Just how much longer will American parents, their kids, business leaders and the political class tolerate the dreadful performance of our public schools? It’s arguably the greatest threat to our nation’s economic health and our national security.
The latest Nation’s Report Card test scores are dismal and heartbreaking. The crash that started with inexcusable COVID-19-era school closures has continued over a cliff in almost every state.
The top 25% of eighth graders have seen math scores rebound a little bit from 2022, but they’re still below 2019. The other 75% of kids’ scores have remained the same or dropped.
The reading scores were even worse. Johnny can’t read.
What’s especially troubling is that scores for the lowest-performing students from disadvantaged families have fallen the most. Anyone concerned about income inequality should be protesting from the rafters.
But Washington responded with a giant yawn. The teacher unions predictably called for more money. Per-pupil funding is up by more than 50% after adjusting for inflation in most states since 1980, yet test scores are flat or falling.
Former President Joe Biden added $175 billion in federal education spending, and look what we got for the money. Nothing.
President Donald Trump should call for a national education emergency. Forty years ago, the federal report card on education warned that our schools were facing a “crisis of mediocrity.” Four decades later, mediocrity would be an improvement.
Trump has already taken important steps. He held an education summit last week that I and many of the nation’s governors attended. He has issued an executive order on school choice that would allow parents whose kids attend failing schools to have federal funds to attend higher-performing private and Catholic schools.
There are signs of real progress in some states. Tennessee Gov. Bill Lee just signed into law the most ambitious school choice program in the nation. Texas — with its 5 million schoolchildren — is likely to follow suit in the months ahead.
Louisiana Gov. Jeff Landry is also committed to choice, and his state was one of the few that actually recorded improved test scores. Louisiana has done a wholesale makeover of its learning with a program called “evidence-based curriculum.” Do what works. What a concept.
It used to be that the education crisis in America was mostly restricted to the inner cities with low-income residents, crime, drugs and mostly uneducated female-headed households. But now even many middle-class suburban areas are falling behind as well. The infection of failure is spreading, and more money is only buying worse results.
Meanwhile, other nations like China and India are focusing their schools on science, technology, engineering and math, and graduating many more math and science majors into the workforce than we are.
It’s being called our 21st-century Sputnik moment, and we’d better win the education race if we’re going to stay the global superpower.
I’ve had a lot to say over the years about how rightists refuse to act locally, or seem incapable of doing so. With one of the defining aspects of the Trump era being “the God-King will solve all problems at the national level, because all problems emanate from a Deep State cabal,” it’s understandable that rightists have abandoned local politics.
Add the mental ward that is Musk’s Twitter, in which rightist influencers compete to anoint themselves knights fighting only the largest and most fictional of dragons—Jew vampires! Moloch! The Frankists!—and the lack of interest in local stuff is fully explicable.
Jeremy Boreing: “Gimme money so I can make a film, and kids will see it, absorb the lessons, and in thirty years the culture will be changed!”
Commonsense Conservative: “Wouldn’t it be quicker to use that money to run a slate of school board candidates? Then you could reach kids directly instead of waiting thirty years for osmosis to pay off.”
Boreing: “Are you kidding? There’s no way I can grift toupee money from that!”
Okay, I’ve beaten that horse ragged. This week, let’s talk about how leftists are making the same error.
And not just any leftists, but the leftists you love to hate: Hollyweird leftists.
The current Hollywood “slowdown” is the worst in a half century. The Covid shutdown, followed by BLM-inspired racial quotas that crippled hiring, followed by streaming services overextending on spending (thinking that Covid would keep people locked down forever), followed by streaming services overcorrecting, closing their wallets to the extent that they barely fund anything anymore, followed by two strikes at the same time—actors and writers—shutting down production even longer than Covid did, coupled with competition from videogames and OnlyFans, followed by the devastating L.A. fires.
All those things served to slow production to a crawl. Content just isn’t being produced locally anymore.
See, there’s a wrinkle that isn’t well-known to laypeople. Other states and countries offer insanely generous tax credits, rebates, and other perks to lure production away from L.A. (remember, Hollywood’s not a city. It’s L.A. And it’s not Beverly Hills, which is a city, but not Hollywood. Sorry, but conservatives always need that reminder).
