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“Euthan-Asia?” asks the traditional cartoon comedy moron. “Where’s that?”

Today the honest answer could be given “It’s in Great Britain.” The nation’s parliamentarians have just voted to pass a bill legalizing end-of-life “medically assisted dying,” as the euphemism goes.

Once fully passed, the legislation will allow persons with fewer than six months left to live the legal right to kill themselves under close medical supervision, just so long as they have the permission of two separate doctors and a High Court judge first. However, it is estimated the full “Kill Bill” could take up to three years to hit U.K. statute books, meaning anyone with only six months left to live right now will need to hold out for at least 36 months in order to actually take advantage of it.

Voluntary euthanasia is a complex moral issue, leading to controversies on all sides. There are good, reasonable arguments for, and against. There are also bad, unreasonable arguments for, and against too. Guess which ones this article is going to focus on?

Dead Fashionable
The worst rationale advanced in favor of the practice is that killing yourself due to unbearable medical pain is not simply a sad and tragic option of last resort, but a fun and fashionable lifestyle choice. All the coolest people are dead, after all, aren’t they? Jesus, Dracula, John Belushi, Kurt Cobain—who wouldn’t want to be like one of them?

That was the apparent message of a series of deeply strange poster advertisements promoting public approval of the new euthanasia laws put up on the London Underground Tube system. As I have recently observed elsewhere, Londonistan’s Mayor Sadiq Khan has very strict rules about what can and cannot be promoted on Tube posters, piously banning images of cakes and hot dogs as excessively fattening and bad for commuters’ health.

Assisted suicide, however, is far less deadly—studies prove it. It’s far less fattening, too; being dead is one of the most effective weight-loss methods known to man.

So, whilst cake posters are verboten, posters like the new pro-euthanasia ones featuring glammed-up glossy images of healthy-looking middle-aged women in silk pajamas dancing around their kitchens in sheer joy at the prospect of being put down by a passing veterinarian after contracting late-stage bone cancer are seemingly absolutely fine and 100 percent non-problematic.

Blood on the Tracks
In the last annual figures, 68 people committed suicide by throwing themselves onto Tube tracks: This is why Nike’s old “Just Do It!” ads were never pinned up there. Britain is today a country so oversensitive to perceived “emotional triggers” relating to “mental health” that, at the precise same time the new posters were causing controversy, Manchester City soccer manager Pep Guardiola was forced to make a groveling public apology after joking that a scratch on his face was the result of “self-harm” following a poor run of results.

And yet stuff like this is fine. Within days, some of the posters had already been covered up by moral vandals with others for the Samaritans anti-suicide hotline.

According to the campaign group responsible, Dignity in Dying—led by the laughing ghost of Yukio Mishima, I believe—the model jiving round her kitchen is an actual genuine real-life terminally ill patient, who was happy to be very publicly associated with such “positive imagery” of “people living life on their own terms.” Surely they mean “ending life on their own terms”?

It seems British people shall just have to get used to such suicide-positive images and slogans polluting the public sphere from now on: “Suicide—it’s so good, you’ll want to commit it again and again!” That one should at least help get the Buddhists onside.

Don’t Trust Me, I’m a White Doctor
So, that’s a very bad argument for euthanasia. What’s a very bad argument against it? How about that it will inevitably lead to a massive, nationwide genocide against black people, led by Josef Mengele-style white doctors who want to kill them all off?

Those who don’t like the idea of assisted dying have noted the vote went through on Black Friday. But was this “coincidence” really a subliminal message from the systemically racist British State that they were going to use the whole thing as an excuse to cull all the coconuts by stealth? Such an argument may seem paranoid, but figures do show black people in equally “racist” lands like the USA suffer far higher rates of paranoia than whites do, so maybe this is only to be expected.

One such paranoid individual was a literal Igbo named Chine McDonald, black female director of the U.K. religious think tank Theos, who penned a letter to The Times of London complaining that, although she had seen numerous public figures discussing the proposed law change in recent months, “I can’t recall any of them being black.” She can’t have heard Diane Abbott MP very publicly protesting about the measures, then.

According to McDonald, only 43 percent of blacks in Britain supported medical euthanasia, as opposed to 75 percent of native white devils. One reason was that they were more likely to be religious. However, there was another reason too: the sneaking suspicion that there might end up being some form of “racial bias in assisted dying.” After all, black women were “four times more likely” to die in childbirth in Britain than white women, McDonald said. How terribly suspicious!

Illegally Blonde
I don’t know if McDonald has been to an NHS (National Health Service) hospital anytime lately, but, to say the least, not all of the men and women in white coats actually have white skin anymore. Given how openly and unashamedly prejudiced certain of these dusky docs would appear to be against white people these days, I wonder if the true sense of medical paranoia should in fact be held by Caucasians against Negroes in the NHS?

