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Is the appearance of the fashionably mutilated face of Dylan Mulvaney on limited-edition cans of Bud Light a sign of the imminent End Times? The launch of the preening celebrity tranny’s recent controversial beer-sponsorship campaign came a mere two days prior to the 50th anniversary of the birth of the barcode on 3 April. But were both unsightly product stamps truly nothing more than marks of corporate allegiance to Satan?

According to urban legend, the evil number 666 is hidden away subliminally within all barcodes, the very same dreaded Mark of the Beast warned about in the Bible’s Book of Revelation, a sign of the End-of-Days rule of Anti-Christ without which it would become impossible to buy or sell any goods.

In 2014, the Russkoe Moloko (“Russian Milk”) company, owned by a devout Orthodox Christian, circumvented this problem by printing barcodes on its products with a big red cross over them, as a kind of consumer exorcism. In 2023, singer Kid Rock performed a similar service for Bud Light by taking out entire cratefuls of equally satanic Mulvaney Jizz Juice with a semiautomatic rifle.

Bent Coins
The Mark is generally taken by biblical scholars as a reference to the heads of Roman Emperors on coins of the day, without which it was impossible for early Christians to go about their economic business—666 is probably numerical code for “Nero.”

Unless they wanted to starve, persecuted followers of Jesus had to use these coins and thus compromise their loyalty to God by accepting economic fealty to the oppressive Roman State that persecuted them instead. Today, Rome has morphed imperceptibly into Washington.

Many Christians literally believe the contemporary gay rainbow symbol of Mulvaney’s deviant kind is a sign of homosexuals’ pact with the Devil; biblically, the seven-colored rainbow was proof of God’s covenant with man, but the LGBTQ gaybow has only six hues, the number of Satan.

As miniature rainbow swastikas now appear printed on utterly non-anus-related products all across our shelves, from beer to breakfast cereals, these are viewed by some as the actual form the Mark of the Beast has taken in our modern woke Sodom.

Bum Notes
In earlier days of Gay Liberation, homosexualists went around stamping notes with phrases like “Queer Cash” or “Lesbian Money”; Oxford’s Ashmolean Museum now has a whole display devoted to “Queering Currency.” No wonder a 2012 study found one in seven British banknotes are now “contaminated with fecal organisms,” and not just the ones with Alan Turing on them.

Now gays are spared the effort of stamping cash with slogans personally, as the State is happy to queer their coinage for them. One British 50-pence coin, produced in 2020, reads “DIVERSITY BUILT BRITAIN,” this being a severe misprint for “DESTROYED.” The Royal Mint even produced a tie-in lesson plan encouraging schoolkids to design their own versions in class; as a child, I was always taught it was illegal to draw penises on legal tender; now teachers actively encourage the practice.

That particular “diverse” 50p was actually more centered on worshipping blacks than benders, but in 2022, celebrating fifty years since Britain’s first Gay Pride march, the Royal Mint rectified this by producing a highly unusual (and highly hideous) color coin, defaced with satanic rainbows and the pastel hues of the transgender flag.

The Royal Mail postal service joined in, printing special Gay Pride stamps featuring images of interracial gay unions, drag queens with pink, candy-floss hair, and leather-clad Village People marching through the streets, holding hands, piggybacking one another (I think…), rainbow-kissing, and swigging Bud Light. Although British stamps are now self-adhesive, it appeared Royal Mail still wished its customers to be forced to lick homosexuals’ backsides nonetheless.

Considered figuratively, if not necessarily literally, what are these if not real-life Marks of the Beast?

Queer Beer
If this all seems too blatant, another way of Satan making our corporations and their products carry a secret 666 comes in terms of the Corporate Equality Index, or CEI score.

Researching this piece, I found typing “CEI” into a search engine also returns unexpected results for something called “Cum Eating Instructions,” a niche pornographic practice in which sadistic persons on screen instruct viewers in very strong terms indeed to swallow their ejaculate, with no means of visible opt-out. Corporate CEI is just another way of homosexuals like Dylan Mulvaney forcing you to do the very same thing with handfuls of their own small gametes.

U.S. corporations’ CEI scores are overseen by the Human Rights Campaign, a gay lobby group led by a former Obama campaigner named Kelley Robinson who, to judge by photos, is a satanic Hell-Beast so committed to the Dark God Diversity he/she/it has chosen currently to manifest on our Earth-plane as a retarded trans black Himmler. Every year, Homo Himmler sends out gay sub-demons to corporations, informing them what particular flavors of spunk they have to chew on that year in order to get a high CEI score.