It’s become irresistibly rewarding for productions to move out of California; Hollywood is practically shut down. Not because nothing’s being made, but because what is being made is being made elsewhere. The effect on the local job market is devastating. A quick explainer to the gyuck-gyuckers: “Above-the-line” refers to the “big names” on a movie—the stars, the director, producers, writers. “Below-the-line” is everyone else. The 95 percent. The grips, gaffers, lighters, riggers, production designers, costumers, makeup, hair, first AD, second unit, and supporting actors/extras.
In order to qualify for all those juicy tax credits and rebates handed out by other states and countries, “below-the-line” hires have to be local. That means that 95 percent of the jobs on movies and TV shows are being filled out-of-state and out-of-country, leaving workers in L.A. unemployed.
These days, if you’re below-the-line in L.A., forget it. Bus tables or suck cock; Hollywood’s closed.
None of this is new; runaway production—using perks to lure movies and TV shows away from Hollywood—has been around for decades. It started with Canada, and it’s now everywhere. It’s no longer productions saving a few bucks by hopping from NYC to Toronto. It’s now productions saving (or making) millions by going to Georgia, Connecticut, Europe, and Australasia.
Covid’s done, the strikes are over, the BLM quotas are finished, and even though streaming production is low, content will return; it always does. But runaway production? Right now, there’s no end to that in sight.
Why? Because L.A. and Cali Democrats won’t budge on offering incentives that are competitive with other states and countries.
For example, Georgia’s spent more than $5 billion on rebates and incentives to lure Hollywood productions to the state. That’s why Stranger Things and the Marvel movies are shot there. New York gives away $700 million a year to productions in the form of rebates and tax credits. New Mexico’s perks are so generous, Netflix has poured more than $900 million into the state in the past few years.
See, that’s how it works—a state lures productions with credits and rebates, and in turn the productions pour money into the local job market by hiring locals for the work that used to be done here.
In Ireland, producers gets the cash equivalent of the tax credit in advance. Meaning the producers get money for spending in Ireland before they spend in Ireland.
Nice deal! And it gets nicer. States like Massachusetts and Connecticut give rebates not just for in-state spending, but for the multimillion-dollar salaries of A-list actors. So a studio can pay Tom Cruise his 40 mil, and then get a rebate on it by shooting in MA or CT.
When this program launched in MA, it proved so controversial, then-governor Deval Patrick lied out of his ass, claiming megastar salaries weren’t covered. But the press caught him cold. Per the AP: “A quarter of the tax breaks given to movie companies under Massachusetts’ film tax credit program have gone to help filmmakers cover the paychecks of millionaire Hollywood stars.”
So with film and TV producers reaping so many rewards by shooting outside California, why would they ever return?
Look at the figures. $5 billion budgeted for rebates in Georgia. $700 million in New York.
California? A mere $40 million.
That’s why only two of the TV shows that won Emmys in 2024 were filmed in L.A.—only two.
Obviously, the unions representing below-the-line workers want production to come back. So do the Teamsters, who want CA to raise the credits/rebates to $1 billion. But, according to the L.A. Times, “such a boost will be difficult—if not impossible—to obtain.”
Why won’t California and L.A. help Hollywood bring back production and jobs?
Per the Times/em>: “Critics contend that subsidizing entertainment diverts money away from other crucial sectors such as education and healthcare. ‘When we look at corporate tax incentives like the film credit, one thing that we think about is: Is this effective in achieving a more equitable, prosperous California, and could that money be better spent?’ said Kayla Kitson, a senior policy expert at the California Budget and Policy Center.”
Yep…equity!
Cali Democrats dismiss Hollywood as bourgeois and white.
The industry that votes overwhelmingly Dem is being choked to death by the very liberals it elected. The people who helped make California a one-party state of social justice lunatics are out of work because the social justice lunatics see them as not deserving of aid.
Hollywood leftists have gotten away with their hypocrisy for decades—relying on corporations (studios, networks) for a living while denouncing corporations as evil. Now it’s caught up with them, as the Dems they’ve elected have zero concern for corporate Hollywood.
Bimbo bit-part actress: “Like, err-mah-gerd, I’m, like, totally a socialist. Eat the rich! Kill the corporations!” [Pause] “Oh no! Why isn’t California subsidizing my industry?”
Black elected-for-life Democrat: “Because you be corporate, bitch! Now vote fo’ me agin, bougie white-ass ho.”
