The spooky spirits of Halloween season find us a mere year away from the next presidential election, and our rotting republic faces a scenario unthinkable a generation ago: Both the Republican and Democratic nominees may be black. A recent Rasmussen Reports telephone survey showed Herman Cain ...
Saturday night I watched Bill Clinton give himself a blowjob for four hours, and it wasn’t pretty. From roughly 10:13PM to 2:05AM Eastern Standard Time, I passively and resentfully endured a shamelessly self-congratulatory spectacle dubbed “A Decade of Difference: A Concert Celebrating 10 Years ...
The burly, bearded, bellicose, belching, beer-bellied, barrel-chested, leather-vested bard and balladeer known as Hank Williams Jr.—aka “Bocephus”—will no longer be belting out the Monday Night Football theme as he’s done for two decades now. That’s because last Monday morning on Fox ...
The children—dozens of them at first, then hundreds—gathered in downtown Manhattan on September 17 to change the world. For better or worse, they’re still there. They may even be multiplying. Many of them, especially the girls, seemed too young to have so much facial hair. Many…if not ...
It’s been 20 years since Nirvana’s Nevermind album and its breakthrough single, “Smells Like Teen Spirit,” were released. The scrawny corpse of Kurt Cobain, the Man Who Refused to Be Marketed, is being repackaged and remarketed, with Nevermind now reissued in multiple commemorative editions ...
Late one Saturday morning in 1990 under the skeleton-bleaching California sun, I motored through a crumbled, hilly, ashen section of East LA looking to see if any of the Hicks Boys Stoners were around to sell me some weed. Named after East LA’s Hicks Avenue, they were a loosely amalgamated gang ...
Prostitution is the world’s oldest profession, and last Wednesday police in Phoenix arrested what appear to be some of the world’s oldest prostitutes. Judging from their mug shots, they may rank among the world’s unseemliest strumpets, too. At least fifteen accused “sex workers” were ...
Although she recently opted to surgically guillotine her bazooms, the stubbly tattooed blobfish born Chastity Sun Bono has no penis and has yet to fill and pave over her vagina with cement, so I refuse to refer to that mortally confused woman as “he.” There ain’t no wiener in that there ...
Even by Mexican Drug War standards, last Thursday’s death inferno at Monterrey’s Casino Royale seemed a bit much. At least 52 people died after a group of eight or nine gunmen stormed the casino, began randomly firing at civilians, doused the entrance with gasoline, and torched the joint. ...
While reading yet another headline about, oh, I don’t know, a wayward dromedary whose scrotum was implanted with a cell-phone-triggered incendiary device designed to blow up a VW minibus filled with sorghum-harvesting kibbutz workers, it hit me like a suicide bomb: I don’t care. It’s not that ...
