Alex Jones

Source: Sean P. Anderson

With Alex Jones on a moany-moan “goodbye cruel world” tour, I thought I’d devote a couple of columns to that carbuncle on the ass of the internet as he faces the potential loss of his empire to pay off a civil judgment.

Jones’ first stop on Boo-Hoo Tour ’24 was a chat with Tucker Carlson.

I know I’m often unkind to Tuck, but my critiques are always good-faith. I know he reads me and I’ve heard he’s a decent and amiable fellow, so I don’t wanna be a jerk. But he was wrong when he told Jones last week that “the government is taking you off the air” and “if they can do it to you, they can do it to the rest of us.”

Jones lost a civil suit—a jury trial, fair and square. And now a Texas bankruptcy judge is assisting the plaintiffs in collecting the judgment.

Sorry, Tucker, but that does happen “to the rest of us”…daily. Countless Americans lose civil cases and have to fulfill judgments, and those ordinary Americans don’t have a network of mindless followers to keep them afloat, or “apocalypse nutritional supplements” to sell to gullible boobs.

In terms of people who lose civil suits, Jones’ debt may be greater than average, but so are his options.

Tuck also told Jones that nothing’s “scarier or more threatening to our country than what they’re doing to you right now.”

Really, dude? A bankruptcy judge collecting on a jury verdict civil judgment is worse than what the government did to all of us during Covid? Really?

Dude…c’mon, man.

Tuck also managed to tell Jones with a straight face, “You’ve never done anything but attack the people in charge…that’s your crime.”

No, he lost the civil suit because he attacked grieving parents. Repeatedly. Making their lives even more hellish than they already were. Jones called the parents liars, frauds, deceivers, government agents, psyops, crisis actors, and he claimed that their dead children were still alive or maybe never existed in the first place.

That is not “attacking the people in charge.” Had the parents been public figures—actual “people in charge”—the rules in the civil trial would’ve been different.

In fact, Jones himself is far more like “the people in charge” than his supporters think.

Jones represents the modus operandi of the state. The thought process of the state at its worst and most oppressive.

Here’s an illustrative anecdote: In his masterful book about the infamous 1970 Jeffrey MacDonald “Fatal Vision” murder case, author-filmmaker Errol Morris wrote of the “impossible coffee table.” As a caveat, I’m not a scholar of this case and I take no position on whether military physician MacDonald slaughtered his family or whether the culprits were, as MacDonald claimed, filthy hippies. I’m just repeating what Morris reports.

The “impossible coffee table” was a cornerstone of the state’s case against MacDonald. MacDonald claimed that the drug-addled Wavy Gravies killed his family, stabbed him, and trashed the family’s Fort Bragg apartment. But investigators found the crime scene suspicious. A coffee table was knocked over such that it was sitting precariously on its edge. To the CID officers, the positioning of the table looked unlikely. No table could actually land that way if violently overturned in a fight. To the military cops, the table looked like it had been carefully placed on its edge in an attempt to fake an apartment upended in a homicidal hippie brawl.

The state Alex Jonesed the crime scene, looking at photos of the apartment and saying, “No table could land that way! Proof it was staged!”

They even tried their own “tests” on similar tables, kicking them and punching them every which way, and every time, the tables would land supine—flat, surface to the floor, legs sticking up in the air. Never on the edge.

Because that’s how you investigate things. You look at photos and let your hunches be the evidence. What’s Alex Jones without his evidentiary hunches? Certainly not a sooperslooth! He can’t analyze DNA or fingerprints, he can’t interrogate suspects or check for powder burns. But holy crap he’s good at looking at crime-scene photos, getting hunches, and telling his drooling minions that a Jones hunch is all the evidence they need.

But check this out: Once the MacDonald crime-scene apartment had been cleared for actual experimentation with the actual items, the head investigator violently kicked the actual table, and…it landed on its edge, just as MacDonald claimed it did during the hippie fight.

The investigators’ “hunches” amounted to nothing.

That’s not to say MacDonald isn’t guilty; there’s other evidence against him. It is to say that Alex Jonesing photos is bullshit as evidence. Yet it’s all Jones has. You do realize that, right? He’s only a billion and a half dollars in debt because he ruthlessly tormented those families based on nothing more than the “research” of his buddy Jim Fetzer, who’s even dumber and more abhorrent than Jones (it’s like two pieces of dog poop, one without worms, one with. One’s more revolting, but I want neither in my home). Fetzer (who also believes that the moon landing was fake, the Parkland mass shooting and the Boston Marathon bombing were fake and the victims were crisis actors, Paul McCartney died in 1966 and was replaced by a double, and the WTC was nuked on 9/11) bases his faux “debunking” of Sandy Hook on looking at news photos and saying, “Hmm, that kid is looking to the left, but he should be looking to the right! Crisis actor! That other kid doesn’t look scared enough. Bad crisis actor! And that kid looks too scared. Good crisis actor!”