As should be clear from what I’ve already outlined, the megastars aren’t suffering. Tom Cruise will always get his $40 million per picture, even if he has to go to Massachusetts for it or God forbid even Ireland (the poor dear). It’s the rank-and-file guys who are out of work. So you have a double irony: The below-the-liners vote Dem, then they get thrown to the wolves by the Dems they elected, while the billionaire actors and producers preach how pro-labor they are, while simultaneously taking their productions out of state, leaving the working folks to starve.
This should serve as a lesson to conservatives that Hollywood doesn’t run this town. Indeed, the Democrat establishment in L.A. and CA doesn’t think very much of the film/TV industry as a whole. Oh, the Dems love the pampered billionaire actors who write checks every election. But the average working man and woman in the biz? Democrats see them as disposable white trash.
Back in 2000, when rank-and-file actors went on strike against TV commercial producers, the L.A. Times—the Death Star of leftism—was forced to apologize (a rarity for any media organ, but this was during the brief period the Times had an ethical ombudsman…her tenure was brief specifically because she was ethical) for ignoring the actors’ strike in favor of the janitors’ strike that was going on at the same time.
The Times dismissed the actors’ strike in favor of the janitors’ strike because actors aren’t “brown” and “immigrant” enough.
Comparing the two strikes, ombudsman Narda Zacchino wrote:
One action involved janitors in the Service Employees International Union, whose April strike resulted in 28 articles published in The Times in 25 consecutive days. Compare that to the 20 stories in the ongoing, 119-day strike by the Screen Actors Guild and the American Federation of Television and Radio Artists, and it’s easy to see why many readers are furious with the newspaper’s strike coverage. Is their anger justified? Yes.
The strike by the 135,000 SAG and AFTRA members is much larger than that of the 8,500 SEIU janitors, and it affects thousands more, including agents, grips, electricians, caterers and lighting technicians. The local economic impact—estimated to be at least $1 million a day in lost revenue as commercial production flees to other locations—makes the strike a major local story.
Zacchino concludes that the paper ignored the actors to “focus on immigrant workers.”
So Hollywood should’ve seen this coming. Hollywood should’ve known that the California Dem establishment is no friend. But no. Below-the-liners continued voting for big national issues (open borders! Trannies! Abortion! BLM!), and now they’re shit outta work and Sacramento’s telling them to screw off.
Hollywood’s rank and file should’ve been paying attention to local politics. But they were too busy with Bush-is-Hitler protests and Trump-is-Hitler protests and pussy hats and tranny ribbons to see how in the end it would be the local Dem politicians who leave them destitute.
Rightists, see why I hector you about this shit?
Get mad at me all you want, but my advice is solid.
Stop daydreaming of battling Moloch and go local. Trump, who can only think in operatic terms, brought in Mel Gibson and Jon Voight as “emissaries” to “fix Hollywood.” And those two loons will only know how to “fix Hollywood” in grandiose absurdities: Gibson will say the problem is THE TALMUD and Voight will hand out free Sowell books.
Whereas the only actual fix is for California to become competitive with tax rebates and credits.
But that’s too boring for you guys.
Not that any of you need be concerned with fixing “liburrul Hollywood.” I’m just saying, lefties get screwed by ignoring the local stuff just like righties.
More next week in Part III.
Last week it was annual Holocaust Memorial Day—ironically, I personally failed to remember this fact, otherwise I would have written this present column to fit in with it.
However, I was soon reminded of the occasion after being alerted in the media to the highly surprising information that the Nazis were poised to return to power in Germany in about a month or so’s time now, before immediately re-embarking upon a comprehensive program of reinvading Poland and France, firing V-2s at London, and killing all the Jews.
Germany has national elections in February and, according to the favorite to become the next Chancellor, Friedrich Merz, leader of the “center right” (re: just a tiny little bit less left than the actual left are) Christian Democratic Union (CDU), there is a clear and present danger it might be won by the Nazi Party—even though the Nazi Party no longer exist in Germany at all, being a specifically illegal political organization there. Every time my own country of Great Britain goes to the polls, I feel similar apprehension of a potential looming Whig victory.
