is what Orwell’s Big Lie was all about. The state propaganda being so effective that the idiotic Brits care more about football and the hydrocephalic morons that play it, than what these major criminals have done to a once rather pleasant country.

But it sounds like sour grapes to complain, stuck as I am in misery here in the Bernese Oberland. A little bit like the late Princess Di telling that ambulance chaser for the rich Anthony Julius that she should not have gone German. Who the hell did she prefer? Æthelberht the Ist? Anyway, I don’t believe a word Anthony Julius says, he of how great it was to invade Iraq persuasion. Did anyone of his family serve, I might ask, but it’s yet another dumb question on my part. Almost as dumb as a ghastly French politician who claims he bedded Brigitte Bardot.  I know Brigitte and know of him, Patrick Balkany, mayor-MP of Levallois, and a great buddy of the dwarf Sarkozy. Balkany and his wife were convicted of corruption but are back on the saddle. He slept with Bardot as much as I slept with Keira Knightley, and trust me on this one.