April 11, 2012
Donald Trump
This week in Chicago the adorable American Idol alum Jennifer Hudson is set to attend the murder trial of a man accused of killing three of her family members. I might even hold Jennifer’s hand myself since this story breaks my heart so much. What this poor girl has been through goes to show that life isn”t only unfair to the poor and talentless.
If that isn”t the sort of do-gooding you”re into, how about helping Bob Weinstein handle his supposedly alcoholic wife? Apparently the couple are separating and she is seeking a restraining order against him, alleging abuse. We wouldn”t be surprised if the dude is violent given all the rumors that circulate about his brother Harvey’s horrible temper and widely abusive attitude. Maybe you could do a good deed and get the scoop for us. You”ll get lots of brownie points, I promise.
Two of the most annoying people in Hollywood are rumored to be dating. Do some good and turn Kim Kardashian and Kanye West into wax figures like Madame Tussaud’s has done with the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge in London. Doesn”t this girl date anyone without a “K” in their name?
Lazy? Hell, you could just do some good and buy Madonna‘s new album MDNA off the Internet. Apparently it is the biggest and quickest fall in opening history.
Are you more of the hands-on type? The TSA could use some assistance. While you”re at it, Jim Belushi might need someone to hold his roach clip. The actor was recently caught with a joint in his pocket at Martha’s Vineyard Airport. We are happy to hear he was let go but not so happy the doob was confiscated. You know those notoriously unprofessional TSA agents probably smoked it up on their lunch break.
NBC fired the unnamed producer who doctored George Zimmerman‘s 911 call in order to make it sound more “racist””and who drastically inflamed American racial tensions by doing so. Thanks for nothing, whatever your name is”you turned this whole Trayvon mess into such a fiasco, even Al Sharpton abandoned Trayvon for Easter. I”m so sick of this whole race-baiting business. Where is The Donald when you need him? Don, please, please tell these fools that their Word of the Day has officially lost its meaning and that “racists” don”t live here anymore.