Him/Herr Hitler
By “Nazis,” Merz actually means the reputedly “far-right” (re: sane and normal) Alternative für Deutschland (AfD) Party, which is currently occupying second position in the polls, on account of its calls for mass “remigration” of all the Africans and Muslims who have poured into the country ever since Angela Merkel’s socially disastrous Willkommenskultur policies of ten years ago. Far from using the military to extend Germany’s borders, like the real Nazis did, the AfD just wants to defend the nation’s territory from outside invaders instead.
Friedrich Merz’s worry is that such policies actually make good electoral sense—so much so, he is hastily copying them in watered-down, homeopathic fashion. But, if such AfD Lite measures fail, then, come the next election-but-one in 2033, Merz fears the “fascists” might well ride high upon a tide of severe public dissatisfaction and celebrate the centenary of Adolf Hitler taking power by doing so themselves. “Once in ’33 is quite enough for Germany,” is Merz’s rather strange new slogan.
Is 2020s Germany really now a hotbed of far-right poison, as Merz claims, though? I have my doubts. Sven Liebich is a 53-year-old neo-Nazi linked to the AfD, currently serving an eighteen-month sentence, probably in Landsburg Prison, for inciting hatred. But no sooner had Sven entered his cell than he magically developed new chromosomes, changed his name to Marla-Svenja, and demanded to be transferred via cattle truck to a women’s prison instead, by which he definitely didn’t mean Ravensbrück.
Under Germany’s new distinctly un-Nazi gender self-ID laws, Liebich claimed he enjoyed this legal right of transfer in order to be able to avoid “discrimination” from his skeptical all-male fellow camp internees. Isn’t “discrimination” supposed to be precisely the kind of thing genuine Nazis like? If even the nation’s supposed “neo-Nazis” are going woke like this, Germany can’t be in that much danger of suffering a second Holocaust, can it? Didn’t the actual Nazis once kill people like Sven/Svenja, not recruit them?
Ve Haf Vays of Stopping You Talk
Counterintuitively, whilst the sex-swapping AfD “Nazis” of 2020s Germany are currently calling for less “discrimination,” the present ruling left-liberal Chancellor, Olaf Scholz, has begun complaining about “misguided tolerance” being applied toward violent non-white immigrants over the past decade, following the latest stabbing incident in the nation. This one occurred in the Bavarian town of Aschaffenberg, where a failed Afghan asylum seeker killed a toddler (himself of Moroccan descent, fatefully enough) and an adult white male after targeting a kindergarten outing in a park.
This supposed “unprecedented outrage” (unprecedented apart from all the others—there was a previous Islamist plot to distribute poisoned ice cream to German toddlers before blowing the van up outside a kindergarten) was meant to have been the final straw for Scholz, who would now finally get serious about dealing with the Muslims…the very same Muslims that people like him had spent their entire political lives busily trying to import in the name of “love.”
Failed mainstream politicians like Scholz make all the right noises about toughening up on immigration now, mere weeks before an angry public can finally kick them out of office, but during less electorally important times, they far prefer to devote all available resources to silencing those who dare voice opinions contrary to their own murderously utopian multi-kulti fantasies.
In June last year, for instance, a 20-year-old German woman, Maja R, was given a harsher sentence than a Muslim immigrant who had helped gang-rape an underage girl in a park after Maja had contacted him online to call him a “disgusting freak” and a “disgraceful rapist pig,” something German judges deemed a form of defamation.
Defamation how? Defamation means you have to say something false about a person, not something true! He had raped someone, he was found guilty of doing so, in a literal court of law—and was then rapidly let off without any jail time whatsoever, on account of him being underage, just like his victim. His adult insulter Maja R, meanwhile, got a weekend in jail. Maybe the specific “pig” element of her slur was deemed to be Islamophobic?
Once news of this blatant example of two-tier justice got out, it drew much public criticism. German legal authorities then sprang immediately into action—by beginning investigations into around 140 individuals who, by making accurately disparaging comments about the judgment online, had supposedly engaged in “a targeted attack on the rule of law.” In today’s Germany, to correctly observe what the “anti-fascist” State is systematically doing to its own people (i.e., raping and killing them by proxy) is itself now tacitly borderline illegal. I thought leaders like Scholz and Merz disapproved of old Nazi-era bodies like the Gestapo?