That’s it. There’s your vaunted “sleuth.” He looks at pictures and mistakes his hunches for evidence. And I’m glad to see him and Jones bankrupted in civil court by their victims. Just as, when DAs have put innocent people in prison because of their own poor investigative skills and corruption, I’m glad to see them disbarred and ruined (and I’m happy to see the victims of willful DA misconduct receive compensatory damages).

Seven years ago—June 2017—I penned a column listing some of the cases in which innocent people were imprisoned because of Jonesian techniques employed by police and prosecutors. I don’t want to rehash an old piece, but I’ll revisit the Kevin Green case. One night in 1979 Green and his pregnant wife, Dianna, had a hellacious argument. All the neighbors heard. And Kevin stormed out. Later, his wife was found bludgeoned and near death (the fetus dead inside her).

The cops zeroed in on Kevin not just because of the fight, but his alibi. Kevin told the cops that when he stormed out, he went to a Burger King three miles from his home.

But there was a Burger King right across the street from his house!

So the cops Jones/Fetzered the situation: “If I were hungry for Burger King, I wouldn’t drive three miles out of my way when there’s one right across the street. So Green must be lying, because nobody ever does anything differently than I do. My way is the only way, so if something seems illogical to me, like a kid looking this way when I’d be looking that way, that’s ironclad proof something’s fishy!”

In fact, Green told the cops that he drove out of his way because he was blind with anger and needed to calm down (and don’t tell me you’ve never taken a walk or a drive to calm down after a fight). Indeed, Green, who’s white, recalled that as he was storming out, he saw an unknown black man walking “suspiciously” through the neighborhood.

So Green wasn’t just a wife-beater and fetus-killer, he was racist, too!

Green did seventeen years thanks to Jonesian logic, until a black man was caught red-handed beating and raping white women in home invasions, and he figured as long as he was confessing, “Oh, and I also dun the one dat white boy be servin’ time for.”

DNA analysis not possible in 1979 proved the black dude assaulted Dianna Green.

Yeah, Kevin Green “went that way when he shoulda went this way,” and it wasn’t proof of jack shit.

Another example I gave in 2017 was Steven and Marlene Aisenberg. In 1997 their 5-month-old baby went missing from their Valrico home. Plenty of evidence suggested a kidnapping, but investigators zeroed in on the parents because in the weeks after the abduction they were caught briefly smiling.

This is, of course, the cornerstone of the Jones/Fetzer Sandy Hook hoax accusation: One of the parents briefly smiled at a press conference.

So the cops ignored all other leads in the Aisenberg case, and a particularly Jonesian prosecutor lied to a judge to get the Aisenberg house bugged, then fraudulently described what was heard on the wiretaps (in true Jones/Fetzer style, he took unintelligible sections of the taps and “interpreted” them according to his “hunches” of what they’re “probably saying”).

The lead prosecutor was sanctioned, and the state had to pay the Aisenbergs a multimillion-dollar judgment.

I tried to warn you people in 2017 that following this type of bullshit evidentiary path was trouble. And I’ll add with no small modesty that had Jones listened to ol’ Dave back then and distanced himself from Fetzer’s “I can tell false flags by looking at photos and judging them by an ‘I wouldn’t do it that way’ standard,” he’d still have his fortune today.

Many read ol’ Dave…few heed ol’ Dave.

Now, you may say it’s unfair to compare Jones, a private citizen, to agents of the state who have the power to arrest and imprison. Well, corrupt lying cops and prosecutors risk jail time for their misdeeds; bigger responsibility, bigger penalty. Jones only risked a civil judgment, yet still he whines like he’s being sent to Dachau. The bottom line is, while the particulars are different, the mindset’s the same among bad detectives/prosecutors and Alex Jones: zero respect for truth, hunches mistaken for evidence, exculpatory and non-corroborative evidence ignored, and a reckless rush toward a goal (for prosecutors, a conviction. For Jones, a new “bombshell” for his suckers).

I’d go even further and suggest that the Jones mindset actually helps the worst elements of the state. I’d argue that one of the reasons the government was so successful with Covid restrictions was that the “opposition” was handed over to Jonesian buffoons who eschewed sound evidentiary arguments for make-believe nonsense. Most Americans didn’t like Covid restrictions, but just as many found the “other side” foolish or frightening.

I sincerely hope the ruination of Jones, though I’m not convinced his fat ass will actually be ruined, “chills” his kind of mercenary, cynical “let’s make stuff up about a bunch of grieving parents” speech. No speech should be outlawed by the government, but some speech deserves to be chilled by the environment.

Next week in Part II, why that “chill” is likely coming, and not only because of Jones’ justly incurred debt.