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As part of the Biden administration’s push to make everything worse and more expensive, the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services (CMS) — not to be confused with Congress, which writes the laws because we live in a democracy ha ha ha — issued a prospective rule requiring nursing homes to hire more staff.

Because who better to determine the staffing needs of the country’s 15,000 nursing homes than Chiquita Brooks-LaSure, Biden’s CMS administrator? Also supporting the new rule are “patient advocates,” i.e. the Service Employees International Union, looking to increase its membership rolls.

Fortunately, The New York Times reports, President-elect Donald Trump is expected to repeal the Biden staffing mandates.

Also fortunately, I have a much better idea! Like Brooks-LaSure, my expertise does not come from running nursing homes. It comes from reading the news.

Such as …The media would sooner praise MAGA than admit that most of the world outside of the West is a cesspool of child rape, gang rape, elder rape, torture rape, goat rape, AIDS, multidrug-resistant gonorrhea and so on.

In 2018, hardworking Kenyan immigrant Billy Chemirmir enriched elderly nursing home patients in Texas by allegedly murdering at least 22 of them and stealing their jewelry. (Who will care for the elderly without mass third world immigration?) He was convicted in the first two trials and then killed in prison.

The year prior, Ethiopian immigrant Adeladilew A. Mekonen got 25 years after pleading guilty to sexually assaulting two patients at Providence St. Vincent Medical Center in Portland, Oregon, women aged 89 and 94. (By the way, why is an Ethiopian living in Portland?)

Third world immigrants are hard workers, though. Liberian George Kpingbah was a ripe old 77, but still managed to rape an elderly Alzheimer’s patient at the Walker Methodist Health Center in Minneapolis. This guy is a walking TV commercial for Cialis.

At the 2015 sentencing hearing, Kpingbah’s lawyer sought leniency on the grounds that the perp had “devoted much of his life to ensuring that his three daughters migrated to America,” as The Minnesota Star Tribune put it.

How can we ever thank you, Mr. Kpingbah?

In 2017, Parkpoom Seesangrit — you’ll never believe it, but yup, another immigrant — was convicted of raping a 69-year-old dementia patient at the East Longmeadow Skilled Nursing Center in Massachusetts. When the Thai national was caught by a nurse, he said, “I know I’m in trouble. This looks bad.”

Like so many immigrants, Seesangrit created another job right here in America: He needed a Thai interpreter at his trial. (Turns out our country is fairly bristling with Thais.)

In 2013, nursing assistant Antonio Nieto was convicted of sexually assaulting three female patients, aged 59, 73 and 93, in a Broomfield, Colorado, nursing home. In accordance with the Times Style Guide, the media refused to reveal where Nieto was from, but his lawyer said English was his second language and he needed a Spanish-language interpreter in court, so: Latin America.

In 2018, Ghanaian immigrant Fode Doukoure pleaded guilty to sexually assaulting a 74-year-old woman after placing an anesthesia-soaked rag over her mouth.

May I speak with the people who hired these guys? The ones who thought cheap labor was worth placing men from raging rape cultures in charge of weak, elderly Alzheimer’s patients?

Why are you crying, Grandma? Hey! Where’s your diamond-encrusted brooch?

The media would sooner praise MAGA than admit that most of the world outside of the West is a cesspool of child rape, gang rape, elder rape, torture rape, goat rape, AIDS, multidrug-resistant gonorrhea and so on. But it’s not an impenetrable mystery, and when you’re hiring employees to work with helpless dementia patients, it’s kind of important to understand this aspect of non-Western culture.

I will briefly mention some suggestive facts about only the countries mentioned here, a subject I cover in detail in Adios, America!

Mass rape was a regular feature of Liberia’s 14-year civil war, as it is in most wars on the Dark Continent — also in response to minor skirmishes, celebrations, election seasons and filming a music video.

Kenya’s three-month election season, for example, features mass rapes committed by police, ordinary Kenyans and militia groups. (And you thought our elections were bad.)

During the two-year conflict in Tigray, Ethiopia, government forces raped hundreds of women, in front of friends and family, holding some as sex slaves for repeated gang rapes, sometimes inserting large nails, gravel, metal and plastic shrapnel into their victims’ vaginas, among other things. (On the plus side, none of them were fat-shamed or made to feel unheard.)

Thailand is ranked among the top 10 countries for violence against women and girls. Last year, 11 Thai police officers were charged with gang-raping a 14-year-old girl.

The Inter-American Children’s Institute reports that Latin America is second only to Asia in the sexual exploitation of women and children, who are “seen as objects instead of human beings with rights and freedoms.”

In 2018, naive British teenagers paid 1,200 pounds apiece to go on a class trip to “volunteer” in … Ghana. Whereupon armed Ghanaian and Nigerian men broke into their compound, beat and robbed the males and raped the girls and their female teacher for three hours, finally leaving at around 4 a.m.

Contra Brooks-LaSure, the last thing nursing homes need is more Kenyans, Ethiopians, Liberians, Thais and Latin Americans. What’s really needed is fewer rapes.

Here’s something useful Dr. Mehmet Oz could do at CMS that would create no additional paperwork or regulatory burden for nursing homes: Investigate every one of these monstrous crimes and widely publish the names and incomes of the facility owners and operators who thought the abuse of elderly Americans was a small price to pay for all that cheap foreign labor.