Judge This Case for Yourself
Last October, meanwhile, Doris van Geul, a 74-year-old pensioner of good old-fashioned Aryan stock, noticed a Facebook propaganda image of the country’s coalition government Green Party Economics Minister, Robert Habeck, rather debatably stating that “Germany depends on immigration to meet our labor needs.” She also noticed that this was a load of alt scheisse, and so posted online as follows:
Blah, blah, blah. We need skilled workers, not asylum seekers who just want a good life here without respecting our values and culture. Send the ones who are here off to work. We don’t need loafers and freeloaders, and certainly not stabbers and rapists.
The end result? The Dusseldorf Public Prosecutor charged van Geul with the crime of “inciting hatred in a manner likely to disturb the public peace.”
After Frau van Geul defended herself in court, her prosecutor complained that “it sounds as if [the defendant] still doesn’t approve of [Germany’s mass immigration] policies,” an opinion somehow deemed to be “antidemocratic” in its nature—unlike a court apparently mandating to a “free” citizen what the “correct” political opinions to hold upon such matters must henceforth be, which is clearly not antidemocratic in the slightest.
In the name of true democracy, the pensioner was then fined €7,950, to be paid off in regular installments until she was 93 (or, more realistically, until she was dead). What had this poor woman even done? According to the judge, she had made “false” statements about immigrants in Germany. But what was actually false about them? Nothing!
Arabian Blights
Germany today is a land where the laws against insulting politicians and their cherished “anti-Nazi” policies are so insanely strict that to breach them can lead to your home being raided at dawn by squads of armed polizei—even, as I have previously shown here, if you are a harmless pensioner who happened to jokingly call a Minister (that same Robert Habeck again…) a “Professional Dickhead” to his friends on Twitter.
And yet, if you happen to be a Saudi immigrant into the nation, with a known criminal record, German authorities will happily don their blinkers and ignore the fact that you have a photo of an AR-15 assault rifle as your profile image on social media, and openly post things like this upon your account:
(1) “It’s very likely that I will die this year in order to bring justice.”
(2) “I assure you that if Germany wants a war, we will fight it. If Germany wants to kill us, we will slaughter them, die, or go to prison with pride.”
And then, finally, these very same authorities will act as being all surprised when said individual ends up being arrested for allegedly ramming his car into crowds of people at a Christmas market in Magdeburg in late December.
I speak of Taleb Jawad al-Abdulmohsen, the Saudi refugee and apparent apostate from Mecca turned virulent anti-Islam critic, who reportedly sought to punish his white German hosts for allowing more Muslims into the country by the most extreme means possible—i.e., by killing them and their children. Otherwise, actual true-believing Muslims might come into the country from places like Saudi Arabia and start doing terrible things like killing them and their children, you see.
Non-Aryan Nation
The German authorities’ best effort to take the sting out of this bizarre situation was to hijack the careless driver’s exceedingly anti-immigration views to label al-Abdulmohsen as being a kind of neo-Nazi—yes, that’s right, to say he was a white supremacist, even though he is blatantly an Arab immigrant.
In fact, if you look at the man’s full list of opinions expressed online, they are an incoherent mishmash of beliefs, from support for right-wing parties, to claiming to be a left-winger, to seemingly everything in between. Helpfully, therefore, it has proved eminently possible for the suspected terrorist to be linked to the AfD, at least tangentially. The fact that he could equally as well have been linked to other, far more leftist, causes was obviously a complete irrelevance.
Stung, the AfD has in its turn since tried to claim that al-Abdulmohsen’s avowed anti-Islam stance is but a cunning ploy, intended to disguise his true subsurface jihadist intent. AfD figures cite an Islamist doctrine called taqqiyah, which allows adherents to lie about their true worldviews when operating amidst the presence of the occidental infidels whom they secretly wish to destroy from within.
This might sound like a paranoid “far-right” conspiracy theory, but you could well argue that Germany’s own long-ruling liberal and left-wing politicians and media class operate a form of secular taqqiyah of their own too, whenever lying relentlessly about the true catastrophic effects of their thoughtless mass importation of Islam into the territories of the former Reich.
Forget the idea of Germany going fascist this February. Contrary to Friedrich Merz’s claims, perhaps the true problem with modern-day Germany is that it just isn’t Nazi enough?
