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The first article I ever wrote for Taki’s was about the men’s 2022 soccer World Cup held over in Qatar, complaining about how the whole event had been turned into a vast moral circus in which the true contest was now between white Western liberals competitively lecturing Arabs about homosexuality.

20 August (last night, if you’re reading this on the day it goes up) saw the final of the companion 2023 women’s World Cup event in Australia and New Zealand, two übermodern and progressive Western lands where, unlike in Qatar, it is heterosexuality that is now a capital offense, not homosexuality. Given this fact, surely there was no need for social commentators to try to queer the pitch over there, too, was there?

What do you think?

Political Football
Long before the football—as most non-U.S. and antipodean fans call “soccer”—even kicked off, there was a row about FIFA (Facilitators of Incredibly False Accounting), the sport’s world governing body, forbidding team captains to wear Gay Pride rainbow armbands during games. FIFA’s reasoning for rendering the armbands armbanned was that they constituted a political statement, and political statements were not allowed during or before games.

To prove this, FIFA then gave captains an alternative roster of armbands to wear, promoting such incredibly nonpolitical themes as “Unite for Indigenous Peoples,” “Unite for Gender Equality,” and “Unite for [Net] Zero.” Unsurprisingly, female footballists then immediately subverted these rules by dying their hair, varnishing their nails, or painting their pubes in the eyesore colors of the gaybow and transgender flags, with no apparent censure.

The website “Outsports,” devoted to reporting not on sporting events per se but upon the wonderful homosexuals who occasionally participate in them, even compiled a handy list of LGBTQ players competing in the tournament. Like some demented gay Stasi, the site “reviewed the social media accounts of over 80% of the 736 athletes competing” and “did the best we could” to guess which looked most like massive lesbians. Apparently “at least 95 in total” were deemed probable deviants, or “almost 13%” of those competing. Australia was the most lesbian team present, being “over 40%” gay, just like Demi Lovato.

For Sappho’s sake, so what? Shouldn’t they be recognized as athletes first, lesbos last? That’s what queers always used to ask for. Yet today, isn’t the imminently retiring (but certainly not shy) purple-haired Marxist U.S. captain Megan Rapinoe the most well-known female figure in the sport precisely because she’s very, very lesbian, rather than because she happens to be a good footballer? Imagine if Pelé was most celebrated for once getting hard over the Girly-Boy from Ipanema on the beach rather than for actually winning all those World Cups.

The Revolt of Islam
Yet this is nothing compared with the suffocating gay sanctimony currently destroying the men’s game. Such insanity reached its anal climax when, last October, legendary former Spain goalkeeper Iker Casillas apparently had his Twitter account hacked to falsely out him as being gay. Casillas’ old Spanish teammate Carles Puyol then joked that “It’s time to tell them about us,” which critics piously labeled a profoundly damaging statement that was “not a joke” after all, even though it clearly was, because they had never once actually sodomized each other in the dressing room.

For easily offended Sky Sports News U.K. reporter Mark McAdam, “This could have been one of those moments that completely changed football for the better where someone decided to say ‘look, I’m gay and I’m happy to talk about it,’” but it wasn’t…because Casillas wasn’t gay. Is McAdam’s logic that footballers should now pretend to be homosexual when they’re not, in the name of “furthering diversity”? That would take compelled queer speech to a whole new level.

Given such irrational thought processes, it was no wonder when, during a German TV interview in November ahead of the men’s World Cup, onetime Qatari international Khalid Salman said visiting fans “have to accept our rules here,” as homosexuality represented “damage in the mind,” and also “is haram,” that is, explicitly doctrinally forbidden by Islam. “You know what haram means?” Salman asked. Evidently, many Westerners do not.

Stand Up if You’ve Just Been Bummed
In 2021, former Egypt player Mohamed Aboutrika denounced the English Premier League’s annual “Rainbow Laces” pro-homo campaign live on beIN sports, the Qatar-based broadcaster with a major presence across the Muslim world. Homosexuality was “not compatible” with Islam, he said, being “against human nature,” with LGBTQ activism a “dangerous ideology that is becoming nasty.” Aboutrika urged England-based Muslim players to boycott Rainbow Laces—but would they even be allowed?

The Rainbow Laces campaign is the hell-spawn of Stonewall, a U.K.-based “charity” that started posting unsolicited rainbow-colored laces to players in the English Premier League back in 2013 and telling them to wear them during games or Peter Tatchell would suddenly explode; they should have posted the things straight back and told the activists to go hang themselves with them like St. Justin Fashanu. Stonewall staff’s next plan is to begin mailing players out their old used condoms and asking them to wear them during games, too, to demonstrate solidarity with the AIDS patient community.