Lucy Letby is a white British nurse with unacceptably blonde hair and blue eyes, who in 2023 was found guilty of murdering several babies on an NHS neonatal ward between 2015 and 2016. How did she manage to get away with her infanticidal hobby of cosplaying as Queen Herod for so long unnoticed? Some black Brit(ish) commentators thought they had the answer: white privilege!

I once wrote on this website about my cheerfully racist grandfather’s time as a Military Policeman, during which he once supposedly “solved” a WWII-era murder in Egypt by, as he put it, “just arresting the nearest nigger.” In the view of some blacks, Britain’s civilian police force probably still adopt similar methods of detection, making Letby automatically above suspicion.

According to Lovecraftian-named academic Dr. (not of Medicine) Shola Mos-Shogbamimu: “Lucy Letby exemplifies how ideology of Whiteness keeps Britain in a chokehold. They believed her tears/denials even though evidence said otherwise for no other reason than she’s White. A Black or Brown nurse would’ve been reported to the police immediately & sacked for suspicion.”

I’m not sure you can legally be “sacked for suspicion” under U.K. employment law these days, but other commentators—even some black ones—argued back that, if anything, if Letby had been black she would probably have been even less likely to have come under suspicion due to staff and police being terrified of being spuriously accused of “racism.”

Nursing a Grievance
Yet other black nurses, such as Neomi Bennett, founder of the Equality 4 Black Nurses (E4BN) professional complaining outfit, disagreed forcefully. E4BN’s website despairs that “Black nurses are suffering mentally and physically from racial trauma and nobody is listening.” Maybe that’s because you’re all talking total crap?

According to Bennett’s blog on E4BN, “Killer Letby” benefited from “the same processes” used by the NHS “to execute…Black nurses’ lives daily.” I didn’t realize the NHS was executing black nurses daily. Perhaps that’s why they’re always so short-staffed?

Being white and blonde, “Killer Letby” benefited from “not looking the type” to strangle babies, wrote Bennett, and therefore “Killer Letby’s white fragility and perceived innocence allowed her to continue benefitting from the Health Service System whilst harming and killing lots of helpless premature babies.”

Right. So what’s the solution? Just let all black NHS staff automatically operate above all possible suspicion at all times? I wouldn’t fancy going into the palliative care stage myself one day under the close supervision of a black medic bearing the name tag Dr. Shola Yog-Sothoth or whatever it was under such circumstances myself, personally.

If black medical staff are really all so incredibly benign and wonderful, how do you explain Bill Cosby?

Bleeding Heart Surgery
Actually, those most at potential risk from killer racist euthanasia doctors in the U.K. at present may well be the nation’s Jews, particularly if they happen to be patients at Barts Health NHS Trust, which runs five hospitals in London.

In a spirit of intense intersectional solidarity, sympathetic doctors, nurses, and consultants at Barts hospitals recently decided to demonstrate their shared siblinghood with their fellow maltreated Muslim medics over in bomb-ravaged Palestine. They could have simply stored a few dozen missiles and hostages down in the basement, right underneath the children’s ward, but settled for the more limited tribute act of wearing T-shirts, badges, and probably even hidden suicide vests, of a pro-Palestinian nature, instead.

This quickly proved awkward as soon as a few Jewish patients, sourced from a city with a trifling 145,000 such coreligionists, were wheeled into wards seeking treatment, only to be greeted by what may have looked to them like the entire gathered Hamas Forced Euthanasia Committee.

Were the hospitalized Jews who complained just being paranoid like the blacks here? Not necessarily. In March, nurses wearing pro-Palestine badges were alleged to have maltreated a 9-year-old Jewish boy at an NHS children’s hospital, forcing him down onto the floor for treatment like a Zionist dog. Another London kidney dialysis patient was told by nurses that they would immediately cease his treatment if he didn’t delete evidential smartphone photos of a student doctor wearing a pro-Palestine shirt wandering the ward before jumping out of the window and flying back to his headquarters via paraglider whilst chanting nasheeds.

As one lawyerly spokes-Semite put it: “It is important that hospitals promote an environment of [ideological] neutrality” where “no political symbols or slogans are allowed” on uniforms, particularly not black flags of jihad or SS double lightning runes. If this were not done, Jewish patients may become “scared to reveal their own nationality or religion, for fear that they may be harmed by the staff member” in question.

Too bad for London Jews with cancer or kidney problems, I guess. How can the Jews of Great Britain be taught to embrace their future fate? How about calling in Dignity in Dying and asking their PR wallahs to craft a new aspirational advertising campaign aimed specifically at Semites, convincing them such measures are really for their own good? I suggest a complete rebrand of the practice as being “Jew-thanasia,” Either that or a racially targeted tagline of “Tod macht frei.”

Are we sure that the real patient being forced to undergo a comprehensive program of assisted dying at the moment isn’t poor old long-past-it Lady Britannia herself?