The Week’s Most Larking, Barking, and Rosa Parking Headlines
BUS BOYS
As reported last week, L.A. Metro made all subway rides free during the course of the fire emergencies in the city. The result was a 100 percent drop in fare-evading, and a 77 percent jump in transit violence, as black and Guatemalan turnstile jumpers, missing the sense of danger that accompanies evading cops, began shooting each other because what’s life without adrenaline?
“White boys BASE-jump,” local BLM spokesman D’Crepitt Stankum told the Times. “We murder people on subways.”
But now, L.A. Metro is putting the “free” back in freedmen.
Among all the idiotic things Joe Biden did in office, and it would take a lifetime longer even than his to catalog them, one of the most asinine was “Transit Equity Day,” “celebrated” federally every Feb. 4, Rosa Parks’ birthday.
And the celebration? In the words of the schizo black transient who sits outside the Metro station at 7th and Figueroa, “All niggas ride free!”
Yes, free rides for all non-whites! The “fare holiday” was inaugurated in 2021 by Pete Buttigieg, and sadly the black guys riding in his ceremonial subway car found out the hard way that for Pete, “free seats for the taking” means something quite different from what they’d assumed.
As of now, Transit Equity Day is only observed in California, Georgia, Maryland, Minnesota, North Carolina, D.C., Virginia, and Wisconsin.
When an idea is so idiotic even New York doesn’t do it, you know it’s an idea of supreme stupidity.
To better observe transit equity, as blacks get to ride free, non-blacks will be compelled to “act black” on the subways. Elderly Jewish women will be forced to jump turnstiles (“Oy, my back! Enough with the jumping already”), elderly Jewish men will be encouraged to punch old Asian ladies in the face (“This is for putting POHRK in my moo shu!”), and Asian men will be forced to wave their penises at children (“What you mean, you can’t see it? It right there!”).
Uber, get ready for record usage Tuesday.
ROMEO AND MOOLIET
Ghanaian/Nigerian Francesca Amewudah-Rivers has been making the rounds claiming that during her recent stint as Juliet in a West End production of Romeo and Juliet (alongside Tom Holland), she was mercilessly pilloried with “racist hate mail.”
She also claims she was uncomfortable with the fact that the production used cameras to broadcast the play on a big screen.
“Off the back of the abuse, having to stare down the camera lens and have my face be blown up in this theatre was really tough mentally,” she told The Guardian.
This might be the most honest black actress on earth, in an age when every black woman no matter how hideous must be described as a “great beauty.” Yes, Amewudah-Rivers’ face is most unpleasant. How unpleasant? Romeo kills himself when he finds out she’s still alive. She didn’t get cast in Hamlet because the producers found her too ugly to play Yorick. In Macbeth, she didn’t play one of the witches; she played the eye of newt they put in the cauldron. In Othello she played the reason he went white.
Amewudah-Rivers got her start in Richard III. In the iconic opening monologue, Richard says…
Into this breathing world, scarce half made up,
And that so lamely and unfashionable
That dogs bark at me as I halt by them.
You might think she played Richard, but no, it’s worse…she played the dog.
It’s very possible that those angry letters were not from racists but aesthetes.
Also, that production of Romeo and Juliet got lousy reviews, mainly for changes made to Shakespeare’s prose.
In this version of the balcony scene, when Romeo says…
See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand!
O, that I were a glove upon that hand,
That I might touch that cheek!
But soft, she speaks…
…he hears back “MAH DAMN FRIES TOO COLD!”
THE NATIONAL HELL-TH
L.A. city officials, who up till now never ceded that Biden threw the border open, are now attacking Biden for “throwing the border open.”
Why the shift? Mayor Bass, already facing massive criticism for having burned down the city (causing every NYC subway schizo to exclaim, “Wow, we can only immolate one at a time!”), is panicked that she won’t get L.A.’s homeless crisis under control for the upcoming Olympics. So she’s decided to blame it all on Biden and his illegals. But Biden, eating ice cream at Delaware’s Cornpop Memorial Seniors Home, is having none of Bass’ buck-passing; he’s finally found the one black ass he won’t kiss or sniff.
Meanwhile, last week the British government admitted that “up to one-in-twelve in London is an illegal migrant.”