As shown by the NY Post, 20 of the 100 CEI points available come from “Marketing or advertising to LGBTQ consumers,” meaning companies have to put gaybows or the faces of disturbed cosplayers like Mr. Mulvaney on their cans, or else face a low score, even if this costs them sales amongst the wider community of non-trans normies.

Only ten days after employing Mulvaney, Budweiser had lost perhaps $4 billion in market capitalization, seemingly due to widespread public boycotts spooking investors, illustrating the popular “Go Woke, Go Broke” maxim. Given this, why would boards care about their stupid Cum Eating Index score?

Because failure to open wide and swallow deep will mean you are looked upon badly by America’s three main investment firms, BlackRock, Vanguard, and State Street Bank, who appear somewhat ideologically motivated and explicitly prefer to invest cash in firms who push left-wing issues like climate change, white genocide, and making everyone pretend Dylan Mulvaney can have periods.

These banks are among the top shareholders of many big multinational corporations…including Anheuser-Busch, the gender-neutral parent company of Budweiser. As such, they have a big say in who gets appointed to their boards, and as their corporate CEOs—i.e., 666-branded Marxist puppets.

Financial Periods
To see the stygian depths of hellish absurdity into which this all may lead, watch this insane 2015 advert for U.K. hardware store Robert Dyas—“Where gays and straights can buy drills and much, much more”—in which random products like Christmas trees are advertised not on their innate quality, but purely as being “perfect for a gay person, or a straight person” equally. Doubtless Robert Dyas’ door hinges also swing both ways.

Worse, consider Mulvaney’s recent, even madder campaign selling sports bras for Nike, even though HE HAS NO TITS. When expert breast-examiner and former Grand Slam tennis champion Martina Navratilova pointed this out, she was immediately trolled as a TERF on account of having once been trained to victory by a transgenderist herself (Penis Williams).

It’s no wonder a false rumor soon spread that Tampax was also employing Mulvaney to sell tampons; apparently, they simply sent him a free box in 2022 “to give to women in need.” According to Mr. Mulvaney, “You come over to my house and we are having a glass of wine, I got a tampon for you!” Well, he certainly doesn’t need one for himself, does he? Unless Kid Rock stabs him.

There are certain products and services it may genuinely be appropriate for Mulvaney to advertise—Dignitas, straitjackets, amyl nitrate—but bras and tampons are not amongst them.

Consumer AIDS
So, what can you do? One option would be to sign up for new “Woke Alerts” on your phone, warning you the next time a beverage company randomly tries to persuade you to “normalize the bulge,” as Mulvaney puts it about the dubious contents of his own underwear.

Or you could follow U.S. nonprofit organization 2ndVote, this “second vote” being the consumer vote we each exercise every day when buying goods and services—or indeed when boycotting them. 2ndVote provides a reverse-CEI score out of five for each major corporation on its database, with 5.00 being IG Farben c.1942, 3.00 being ideologically pH neutral, and 1.00 being—well, Anheuser-Busch, described as “committing themselves completely to the anti-American pro-Communist agenda seeking to destroy America.”

The site provides more ethical, alternative non-queer beers you can buy instead, with ratings closer to 5.00 or 3.00—personally, I’d prefer the latter. Ordinary consumer products should be politically neutral, not left-wing or right-wing. Do we really want the shelves at Walmart to be divided into pro-Palestinian and pro-Israeli brands of toothpaste, or pro-abortion and pro-life breakfast cereals, Kellogg’s Abortion Flakes vs. Sugar Frosted Embry-Os?

But even this may not be enough. As long as Black Trans Himmler’s queer CEI racket continues, many of America’s largest companies will continue not to be motivated purely by profit, because they are really operating as part of a malign, far-left corporatist State, not a free-market capitalist one as before. America’s CEOs, investment funds, and politicians are all locked inside the same shared toilet cubicle together, exploiting their power to make the rainbow Mark of the Beast impossible for ordinary folk to avoid, a genuine gay Gleichschaltung.

What is really needed is to pass legislation outlawing CEI entirely, and CEI-based investment funds, too—but a Republican-backed bill to similar basic effect was recently cock-blocked by Joe Biden’s veto. For shame!

Some of us don’t want our shopping carts to veer drunkenly toward either the left or the right. We just want to buy some cans of damn beer.