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Highly surprisingly for a far-left regime, the current U.K. Labour Party Government has just achieved the key stereotypical right-wing aim of bringing back hanging. But only for the right kind of offender, naturally—namely, white and awkward ones.

At first, we didn’t know for sure that tying a noose around his own neck was precisely how Peter Lynch, a 61-year-old white grandfather found dead at His Majesty’s Prison Moorland on 19 October, killed himself. It’s just that, given his name, it seemed the most appropriate method. An inquest later determined this was indeed how Lynch shuffled off this mortal coil: nominative determinism in action, yet again.

Others went further, calling Lynch’s fate murder, the guilty party being the Prime Minister, Sir Keir Starmer. The prominent anti-Islam activist Tommy Robinson organized a London rally in Lynch’s name, tweeting that: “This man didn’t commit suicide he was murdered by @KeirStarmer & his tyrants. Thrown to the Muslim gangs in jail for daring to speak out. We must make sure his name is never forgotten. WE ARE ALL PETER LYNCH.” Tommy himself certainly now is: He’s just been banged behind bars too, just like Peter. Admittedly this was for unrelated legal reasons, but the timing of his sudden imprisonment does seem…rather curious.

Trial and Error
Robinson’s implication was clear. As Muslim gangs rule many wings of Britain’s jails, by Starmer throwing a white anti-Islam protester into one, Lynch became the de facto victim of an unspoken judicial killing at the hands of a systemically racist State—like George Floyd, but innocent.

Unlike Fentanyl Floyd, Lynch had no reported prior criminal record. This all changed on 4 August this year, when he took to the streets to demonstrate against those who did: the Muslim-majority grooming gangs who had spent the past few decades preying on underage white girls across England, in run-down towns like Rotherham.

During this summer’s widespread English anti-immigrant riots, Lynch joined a crowd outside a Holiday Inn in Rotherham, which had been commandeered to hold a new tranche of Akbar asylum seekers, where he then sickeningly…did very little indeed. The old man shouted some rude words out loud, calling the motel’s occupants “child killers” before shouting that the police guarding the building were “scum” who were “protecting people who are killing our kids and raping them.”

That’s it. Lynch didn’t attack anybody, set anything on fire, hurl any objects, nor commit the slightest act of criminal damage. Yet he was still hauled up before a judge on charges of “violent disorder” despite performing no violent acts at all. Lynch pleaded guilty anyhow. Being unemployed, I doubt he could afford fancy lawyers, and, under the present U.K. system, “admitting” you’re guilty when you’re not generally gets you a shorter sentence, for saving the show-trial organizers a bit of extra time and effort. “In England, justice is open to all, like the Ritz Hotel,” as it was once said.

This Sentence Makes No Sense
If this was indeed the shorter sentence, though, I wouldn’t like to have seen the longer one. Lynch was diabetic, had thyroid problems and angina, and had recently suffered a heart attack. Despite this, Judge Jeremy Richardson KC handed him a sentence of two years and eight months on the grounds that, whilst “You did not yourself attack any police officer, as far as can be detected,” during the riot itself some 64 police officers were injured, “as well as four dogs and a horse.” Yes, but they were injured by other people, not Lynch himself.

Still, argued the judge, by providing verbal support, Lynch was somehow deemed a “full participant” in the riot, despite not actually doing any rioting, a bit like how it is cheering crowds who really throw all the punches in a boxing match.

Judge Richardson concluded by calling Lynch “a disgraceful example of a grandfather.” By acting to try to prevent the further needless importation of any more unassimilable aliens he deemed likely to rape his grandchildren in future years, I would have thought it was rather the reverse.

In failing to act likewise himself, isn’t Judge Richardson the true Bad Grandpa? Ah, but he probably doesn’t have to live on a multiethnic Rotherham sink estate himself…

Conspiracy of Violence
No wonder Tommy Robinson deemed Peter Lynch a “political prisoner” who was “fast-tracked into prison for essentially shouting in the street.” It also seems rather negligent of the prison authorities to have allowed Lynch to kill himself in the first place, such a prisoner being a rather obvious “suicide risk,” as one government adviser subsequently admitted. According to Lynch’s son, he had even made two prior attempts at self-murder.

But, lest any awkward Jeffrey Epstein-like conspiracy theories begin to sprout, a handy preemptive strategy appeared to stop any such tendency in its tracks: label Mr. Lynch a conspiracy theorist first. Even some of Lynch’s defenders, like journalist Isabel Oakeshott, writing in conservative broadsheet The Telegraph, whilst also arguing he was “a political prisoner,” called him a promulgator of “strange conspiracy theories” and “wackadoodle theories about the world.”

On what basis? At the protest, Lynch brandished an extremely poorly made placard. Here, adjusted for spelling and grammar, Peter scribbled that “PMs, MPs, police chiefs, TV, media, judiciary, judges, civil servants, and reporters” were all in cahoots as the pliant tools of some “Deep State.” To prove that this was not so, police chiefs immediately had him arrested, and a judge then gave him out 32 months in jail on behalf of the Prime Minister and his MPs, in a process of fast-track justice devised posthaste by civil servants and the judiciary, before TV, media, and reporters obediently smeared him as a conspiracy theorist.