According to a sycophantic write-up of this innovative moral blackmail program on the wholly politically neutral Wikipedia website, Stonewall “want to make members of the LGBTQ+ community feel comfortable playing their favorite sport with pride as they believe people perform better when they are themselves.”

It used to be said that “There’s no ‘I’ in ‘team.’” Now it seems as if there is little else—at least if you’re a self-licking lesbian like Megan Rapinoe, masturbating endlessly into the planetary-scale moral mirror provided by the pitch-side cameras in order to force your excessive self-love and self-regard onto others whether they want to be forced to observe the unedifying spectacle or not.

The Village People’s Club
This is all done in the name of being “inclusive,” but such measures didn’t prove especially so for Jaelene Hinkle, the innocent Christian player who shamefully ended up exiled from the U.S. women’s team and heckled by “tolerant” fans from the grandstands after refusing to wear any gay rainbow branding when called up to play back in 2017.

An equally egregious example came in 2020, when a fan of perpetually unsuccessful English Premier League team Everton FC accurately tweeted “This thing is disgusting” in response to an image of the Everton shirt: This one was even more disgusting than usual, as it had a big gay rainbow armband.

Playing on their nickname “The People’s Club,” Everton’s official account then apparently took it upon themselves to ban the fan from their stadium, tweeting right back that: “We’re ‘The People’s Club,’ not ‘The Some People’s Club.’ You won’t be missed.” Yes, that’s right, Everton are for all people, not just some; and to prove the fact, they just publicly forbade a person from coming to watch them play. You could not get any more authentically Orwellian than that.

All this is in explicit and obvious contravention of various official FIFA laws of the game. See this detailed report from the “Let All Play” campaign for definitive proof. Particularly priceless is its reminder that in 2015, Iran allegedly flooded their women’s team with trannies in disguise for a must-win game, only to be condemned by all and sundry for seeking to gain an illegitimate physical advantage over their more genuinely vagina’d competitors. Today they’d be given golden FIFA Fair Play Awards fashioned in the shape of Lia Thomas’ penis (doubtless capped with a special bronze tip on the glans for added Stonewall gay points).

Jordan Is in the Middle East
Much of this is just empty posturing. Jordan Henderson, long-term Liverpool FC captain until a few weeks ago when he suddenly upped sticks and joined Al-Ettifaq of the petrodollar-fueled Saudi Pro League for an alleged wage of £700,000 per week, tax-free, used to be a noted public advocate of gay rights.

Jizzy Jordan would write of how he would feel dreadful if any given homosexual was prevented from entering LFC’s Anfield Stadium “simply for being and identifying as who they are,” as though everyone was subjected to a rubber-gloved rectal cavity inspection by qualified Gay Finders General prior to games or something.

But as soon as the Saudis offered to make him the best-paid English soccerballist of all time, he didn’t seem to care too much that homos can be imprisoned or executed over Riyadh way. When they unveiled his signing, Al-Ettifaq even censored a photo of Jordan wearing his old rainbow armband, Stalin-style, to make it black and white instead—a measure that makes me wish the English Premier League was being run by the House of Saud at present, too.

This, said the Liverpool FC gay supporters’ club the Kop Outs (Glasgow Celtic’s equivalents are surely the Bhum Bhoys), would cause “hurt and division” amongst his old gay fans, much as the act of sodomy itself so often does.

Up the Arsenal!
Once upon a time, sportsmen were criticized for embracing ideology on the playing field, as with a notorious 1938 occasion when the England soccer team gave a collective Nazi salute prior to a game against Hitler’s Germany in Berlin, supposedly on the orders of supine British ambassadorial staff. Many English players may actually have been perfectly happy to do so, finding it “a bit of fun,” but following the war proved eager to distance themselves from their original decision, once cultural mores altered and it began to seem more and more immoral to have complied.

I wonder if, one day, those contemporary players currently too spineless to resist being press-ganged into wearing rainbow laces might begin to feel the same, especially if public opinion should ever begin to shift in relation to appalling moral crimes like pushing Nazi death-camp-style surgery onto vulnerable “trans” teens.

Maybe the Muslims have the right idea. At least when the Taliban used to execute apostates in the centre circle prior to kickoff during the good old pre-2001 days in Afghanistan, there was a bit of entertainment value to pre-match proceedings, Circus Maximus-style. How long before opposing team captains in the West are compelled to ritually sodomize one another before kickoff instead? Maybe that’s why Jordan Henderson really fled to the Saudi Pro League while he still could. You wouldn’t want to get the back of your own net burst by a man built like Erling Haaland.