Worse still, as noted by The Telegraph, illegals receive priority care from the U.K.’s “National Health,” as native Britons die in the street, a grim reality exemplified last month in Dorset when a 95-year-old woman slipped on a frozen sidewalk, breaking her hip (those gags were funnier when Benny Hill did them). And when passersby called for an ambulance, authorities responded that she was not a “priority.” The NHS left her lying on the sidewalk, in great pain, slowly freezing to death, for more than five hours before an ambulance was dispatched.
Nearby shopkeepers tended to her with jellied eels, black pudding, stargazy pie, Marmite, and lardy cake.
So they tried to kill the poor old bag too.
When the ambulance finally arrived, Queen Vic-hernia was transported to the nearest council flat, because the ambulance doubles as a food delivery service for hungry African immigrants.
Unbangabuto said the woman was delicious.
If you’re in the U.K. and an old lady falls, don’t call 999 about an old lady falling. Call to say that someone just misgendered a tranny Ghanaian; it’s the only thing British authorities care about.
Another joyous day on the Sphinctered Isle.
PSYCHOS-THERAPY
What’s with the recent plague of self-hating mass killers?
Last month in Germany we had Taleb Al-Abdulmohsen, a renunciant Muslim who railed against immigration and Islam before plowing his car into a Christmas market.
You never expect that kind of thing. It would be like an Asian being dimorphic, a Punjabi using a toilet, or a Mexican who’s an only child. It just never happens in the wild!
Al-Abdulmohsen served as a source for CNN. He literally had access to CNN’s office, but he rammed his car into a market? His legacy will be one of lost opportunity.
Angry tweets, pointless violence. Welcome to the Whine-more Republic.
Deutschland goober alles.
And now we have Solomon Henderson, a 17-year-old black student in Tennessee who so hated black people, he opened fire on his classroom, killing a Latina.
The shooter, who literally began his manifesto with “kill all niggers,” went out and killed a Mexican. Amazingly, the guy who wrote “blacks are stupid” used his final act to further his own hypothesis.
It might be possible that in Solomon Henderson, America’s found the one black student who’s not a “genius.”
No tweets from Obama about this kid.
“Nice Glock, Ahmed.”
“Honors student”? More like “horrors student.”
Al-Abdulmohsen and Henderson should’ve taken inspiration from self-hating Jews, who express their self-revulsion by marrying shiksas who embrace fellatio.
If you’re gonna be a self-hater, do it in style.
TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON-FACED
Sci-fi movies have a history of being poor predictors of the future. Instead of domed cities, we got safe spaces. Instead of one pill that cures all diseases, we got forty boosters for one nagging cough. Instead of flying cars, we got drones that make residents of New Jersey reenact the Orson Welles War of the Worlds panic of 1938.
And when it came to AI, sci-fi authors promised giant robots boxing each other in a global war to determine the fate of mankind.
What did we get instead?
Tiny apps battling each other in a global war to determine the fate of Gen Z bimbos who give the finger while sticking out their tongue.
After Trump unilaterally “paused” the ban on TikTok after that one terrible Sunday when the site went dark (Zoomers call this their 9/11), legal experts generally agreed that Trump can’t actually “pause” federal legislation, but no one’s making a big deal about it because no Gen Xer wants to reexperience that awful Sunday night when twentysomethings took to the streets shouting their TikToks out loud for the world to hear: “I’m trans!” “FAT ACCEPTANCE!” “Lookit me, I can stick my tongue out and give the finger with both hands! I said LOOK AT ME!”
Gen X calls this its Vietnam.
Meanwhile, China inspired a NASDAQ paniq last week after perfecting an AI “chatbot” more powerful than anything developed in the West.
To provide perspective regarding the difference between Sam Altman’s OpenAI and China’s DeepSeek, whereas ChatGPT can write 100,000 term papers per hour for black law school students who got into university via affirmative action, DeepSeek can write one million legal injunctions an hour against the universities so that black affirmative-action law school students don’t have to write term papers, with ample time left over to write fake letters of support from Denzel Washington to be read at the students’ trials for shooting McDonald’s employees.
As harmless as this “war of the robots” appears at first, many on the far-right question whether AI is satanic. And indeed it should be noted that DeepSeek is so powerful it can write enough dead-language demonic incantations in ten seconds to conjure 10 million demons to torment 10 million sleeping Tucker Carlsons for all eternity.
Maybe giant boxing robots weren’t so bad after all.