Who did Lynch think such lickspittles were acting upon behalf of? According to his sign, such characteristic bodies of transnational governance as the World Economic Forum, Blackrock investment bank, and those who gather to worship Mammon every year at Davos. You have to wonder in what sense this might be considered a “conspiracy.”

If all he meant here was that most major institutions of the modern British State are overwhelmingly staffed by identikit clones who share the exact same mental, moral, and political outlook as the stereotypical Davos Man, and that such bodies and people all work together to advance their shared agenda around issues like uncontrolled mass immigration in a fashion not entirely deserving of the adjective “democratic,” then Lynch was actually quite correct here, no? Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to globalize you.

A Sign of Idiocy
Yet many media outlets gladly made Lynch look loopy by pointing out that one of the bodies his sign seemingly alleged was in on the whole ghastly plot was NASA. Initially, it does indeed seem amusing someone might think the ghosts of Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin are helping flood Britain with towelheads. Except, if you examine Lynch’s sign, it is riddled with spelling errors and random capitalization; “HeADS Of CiVIL SeRVANTS” rather than “HEADS OF CIVIL SERVICE,” for example.

Is it not eminently possible that, when writing “NASA,” this was simply a careless slip of Lynch’s jumbo marker pen for “NSA,” the U.S. National Security Agency, who really do have form in monitoring and manipulating the public?

One other group named and shamed by Lynch was something called the WFO. What is that? A quick search online reveals only such sinister options as the U.S. Weather Forecast Office, the World Farmers’ Association, World Flora Online, and, most ominous of all, the World Federation of Orthodontists, none of whom seem terribly likely candidates to be the true modern-day avatars of the Elders of Zion. Common sense means you have to presume Lynch actually meant to write “WTO” here, the World Trade Organization. “NASA” is plausibly just another such typo, one may have guessed.

By reproducing his amateurish sign and labeling him a “conspiracy theorist” with comical ideas about NASA, however, mainstream news sources signal to their readers that this is nothing more than yet another example of insignificant, brain-dead, lower-class, bigoted, Brexit-voting, white-trash scum, who should be sealed into a cell forever. By implication, all participants in this summer’s unrest, violent or not, were exactly the same—ill-informed, illiterate, mentally subnormal conspiracy nuts.

One Law for Lawson
Conspiratorially minded members of the general public might also be tempted to draw “erroneous” conclusions from the fact that, to make space for pensioners-cum-prisoners like Peter Lynch in U.K. jails, various drug dealers, fraudsters, and violent offenders were released early—many of whom were brown or black (like I say, they were convicted criminals). Didn’t this make it look as if the government, police, judiciary, and all those other placeholders clandestinely controlled by the World Federation of Orthodontists actually took white thought-crimes more seriously than non-white actual crimes? Was there, as some “conspiracy theorists” now claimed, a two-tier racial justice system in the U.K.?

Not at all, the WFO puppets proclaimed. This was just a necessary practical measure, intended to free up space for a sudden influx of violent rioters (some of whom didn’t actually riot, and were in no sense violent). The comparative sentences handed down to the more genuinely criminal inmates now being given early release in the first place tell a different story, though.

Lawson Natty is a very large black boy who, aged 18, was involved in the fatal stabbing of a rather smaller 14-year-old white boy, Gordon Gault, in 2022. Natty did not personally knife Gordon, that honor belonged to his gang associate, another black youth, who received nine years and two months in the clink. Natty was himself also armed, though, and supplied the machete the act was performed with. For this, he got a sentence of two years and eight months—precisely the same as that later handed down to Peter Lynch for holding up a shitty little sign littered with spelling errors.

Lynch was unarmed, and provided no Molotov cocktails or other weaponry—like, say, a big machete or something—to those who did commit acts of actual violence. And nobody present at the Rotherham riot actually died, unlike Gordon Gault. Yet still, in terms of sentencing, the crimes of Natty and Lynch were deemed of precisely equal severity in the eyes of the law. That’s two-tier justice right there, isn’t it? Either that, or exceedingly badly drafted sentencing guidelines.

No Such Thing as a Free Lynch
But there the similarities between the cases end, because, being an actual criminal, Natty himself appears to have coped perfectly well in prison, so much so, his victim’s mother claimed he contacted her, making wonderfully vibrant threats to firebomb her home and rape her dead son’s 13-year-old girlfriend. To make space for the likes of the incredibly dangerous angina-ridden NASA conspiracy theorist Peter Lynch, however, Natty was unexpectedly now slated to be released after a mere fourteen months.

Just to rub it all in to the angry white trash, Natty turned out to be an immigrant himself, originally due to be deported back to his “home” country of Belgium following release, but Gordon Gault’s mother had subsequently been told this was now “very unlikely,” doubtless on account of his alleged “human rights,” presuming he is actually human.

Peter Lynch, by contrast, being a previously law-abiding citizen, appeared less naturally able to cope with life behind bars, and so chose to kill himself instead.

And our politicians, police, and media seriously expect us to believe there isn’t a two-tier justice system in the United Kingdom these days? They must be living on another planet entirely. Maybe they really are all having their strings pulled by NASA after all.