October 25, 2010
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Dear Delphi,
My boyfriend won’t let me clean his dishes. He says the maid is there to do it, and he doesn’t want me to have to lift a finger. I’ve stopped cleaning his dishes, but I can’t stand to eat my breakfast in his kitchen and find it hard to ignore a mess. I also rather enjoy cleaning. It soothes me. What do I do?
“In Love with Mr. Don’t Clean in Paris
Dear In Love with Mr. Don”t Clean in Paris,
The only real reason most men hire maids is so they do not have to clean up after themselves. The fact that their house gets clean and their laundry done is only a secondary benefit.
He thinks he is pampering you, while you would most likely rather go camping and carry around all sorts of waste products in your backpack and eat out of a tin can for a week than wake up and eat in his kitchen, and rightly so.
Unless you are OCD and wash one pan for 30 minutes while only able to count to ten in time with your strokes 100 times without interruptions, this really should not be a big problem. Explain in a very master-of-the-obvious sort of way that if the maid were in fact there, she would be doing the dishes. She is in fact not there. It is very simple; either he can let you clean or make sure the maid is there, whether it be 11 p.m. or 7 a.m. Clean it up if you want to. The worst thing that can happen is he will dump you because you don”t want to live in a glorified pigsty with a virtual maid service. Honestly, do you want a man who would pick dirty dishes over you?
Dear Delphi,
I have a bad hangover. What’s the best remedy? I feel like crap.
“Wino in Amsterdam
Dear Wino in Amsterdam,
I am really glad you asked, because it gives me a chance to impart some information I regard as a public health service. Assuming that you do not want to stop boozing as an immediate and long-lasting cure, here are two remedies:
Children’s Motrin, dye-free, cherry flavor. One or two swigs and you should be fine. If, however, you are anorexic or manorexic, I suggest you read the dosing chart on the bottle.
Pedialyte, liquid or popsicles. I cannot guide you in flavor (the liquid comes in grape, bubble gum, fruit, and unflavored) or dosage because I have never tried this remedy myself. I do, however, have it on high authority from professional drinkers that this is the Nobel Prize of hangover cures.
If you cannot find these products locally, which is most likely the case in Europe, I suggest you hop the next plane to the US and stock up.
Medical disclaimer: I am not a doctor, so use your common sense.
